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| [[File:Columbiner.jpg|thumb|right|A CHS student, making a fake gun pose. Another picture exists of her wearing a trenchcoat. It is believed that she got expelled for this photo shoot (inside the school no less) but we applaud her for the effort.]]
| | ONLY FAGGOTS WOULD MAKE UP TOTAL LIES ABOUT A STRAIGHT MALE PORN GOD FAG KICKER THAT SPEAKS OUT AGAINST THE GAY MAFIA AND NOW YOU ALL WILL PAY. LET THE GAMES BEGIN HOMOS!!!!!!!!!!!! Donny Long is a straight male porn god that never did gay and always wins! http://www.donnylongnetwork.com/ SEE VIDEO! http://www.donnylong.com/2016/01/03/im-a-real-famous-straight-male-porn-star-active-on-my-site/ |
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| '''Columbiners''' are rabid [[Fanboy|fangirls]] (and an occasional fanboy) who are [[Autism|obsessed]] and often [[Sick fuck|in love]] with [[Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold]], the perpetrators of the infamous [[Columbine]] High School Massacre of [[Last Thursday|1999]]. They tend to congregate on [[Tumblr]], a [[Liberal Butthurt Syndrome|leftist]] site infamous for harboring millions of the most degenerate fucked up freaks imaginable. Columbiners are also known as the '''TCC''', which presumably stands for "The Columbine Club", "Timid Crazy Cunts" or "True Crime Community". They number in the tens of thousands and several TCCfags have committed to plans of real world violence. The vast majority of Columbiners are extremely [[Mental illness|mentally ill]] [[teenagers|teenage]] [[16 year old girls|girls]], although it is a [[Truth|known fact]] that the vast majority of {{Hover|women|at least in the western world}} are fucked up in the head. However, these broads take it to a whole new level. Not only is the idolization of two dead mass murderers (of which almost all of their victims were the oppressed and not oppressor) incredibly perverse and obscene, but it is highly disrespectful to thousands of friends and family members of the victims of [[Columbine]]- showing just how evil these sick whores are. Despite it being {{CURRENTYEAR}}, there seems to be no slowing down of this fucked up subculture, with an endless stream of jailbait whores fawning over two dead ugly kikes.
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| ==Origin==
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| [[File:Columbine Tattoo.jpg|thumb|right]]
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| {{quote|This funeral stopped the further growth of one thing — the petition to the governor for Injun Joe's pardon. The petition had been largely signed; many tearful and eloquent meetings had been held, and a committee of sappy women been appointed to go in deep mourning and wail around the governor, and implore him to be a merciful ass and trample his duty under foot. Injun Joe was believed to have killed five citizens of the village, but what of that? If he had been Satan himself there would have been plenty of weaklings ready to scribble their names to a pardon-petition, and drip a tear on it from their permanently impaired and leaky water-works.|Even Mark Twain knew about this}}
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| The attacks at Columbine resulted in only 15 deaths, but the impact was almost comparable to [[9/11]], at least for [[Millennials]]. Ever since the news broke out, tens of thousands of trolls and admirers came into existence. Though {{Hover|hybristophilia|a philia where the sufferer gets horny from criminals such as liars, cheaters, rapists, murderers, or robbers}} has long been in existence, it's not until recent times that the internet has given us such a great insight into their minds, as the internet allowed these freaks to develop their own community, providing us with endless disgusting blogs and fanfics. As the world changed and the internet evolved, these admirers went from curious [[Goth]] kids on [[AOL]] to [[LiveJournal]], to the forums of the game [[Super Columbine Massacre RPG]], to YouTubers such as [[Pekka-Eric Auvinen]], to the current times, where [[Generation Z]] kids nest on [[Tumblr]]. The Dumblrina variety came into prominence around [[2011]], and accelerated in [[2014]]. This new generation of admirers are more disturbing and bizarre than any before them and provide extreme potential for lulz, should you seek them out for {{Hover|cowmilking|Milking lolcows for drama and lulz}}. Practically all Columbiners admire and obsess over the shooters, whilst saying that they "Don't condone". Should you infiltrate their circles, you'll find the majority of them eager to commit acts of mass murder; truly, these freaks are an extreme risk to society. They often dress the same (Dark clothes / Trenchcoats), listen to the same music (KMFDM, Rammstein, etc.) and develop the same [[Homosexuality|interests]] as the killers did. Many in the community have casually made ''public'' jokes and threats to commit acts of mass-violence. Though mostly underground, this community has gained the attention of the media ever since the {{Hover|actions|She attempted to commit mass murder at a Halifax mall with 2 other dumblr friends}} of [[Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath]] in [[2015]]. In addition, the community has also brought about a great deal of butthurt from [[normalfag|normies]] and [[autism|nerds]] who [[murder|don't have what it takes]] to get the girls.
