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| [[Image:Nutrients.jpg|thumb|[[Sperm]]atozoa: recommended by the U.S. Surgeon General's office.]]
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| '''Food''' is what you eat when vaginas and cocks are no longer available. Eating food is [[America]]'s favorite pastime as it gives [[fat]] people their blubber. Enemy of [[16 year old girls]] and [[Breatharian|breatharians]] alike; food is vital to existence, without it we'd die. Some people eat [[Fat|too much]], others [[Pro-Ana|not enough]], regardless, all food eventually becomes [[poop]].
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| == History ==
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| Once upon a time, food was healthy. People blissfully ate burgers and steak, and followed it up with deep-fried lard for dessert. Then, in 1972, [[scientist]]s screwed everything up by reporting that unless you want to spend your thirty-fifth birthday [[HNNNNNNGGGGG|clutching your chest]] and turning [[Avatar (movie)|blue]], you better live on [[Vegan|tofu]] and wheatgrass juice. The [[Fat|American]] populace responded by giving the [[scientist]]s the finger and becoming the most obese nation on Earth.
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| == On the internet ==
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| [[File:MesaPivirotto.png|right|185px|thumb|That's what happens to your food when you piss offs your waitress]]
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| Because most internet-users are fat pieces of shit who can't look at [[porn]] while in work/school, thousands of [[website]]s, [[blog]]s and [[forum]]s exist for the purpose of discussing food.
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|
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| * [http://www.peta.org/ PETA] Suggests people subsist on their own secretions. Staffed entirely by [[furries]], they are constantly monitored by the [[FBI]] who suspects them of plotting violent assault on [[hamster]] ranchers.
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|
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| * [http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/?Media=PlayFlash Alcoholics Anonymous] Falsely claims that it is impossible to survive on malt whiskey and [[beer]], something the [[Irish]] disprove every day.
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| * [http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/tows_past_20011004_c.jhtml Oprah's Hit List of Pro-anorexia sites] Sites that angered [[Oprah]] by announcing all food is the work of the [[devil]]. Sites contain helpful tips on sport vomiting, passing out, and calorie counts for oxygen. Oprah suggests we [[strike]] back by eating those with [[anorexia]].
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| * [http://www.atkins.com/ Atkins Center] Caused great rejoicing among all peoples when it announced the healthiest diet was twelve pounds of beef a day but no toast.
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| * [http://www.atkinsdietalert.org/ Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine] Jealous quack killjoys who say Atkins is a [[liar]] and that we should take out big fat life insurance policies on our loved ones if they are on his diet.
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| {{clear}}
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| == JewTubes ==
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| <center><youtube>N8CDV5IAIYc</youtube>
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| Kimberly Champion from Portland, OR is a champion of cakefarts
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|
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| == Galleries ==
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|
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| === [[Meat]] ===
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| {{cg|Not for vegan pussies.|dick|center|<gallery perrow="5">
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| File:Food lesbians.PNG|What the fuck is the point of that?!?!?
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| File:Penis Hot Dog.jpg
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| File:chicken_fuck.jpg|An appropriate use for food
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| File:A_VERY_SPLENDID_PICTURE.jpg|Some delicious [[German]] sausage.
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| File:Dinner.jpg|Bird Food
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| </gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
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| File:Ghetto Thanksgiving.jpg|[[Ghetto]] [[Thanksgiving]]
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| File:Earbite.jpeg|Ears are delicious
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| File:Head_Food.jpg
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| File:Mexicanmeal.jpg|Everyone loves [[Mexican]] food!
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| File:Burger king stacker.jpg|It's the [[American]] way, bitch!
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| File:KFC Double Down Footlong.JPG
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| File:Turtlesoup.JPG|Turtle Soup is part of Shredder's balanced diet
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| File:Mrbrains.jpg|Typical foreign food
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| File:Taiwan.jpg|Human cock is also food
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| File:Bite-dick blood.jpg|[[Cock|Not food]] except in [[:File:Taiwan.jpg|Taiwan]] or if you're [[Armin Meiwes]].
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| File:Eat dick.jpg|In [[Asia]], animal cock is food.
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| File:Tysongrill.jpg|Mike Tyson's well advertised grill. He often uses the catchphrase "I'm so proud of it, I put my name on it!"
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| File:Computer_parts.jpg|Some people even like to mix food with their favorite pastime. Or maybe it was just a dell that over heated
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| File:Best Friends Forever.jpg
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| File:Boobs-n-bacon.jpg|Food can be practical too.
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| File:Food guro.jpg
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| File:Face meat.jpg
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| File:You are what you eat.png
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| File:Popeye Meat Market.gif
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| File:Crazy-burger-girl.jpg
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| File:Bieber meat.jpg
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| File:Flushing 56 Chicken Nuggets.gif
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| File:Meat46txt.JPG
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| File:MCChiken1.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Mc_Chicken_Sandwich.jpg
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| File:Ketchupwiener.jpg
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| File:Cock_-_Pan_Cooked.jpg|Well seasoned meat.
