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Cum: Difference between revisions

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[[File:Semen balloons.gif|200px|right]]


{{corner|[[File:SpoogeAnimated.gif|176px]]}}
'''Cum''' is a slang term indicating either the act of ejaculating or the slippery by-products of said act. Recent scientific breakthroughs have uncovered that cumming is twice as good when it is the end product of [[rape]]. Especially if the 'rape victim' gets pregnant and bonus if the offspring looks like you so it can remind the rapee of that wonderful night.
In persons with [[cock]], the verb (To Cum/Ejaculate) refers to the overtly obvious ''twitch n' spurt.'' For people who don't want to become [[pregnant]] and hate having to use [[condoms]], pulling out before you cum is a reliable method of birth control, and there is a [[Fact|100%]] chance that you have avoided becoming a parent. For [[you]], this occurs about ten seconds before you close your browser window and cry yourself to sleep. Or, get all [[butthurt]] because you blew your load right when the camera panned to a dude's face.
==Semen==
[[Image:Niggerfacial.jpg|thumb|Cum is an excellent source of nutrients.]]
'''Semen''', also known as High Fructose Porn Syrup, is a white-ish liquid that ejaculates from a male [[penis]] when stimulated. Following this, a man is generally exhausted and fulfilled making him easily malleable to the manipulative will of his partner. Often an excellent time for a woman to ask for money.
The nutritional value of semen largely equates to that of egg whites, therefore it is a high-protein and low-carb food ideal for the [[prostitute|woman on-the-go]]. It is powered by 2-5 milligrams of fructose per 1 milliliter of sticky cum. The average ejaculation, or serving size, is about a tablespoon which equals about fifteen calories. This can vary by man, and ejaculatory conditions.
==A Woman's Best Friend==
[[File:Cinnabun earrings.jpg|thumb|right|Guess how the "icing" was made.]]
It often believed that women don't like semen. This is a gross misconception as the adjoining photo shows. Any woman who refuses to swallow is most likely a whiny, shallow, money-grubbing ice princess, self-empowered [[BitingBeaver|feminist]] who has a [[Tumblr]], or if you're lucky simply a [[whore|Succubus]] out to drag your mortal body into the bowels of [[hell]] to burn for all eternity.
*'''Ladies take note!''' It is an established fact that there is no greater sign of love than a woman who gulps down her man's hot, creamy load.
*'''On a diet?''' Semen is 15 calories per average "serving"!  Now, if you chose to burn off those calories with a bit of effort at the time, I'm sure that wouldn't be a problem.
*'''Need extra oomph?''' [[klarawagner|Klara Wagner]] enjoys several healthy helpings of semen every day and swears by its energizing powers.
*'''Can't get enough of the good stuff?''' Ask a man if you can suck his [[sausage]] and chances are he'll happily oblige.
==Female Ejaculation==
{{main|Squirting}}
Women can have orgasms too, but they are much less obvious since there is no external ejaculation. No, not really. In reality, women do not have orgasms at all. If your girlfriend, wife, or rape victim tells you that she had an orgasm, she is lying. In the entire history of the human race, not a single woman has ever had an orgasm. Female orgasms are a myth and a lie created to make men feel better about their "sexual skills" in hopes that feeding a man's ego will result in him buying more stuff for them and rubbing their feet more often.
==Gallery==
{{cg||Cumgallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Jap cum bath.gif|Imagine the smell...
Image:jizztini.jpg|Cum makes for a [[Jizztini|delicious cocktail]]
Image:Cockwaffle.jpg|All [[furries]] eat cum for breakfast.
Image:Lost sperm.jpg
Image:Skittles.gif|Some people ejaculate Skittles
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Cumpro.gif
Image:Semen-collector.jpg|A device for collecting semen