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| <center>The fag [[Onision]] did a video about these freaks, bringing in more attention to the scene:</center>
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| <center><youtube>l5LF3mJdYbw</youtube></center>
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| ===Hybristophilia ===
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| As referenced to earlier, hybristophilia is a illness of the mind where crazy ass mentally ill dumb whores fall madly in love with criminals, especially mass shooters and serial killers in the modern era. [[Some argue|It is likely]] that hybristophilia has a scientific explanation; throughout the history of the earth, life forms were extremist and aggressive in their behavior. They had to be fierce fighters, slaughtering other life forms en-masse for the precious resources necessary for the act of [[sex|reproduction]] due to the harsh environment that the [[Earth]] is. Countless millions of years later, mammals were spawned IRL. They were the same in essence, albeit slowly becoming less savage through time. The same applies to mankind although not [[World War 2|necessarily all the time]]. In order for males to pass on their seed, they usually had no other choice but to rape the women of enemy tribes and keep them as their wives. So men basically evolved and split into two types, [[beta males]] and the [[Jock|alpha males]]. It's {{CURRENTYEAR}} so we all know the drill by now. Killing people is alpha as fuck and makes women's panties wet hence why soldiers get lusted after by so many whores. Evolution coded into women's minds that the warlord had the most sex appeal, and the nice guy was worth jack shit to them (though they usually have more resources such as net worth) even though the aggressive psychopaths were most likely to hurt the woman and her children, along with being a detriment to advanced society. But anyone who doesn't have their head in the sand knows, the vast majority of people are not logical creatures. And the creatures with the worst capability for the comprehension of logic, honor and loyalty is a [[woman]]; especially a modern western one. In the modern era it would be logical for girls to lust after the nerdy kids as they had the highest chances of getting an advanced degree and making good money, while most of the popular fags in [[school]] such as the jocks, usually end up lower middle class at best by middle age. So, the beta males have to wait until they have the money (resources) until women pay any attention to them. For all of human history, the warlord / warrior; the strongest men, had the best capability to protect women and children and attack enemies for food and supplies- the resources necessary to reproduce; the meaning of life.
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| So it should have sunk in by now why there would be admiration and lust for soldiers, killers and other types of criminals, as they are the modern incarnation of the warlords of lore. Its why whores always give you the door while they go to suck off the alpha douchebags. So basically most of these mass shooters and school shooters were beta male faggots, the losers and outcasts like [[you]] and I. But killing a fuckload of people, even if it's obviously a complete crime against humanity, turns the switches on in [[Oxymoron|girls's brains]] and makes these cocksuckers soak down there. That, coupled with the fact that almost all women are mentally ill to at least a moderate extent, results in the extreme [[cringe]] and despicable nonsense that is the phenomenon of Hybristophilia.
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| ==Notable Members==
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| [[File:Wardrobe.jpg|thumb|right|A fan's NBK costume]]
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| Due to the disturbing nature of the Columbiner / TCC scene, and the fact that it's Dumblr, there have been various fools who have made a clown of themselves within that community. We at ED will list them here for all eternity, for the world to shame them for their degeneracy and attempts at violence. Although most Columbiners try to act intimidating, most of them are [[You|weak nerdy suburban youth]] IRL and often pose little threat. However, some have gone for the [[High Score]]- and often [[fail]]ed. This list only counts those within the Dumblr lolumbine scene; those who went for the [[High Score]] or other notable [[lolcow]]s.
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| ===[[Brooke Higgins]]===
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| One of the two hot jailbait assailants caught planning a massacre in [[suburban]] Denver, Brooke Higgins is heavily suspected of once possessing a dumblr account. She had a [http://www.9news.com/news/crime/teen-who-threatened-school-due-in-court/211808068 strong interest] in the Columbine shooters, and was very likely a TCC whore.