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| File:LOL_Cats_-_General_-_Hot_Dogs.jpg
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| File:Oh_that's_not_good.jpg
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| File:Cockenthrice.jpg
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| File:Grocery_Gross_Chicken_Feet.jpg|Chicken Feet
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| File:Grocery_Gross_Dog_Heads.jpg|Dog Heads
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| File:Grocery_Gross_Calf_Brains.jpg|Cow Brains
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| File:Grocery_Gross_Cow_Eyes.jpg|Cow Eyes
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| File:Grocery_Gross_Penis.jpg|Cow Dick
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| File:Grocery_Gross_Testicles.jpg|Cow Balls
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| File:Grocery_Gross_Tongue.jpg|Cow Tongue
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| File:Grocery_Gross_Tuna_Eye.jpg|Tuna Eye
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| File:Grocery_Gross_Water_Bugs.jpg|Water Bugs
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| </gallery>}}<br>
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|
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| === Candy And Sweets ===
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|
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| {{cg|Candy and other fattening shit.|sugar|center|<gallery perrow="5">
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| File:Candypenis.gif
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| File:Ass Suckers.jpg
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| File:Concealed Miracle Whip.gif|Spread generously...
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| File:Pastry Nigger.jpg
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| File:Pastry vagina.jpg
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| </gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
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| File:Peepshow.jpg
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| File:Equal Rights for all Peeps.jpg
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| File:Zombie Peeps.jpg
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| File:My peeps.png
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| File:How to eat a pop tart.png
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| File:Sugar Land.gif
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| File:Theater food.png
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| File:Twizzlers whip.jpg
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| File:Ice Cream.PNG
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| File:Candy grenade.jpg
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| File:Vending machine.gif
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| File:Cupcakeandtear.jpg
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| File:Bold.jpg|Food thief
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| File:Scares the ice cream.png
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| File:ChocolateCreamEclair.jpg|[[LOLDONGS|LOLCLAIR]]
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| File:Snickers.jpg
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| File:Jellybeans.jpg
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| File:Manly Flavor Jelly Beans.jpg
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| File:Honest candy.jpg
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| File:Fetish - Cheesy Puffs.jpg
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| File:Australian popsicle called gaytime - you can't have one on your own..jpg|No [[Lemon Party]]'s complete without this tasty treat
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| File:Go-Gurt.jpg
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| File:Cupcake porn.jpg
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| File:Reese's peanut butter cups porn.jpg
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| File:Niggerhead.jpg|[[Nigger|festive]] cake.
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| File:Cupcakes, No Cupcakes.jpeg
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| File:Food_-_Thanks_Black_Licorice.jpg
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| File:Food_-_I_Will_Fuck_Em_All_Up.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Don't_Burn_That_Popcorn.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Failed_Jelly_Belly_Flavors.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Butter.jpg
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| File:Twinkie blowjob.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Donut_Burgers.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Cadbury_Dairy_Milk_Glass.gif
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| File:Food_-_Ass_Cream_Cake.jpg
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| File:Food_&_Cthulhu_-_Old_One.jpg
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| File:Food_Desserts_1.jpg
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| File:Food_Desserts_2.jpg|Cheesecake filled strawberries
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| File:Banana Icecream.jpg
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| </gallery>}}<br>
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|
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| === [[Fruit]]s and [[Vegan|Vegetables]] ===
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|
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| {{cg|Healthy shit.|ick|center|<gallery perrow="5">
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| File:Hentai Vegetable Holder.jpg
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| File:Carrot hentai.jpg
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| File:Vitamin a facial.gif
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| File:Banana penis.jpg
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| File:Banana flasher.jpg
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| </gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
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| File:Pineapple-wont-nurse.jpg|Pineapple is good
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| File:Strawberry smoothie.gif
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| File:Cannibal Broccoli.PNG
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| File:Seductive banana.PNG
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| File:Call me orange.jpg
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| File:Cauliflower.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Eww_It_Smells_Real_Bad.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Hellery.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Broccoli.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Strawberry_Kitten.jpg
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| File:Sexy-fruits-and-vegetables.jpg
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| File:Richardsimmons yummy.jpg
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| File:MatrixBanana.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Fruit_-_Strawberry_Surprise.jpg|SURPRISE! :D
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| File:StrawBEARy.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Banana_Suicide.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Curved_Yellow_Fruit.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Fruit_Dramaz.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Gelatinous_Mutant_Coconut.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Banana_Rule_34.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Long_Yellow_Things.jpg
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| File:Food_&_Fuck_The_Police_-_Orange_Attachments.jpg
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| File:Alien_-_Alien_Salad_-_01.jpg
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| File:Alien_-_Alien_Salad_-_02.jpg
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| File:Watermelon_bird.jpg
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| File:Broculiflower.JPG
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| File:Broculiflower2.jpg
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| File:Prankeapple.gif
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| File:MadRaisin.jpg
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| File:Butt_Berry.jpg
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| </gallery>}}<br>
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|