Image:Bigcumshot.gif|Cum in action
Image:Ejaculation.gif|Cum like the best.
Image:happywoman.jpg
File:God Tier Cum.jpg
Image:Spermy.jpg|Where to apply semen
Image:Unicum.jpg|In the [[USA]], semen is drunk as a liquor
Image:Mastsriusly3.jpg|THE PIPES, THEY CAN'T HANDLE IT CAPTAIN!
Image:Splurge.jpg|[[DO NOT WANT |Cum where it's supposed to be]].
Image:Facial Regret.jpg|An unenthusiastic cum target.
Image:Claudia-thorn-bukkake.JPG|[[Dorian Thorn|Claudia Thorn]] enjoys wearing complete strangers' cum.
Image:TheGamingGoose.jpg|DO NOT WANT!!!
Image:Dicksleeves.jpg
Image:Lady J facepainter.jpg|this Lady J photo of a cum tribute is a good example of face painting.
Image:Cumdump.jpg| Ass rape aftermath
Image:Drip.jpg | RIP, [[Erik Rhodes]]
Image: Cum_fountain.gif|An ungrateful fag wasting his lunch.
Image:Titphonesex.gif
Image:Tunnelvision.gif
Image:Bukkake03.jpg
Image:Ejaculate_Blood.gif‎|How it's done.
Image:Porn-gif-amateur-facial-cumshot-1.gif
Image:Spermies.jpg|Now in candy form.
Image:Wonkasplooge.gif|Willy [[Wanker|Wonka]] sneaks one up on unsuspecting child and mother.
Image:Femalecockmongler.jpg|The fruits of your labor.
Image:CreamyCumCrepes.jpg|You can cook with semen as well!
Image:Sunscreen.gif
Image:Sperm-egg.jpg|What sperm looks like [[IRL]]. Since they look like [[frog|tadpoles]], this is sure to arouse the [[furfag]]s who extend their fetish to non-mammals.
Image:Cum_-_Come_At_Me_Bro.jpg
Image:Cum_-_Computer_Sperm.jpg
Image:Cum_-_Super_Sperm.jpg
Image:Cum_-_Cock_Yogurt.jpg
File:Cumshotattack.gif|How to properly greet a lady.
Image:Cumbag.jpg
Image:Bathinginmale-tears.jpg|Water is more cleaner for bathing than my [[Male tears]] just sayin'
Image:MaleTearsBreakfast.jpg|Part of a nutritious [[bukkake|breakfast]] that [[cumdumpster|every woman]] needs!
Image:Batheinmaletears.png| A [[bukkake|Male tears bathing]] enthusiast
Image:Cumshots in mouth.gif|How to properly dispose of cum.
File:Oozinator.gif
Image:cum gag.gif|A [[Whore|young, aspiring actress]] learns the hard way about [[Nigger|African American]] cum.
</gallery>}}
==Videos==
<center><youtube>4pXfHLUlZf4</youtube></center>
==See Also==
[[Image:1915_1608_Hilton-Paris-120703-400-lo.jpg|thumb|Semen, [[Paris Hilton]]'s favorite drink]]
*[[Fap]]
*[[I Came]]
*[[Jizztini]]
*[[Male Tears]] - What feminists call cum
*People Who Love Cum
**[[Britney Spears]]
**[[Dakota Fanning]]'s belly button
**[[CumOnPrintedPics.Com]]
**[[Dorian Thorn]]
**[[Faggots]]
**[[Paris Hilton]]
**[[Miley Cyrus]]
**[[Male tears]] [[Jezebel|drinking]] and [[Jessica Valenti|bathing]] [[SJW|aficionados]]
**[[Your mom]]
**[[You]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Cum collector]]
*[[Face-painter]]
*[[Bukkake]]
*[[The Money Shot]]
*[[Bukkake Milk]]
==External Links==
*[http://www.cookingwithcum.com/ Cooking With Cum] Looking for that extra something in your crepes? A whole book dedicated to the fine art of cooking with semen
*[http://www.dontspitswallow.com/ Don't Spit, Swallow!] - Swallowing hints, advice, and tips.
*[http://ejacu.com/ejaculation/001.html Ejaculation Pictures] - Free archive of different types of semen expressions and emissions.
*[http://advancedmasturbation.com/ejaculation/01.html Masturbation Ejaculation Techniques] - Different ways to shoot semen with facts, instructions, and pictures.
*[[Wikipedia:Cummingtonite]] Cumming rocks
*[http://www.beautifulagony.com/feck_subaff/redirect.php?id=f981d7a4 Come faces]
*[http://www.spermfortickets.com/ Sperm for music festival tickets? it's more common than you think]
*[http://forum.ebaumsworld.com/showthread.php?t=147697 Great ideas for disposing of manmilk]
*[http://www.wowomg.com Website to make you cum]
*[http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/natural-harvest---a-collection-of-semen-based-recipes/4956212 How to cook with cum]
*[http://www.freedonr.com/sdcatalog.html Here's an entire CATALOG of sperm donors to choose from!]
{{Sex}}
{{food}}
[[Category:Sex]]

Revision as of 07:33, 1 November 2018