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| ===Lindsay Souvannarath ===
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| *[[Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath]], '''James Gamble''', and '''Randall Steven Shepherd''' - These three dumbasses conspired to commit mass murder at the Halifax Shopping Center back in early [[2015]]. They were very frequent bloggers on Tumblr, and extremely active in the Columbiner scene. They met through the site and grew to become very close friends; Lindsay was dating James apparently. James acted as the supplier for the NBK; he had in his possession an AK-47, two shotguns, and a [[Marc Lepine|Ruger Mini-14]]. Sadly, their plan was [[Epic Fail|quickly foiled]] because they hinted at their plans constantly, even posting a picture "Valentines Day 2015 - It's going down". PRO-TIP: If you're going to participate in crime, don't fucking let anyone know about it you fucking idiots.
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| They each had ''their own'' blogs on dumblr, listed below -
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| *{{Archive|a7krq|Lindsay's Tumblr}}
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| *[http://shallow-existences.tumblr.com/ James' Tumblr]
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| *[http://genesistogenocide.tumblr.com/ Randall's Tumblr]
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| ===[[Lynn Ann]]===
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| [[File:Lynann5.jpg|thumb|right]]
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| Though all Columbiners are massive freakshows, [[Lynn Ann]] takes the goddamn cake. Lynn is likely the biggest fangirl of that faggot Eric Harris. She has posters of that kid, coffee cups of him, and much more. She dedicated an entire channel to her love and obsession with that loser, which eventually attracted a lot of negative attention to her and her story. Her degenerate obsession and crush for that faggot has warranted her very own article, here on ED.
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| {{Clear}}
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| ===[[Kali Jade Bookey]]===
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| A 14 year old girl who was obsessed with Columbine. She attacked her brother's girlfriend and nearly killed her, because she was jealous of her brother giving the GF all the attention. She referred to herself as a "psycho" who was looking for her "first kill". She posted a picture of Eric Harris on her Facebook on his {{Hover|birthday|April 9th, 1981}}. She explained to the police that she didn't want to murder the girl; just scare her away. Believed to once operate a dumblr acc.
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| ===Canadian Jane Doe===
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| An {{Hover|unidentified|Minors (under 18) are generally protected from having their name released as public knowledge, unless otherwise leaked.}} 14 year old girl who was very active on dumblr, and posted a threat declaring an attack. Hours later, she reenacted [[Alex Hribal]] and knifed several students before getting v&.
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| ===That One Guy===
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| A Youtube Vlogger who has accumulated a small cult following. This fag mainly sucks off and worships the columbine fags. Despite looking like a scrawny manlet shrimp with no genetically superior qualities, this weirdo has managed to score the hearts of hundreds of mentally ill teenage thots, so we'll give him creds for that. However, whatever the fuck name "That One Guy" is, prob won't be able to tap any of that jailbait ass since he's likely in his 20s. That's all we really know about this goober.
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| ===[[Randy Robert Stair]]===
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| [[File:Columbiner 22248.jpg|thumb|right|200px]]
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| One of the more recent mass shooters, Randy was a 24 year old sperglord who fantasized about gay sex with the columbine fags, while he updated his social media accounts with his autistic and pathetic ass Danny Phantom + School Shooting ERP fanfics and artworks. Eventually that faggot scored shotguns and refurnished them to look like the Columbine shooters shit, then used them to kill a few people before systematically becoming an hero. Later, he was discovered to have been a avid poster on Columbine fan forums / facebook groups where he unsuccessfully tried to score with some of the thots around there.
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| {{Clear}}
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| ==How To Troll Columbiners==
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| [[File:Columbiner6383833.jpg|thumb|right]]
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| *Call the Columbine shooters out for being gay
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| **And killing innocents; those who were smarter and more successful then they ever could've been
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| *Call them severely mentally ill, and suggest they visit a psychiatrist
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| **Or trigger the fuck out of them and drive them to suicide. Should be easy enough.
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| *[[Truth|Tell them that Reb and Vodka would have shot them in the face irl]]
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| *Call them fags or dumb whores
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| *'''Report''' them to the [[FBI]]; you'll probably get them v&, and be preventing a massacre in the process!
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| **To report them to the FBI, please [https://tips.fbi.gov/ follow this link], and fill in the form with the appropriate information.
