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Internet Reviewing: Difference between revisions

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'''Internet Reviewing''' is the new early 21th Century Western World way of panhandling through using one's internet connection, exploiting sensationalist reactions from fan bases, and saying things off of the top of one's head without even meaning it, all to earn that sweet dribbling dripping slop drop of ad revenue at the end of the day like a modern day Tantalus rat in modern day society's rat race.  
'''Internet Reviewing''' is the new early 21st Century Western World way of panhandling through using one's internet connection, exploiting sensationalist reactions from fan bases, and saying things off of the top of one's head without even meaning it, all to earn that sweet dribbling dripping slop drop of ad revenue at the end of the day like a modern day Tantalus rat in modern day society's rat race.  


For a more "sophisticated" and "concise" definition, it's essentially the act of putting up internet based multimedia and mediums meant to "entertain" while "providing critique" on already existing entertainment. Or in short, to leech off of others successful, let alone released works of entertainment, and to make money off of it rather than enlightening why something is good and/or bad as entertainment with a measure of skillful criterion.
For a more "sophisticated" and "concise" definition, it's essentially the act of putting up internet based multimedia and mediums meant to "entertain" while "providing critique" on already existing entertainment. Or in short, to leech off of others successful, let alone released works of entertainment, and to make money off of it rather than enlightening why something is good and/or bad as entertainment with a measure of skillful criterion.
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==List of Internet Reviewers==
==List of Internet Reviewers==
{{ytseries}}

Revision as of 22:46, 3 January 2017

Internet Reviewing is the new early 21st Century Western World way of panhandling through using one's internet connection, exploiting sensationalist reactions from fan bases, and saying things off of the top of one's head without even meaning it, all to earn that sweet dribbling dripping slop drop of ad revenue at the end of the day like a modern day Tantalus rat in modern day society's rat race.

For a more "sophisticated" and "concise" definition, it's essentially the act of putting up internet based multimedia and mediums meant to "entertain" while "providing critique" on already existing entertainment. Or in short, to leech off of others successful, let alone released works of entertainment, and to make money off of it rather than enlightening why something is good and/or bad as entertainment with a measure of skillful criterion.

For the final definition put in the words of ED, it's essentially a bunch of lazy genitalless fuckoffs who are too busy chucklefucking their way through life as a bunch of unfunny, snarky, unwarranted arrogant and sex deprived nerds who think that if they can weasel around copyright laws with the shield of Fair Use, shitty humor, unsympathetic behavior as a human being, and beguiling deceit like a pro bullshitter Hollywood lawyer, they can make shitty videos that rip off Rifftrax and MST3K like the conartists they are. Hey, don't blame us, blame Doug Walker and Noah Antwiler.

Knowing the Details of Internet Reviewers

Internet Reviewing will often stem from:

  • Nobodies who gave up on a career in entertainment like a whiny bitch and pussed out because of the grind, becoming bitter cucks
  • Arrogant spectators who "definitely know what is good and bad" and think that what they will say will be that important
  • Diehardcore fans of MST3K who will "monkey see, monkey do"
    • All of them motivated by sweet, sweet $$$ and think that this will get them to rise big like Hollywood celebs

As said before, Internet Reviewing is only meant for those who live in places like Europe or the United States, where people can buy equipment to record video and upload onto the internets. This being said, do not be surprised if many an internet reviewer says something untrue, rife in ignorance, shows absolutely no knowledge of what is going on, and/or is rooted in myopia. This is due to how 99.9% of them are white/whitewashed pampered suburbia churned fatheads who know absolutely nothing about going outside of their societal bubble and will be all too happy to draw upon stereotypes and personal bias. Yes, Internet Reviewing has to also be one of the most whitest things you could do. This also includes resorting to racially and culturally offensive humor just to garner laughs from their mostly white audience. Do not be fooled by SJW and/or "equality" preaching Internet Reviewers either; they'll be happy to display the former with "impunity because I'm open minded" and/or displaying the "white man's superiority on all of entertainment media" through "educating" people on how fatheaded they are by displaying it live on camera.

Culturally and socially, Internet Reviewing is an pretty serious sign of issues in the world. Alongside promoting socially inept and uncomfortable displays of behavior, like screaming incesseantly and promoting IRL displays of mimicking an internet critic's "nerd humor" in unfunny and really backass antisocial ways, it's also a sign of how first world society has fucked itself over by breeding imaginationless, unproductive, unfeeling, spineless, craven, and yet arrogant, bitter, spiteful, and malicious dumbfucks whose only method of creativity is to make fun of other people's works pushed out in the modern day, but praise and jerk off to anything that is a "classic", much not unlike pretentious poser art gallery exhibition faggots that influence current day thoughts on societal artistic discourse and direction. We already have plenty of other people who do that, and they're usually employed by the local newspaper (and even then they get no recognition, thank fucking goodness).

Through ad-libbing words on that of the RedLetterMedia article:

   
 
When future generations sift through the smoldering rubble of postmodern America, they would do well to locate a hard drive with <internet reviewer> content on it. They could study <internet reviewer> and, with that thin slice of information, fully understand what it is that killed western civilization.

<internet reviewer> are bitter, cynical nihilists. They have devoted their lives, the prime years of productivity, to pithily lampooning cultural ephemera and implying "we could do better than these idiot <creators of entertainment>, but we're too cool to actually try."

They are every strain of societal AIDS melded together into a super AIDS of cultural death...

Well into middle age, they're still obsessively analyzing <entertainment media/genre/demographic>. They're childless, unmarried, stubbornly avoiding an actual profession, opting instead to beg for Patreon donations. They are subsisting on the patronage of even more embittered, more lonely, more cynical losers who need virtual friends to swim in their vast Petri dish of misery with them.

Look in their fucking eyes, man. It's a joyless, pointless existence they're living.

They are so afraid of sincerity or honest artistic effort that they'll leave behind hours of footage of them chuckling about <creator of stuff who is questionable/good/left mixed opinions/flat out bad but still has a career>. They are artistic cowards and abject failures in every respect.

Each time you catch a glimpse of them, you're reminded that we peaked as a civilization a long time ago. We're done creating. We're done feeling real emotions. All we can do now is analyze, criticize, and ironically pick through the dessicated corpse of our once great nation.

Encyclopedia Dramatica hopes on the day that footage is uncovered by future archaeologists, they resolve to never repeat the mistakes we made.
 


 
 

Origins

Mystery Science Theater 3000

2006 - The Angry Video Game Nerd

The Fall - That Guy With the Glasses

List of Internet Reviewers

Internet Reviewing is part of a series on YouTube.

Visit the YouTube Portal