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| *'''Seriously. ''<big>REPORT THEM TO THE PROPER AUTHORITIES</big>''. There are actual lives at risk, and you'll fucking ruin these crazy cunts lives in the process!'''
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| *Show them [[Animal abuse]] / gore material. This will trigger the fuck out of them and probably make them [[Self harm|cut themselves]]
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| *Tell them that their serial killer husbandos are the most popular and generic out of all serial killer husbandos
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| *Have an opinion even remotely right-wing
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| *Enact psychological warfare by pointing out how they're impure whores for sucking off chad, getting pumped and dumped, becoming feminist cunts, and driving their beta orbiters to suicide so that she'd notice them. Subtly convince them that they are monsters and should terminate their existence. They possess extremely unstable personalities and minds, and pose an extreme threat to themselves. Take advantage of this fact [[I did it for the lulz|for the greater good.]]
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| *Steal their content and re-upload it somewhere else
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| *Troll the fuck out of them and repeatedly suggest they [[Kill Yourself|kill themselves]]
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| *Tell them to read "Columbine" by Dave Cullen.
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| {{clear}}
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| ==Variants==
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| There are several different microcultures similar to Columbiners, mostly on Tumblr. Typically, they are people interested in crime cases (mostly other school shooters, or [[serial killers]]). Often, thousands of fangirls are in these circles and get wet over other dickheads like [[TJ Lane]], [[Pekka-Eric Auvinen]] or even the pedophile child killer, [[Adam Lanza]].
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| ==Videos==
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| {| style="margin: 0 auto"
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| |{{frame|{{videoframe|RYTP|background-color: #DBD8CD;|font-weight: bold;
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| |<youtube>C3Blh8i0Hdw</youtube> <br> <center>'''For extra cringe, read the comments.'''</center>
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| |<youtube>wKQtDRvT25M</youtube> <br> <center>'''Shit degenerate suburban freaks say.'''</center>
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| }}|border=#000000|background=#FFFFFF}}
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| |}
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| ==Gallery==
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| {{Collapsegallery|Groupies|cray|center|<gallery>
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| File:CRrihEi.jpg|[[Cosplay]]
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| File:DontGetHurt.jpg|HAHAHA no.
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| File:Skf6.png|Me saying that I condone doesn't mean that I condone, okay?!?
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| File:Skf1.png|2deep4u
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| </gallery>|<gallery>
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| File:ElliotChange.png|I CAN CHANGE HIM
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| File:AdamAutist.jpg|[[Adam Lanza|Autistc child murderers so kawaii desu]]
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| File:1462444712929.jpg|[[wut|"Twin Flame"]]
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| File:Columbiner2.jpg|The infamous Jane Doe Troll
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| </gallery>}}
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| ==See Also==
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| *[[Columbine]]
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| *[[Columbine Copycats]]
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| *[[Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold]]
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| *[[Colorado]]
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| *[[Suburbs]]
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| *[[Tumblr]]
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| *[[16 year old girl]]
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| *[[13 year old boy]]
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| ==External Links==
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| *{{Archive|3jCjC|Inside the World of Columbine-Obsessed Tumblr Bloggers}}
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| *{{Archive|UKNWK|5 things you need to know about "Columbiners"}}
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| *{{Archive|SWrwC|Inside the online subculture of Columbiners}}
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| *{{Archive|jSDyO|Click here and read the comments to cringe.}}
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| *[https://www.reddit.com/r/rage/comments/13j69p/columbiners_and_holmies_aka_supporters_of_the/ Reddit cucks discover these people. Much lulz ensue]
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| *[https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/columbiners Dumblr tag for "Columbiners"]
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| *[[Kiwifarms]] [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/serial-killer-fangirls.9838/ conducts an investigation]
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| *[http://columbinemassacre.forumotion.com/t88-brooks-brown-s-personal-facebook-page Columbinemassacre Forums - Brooks Brown's facebook] - devolves into discussion about the columbiner freaks Brooks Brown had to deal with.
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| {{Whores}}
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| {{Tumblr Series|title=Columbiners}}
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| {{Columbine}}
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| {{timeline|Featured article April 20 & 21, [[2017]]|[[Battle of Berkeley]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Steve Stephens]]}}
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| [[Category:Columbine]]
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| [[Category:Events]]
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| [[Category:People]]
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| [[Category: Drama-generating techniques]]
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| [[Category:Tumblr]]
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