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| === Classic Cooking ===
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|
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| {{cg|Everything comes in a loaf!|vomits|center|<gallery perrow="5">
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| File:Classic_Cooking_Atora_Steak_Puddings.jpg|Atora Steak Puddings
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| File:Classic_Cooking_Baked_Stuffed_Salmon.jpg|Baked Stuffed Salmon
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| File:Classic_Cooking_Banana_Candle.jpg|"[[Dick|Banana]]" Candle
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| File:Classic_Cooking_Frosted_Ribbon_Loaf.jpg|Frosted Ribbon Loaf
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| File:Classic_Cooking_Frozen_Cheese_Salad.jpg|Frozen Cheese Salad
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| </gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
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| File:Chikkin and ham.png|Chicken and Ham on a spit
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| File:Classic_Cooking_Ham_And_Bananas_Hollandaise.jpg|Ham And Bananas Hollandaise
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| File:Classic_Cooking_I_Dont_Even_Know.jpg|I don't even know... ಠ_ಠ
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| File:Classic_Cooking_Jellied_Tomato_Refresher.jpg|Jellied Tomato Refresher
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| File:Classic_Cooking_Lime_Cheese_Salad.jpg|Lime Cheese Salad
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| File:Classic_Cooking_Liver_Sausage_Pineapple.jpg|Liver Sausage Pineapple
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| File:Classic_Cooking_Monterey_Souffle_Salad.jpg|Monterey Soufflé Salad
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| File:Classic_Cooking_Perfection_Salad.jpg|Perfection Salad
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| File:Classic_Cooking_Shrimp_Sandwich_Roll.jpg|Shrimp Sandwich Roll
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| File:Classic_Cooking_Spam_n_Limas.jpg|Spam 'n' Limas
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| File:Classic_Cooking_Tuna_And_Jello_Pie.jpg|Tuna And Jell-o Pie
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| </gallery>}}<br>
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|
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| === Other Food ===
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|
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| {{cg|Miscellaneous foodses.|shrugs|center|<gallery perrow="5">
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| File:Exploding cereal.gif|{{colortext|red|'''Warning:'''}} [[Cereal]]
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| File:Waffles having sex.gif
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| File:Pancake turntable.gif|This woman went on to invent mixing decks.
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| File:M n ms scat funny.jpg
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| File:Powdered Toast Man Porn.jpg
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| </gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
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| File:Beef rectum.jpg|[[Japan]]ese food.
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| File:Food Village.jpeg
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| File:Sushi porn.jpg
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| File:Eat all the food.gif
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| File:Kid Cuisine.jpg
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| File:Pizza Sundae.jpg
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| File:White vs black food.jpg|There are no [[chikins|KFCs]] in [[Africa]], which is why everyone there is [[anorexic|starving]]
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| File:Human_Feces.jpg|This passes as food for niggers
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| File:Saltines.png|Jewish coasters.
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| File:Food_-_Cereal_Pouring.jpg
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| File:Cat bread.jpg|A loaf is fine too...
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| File:Fuck this diet coke.gif
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| File:Campbell's soup instructions.jpg
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| File:Condiment Bottle.gif
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| File:And a diet coke.jpg
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| File:Pointing dick at old man.jpg|How to get free food at McDonald's.
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| File:Dededepackage6.jpg|Food is served on a plate, and people often [[King Dedede Drooling While Eating|drool as they eat]]
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| File:Tree_of_life.PNG|The USDA Food Pyramid
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| File:Pepsi_-_Pepsi_Generation.png|Pepsi Generation
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| File:Food_-_Tic_Tac_Faces.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Today's_Special.jpg
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| File:Tasty ass crackers.jpg
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| File:Happy Dorito.jpg
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| File:How to eat a dorito.png
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| File:How to eat a taco.png
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| File:I don't wanna taco 'bout it.jpg
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| File:How to eat pizza.png
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| File:Men are like Coke.jpg
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| File:Toilet Cheerios.gif
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| File:Cheating weenie.jpg
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| File:Wanted Nachos.jpeg
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| File:Lucky Charms.jpg
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| File:Nemo_Sushi.jpg|Found Him!
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| File:Killer_Biscuits_.jpg|Murderous Biscuits
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| File:OnARoll.jpg
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| File:Bandit.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Bento_-_Alien.jpg
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| File:Creepy crackers.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Printed_French_Fry.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Strange_New_Trend.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Lucky_Charms_Shapes.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Pressure_Cooker_Asplosion.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Soup_For_Sluts.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Toaster_Strudel.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Cereal_-_Cocoa_Puffs.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Cereals.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Eyeball_Egg.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Fries_vs_Ketchup.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Hamburger_Battle.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Puppy_Loaf.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Wup-Ass.jpg
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| File:Food_-_Eyeball.jpg
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| File:PrankWaffle.gif
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| File:Lynne3.gif
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| File:Foodguide.jpg
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| File:Contemporary grocery store.jpg
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| </gallery>}}<br>
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| </center>
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|
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| == Where To Obtain Food ==
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| [[File:Food retard.jpg|right|300px]]
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| * [[Burger King]]
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| * [[KFC]] – if you're a nigger.
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| * [[Kitchen]] – if you still reside with [[your mom]], you pathetic fuck.
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| * [[McDonald's]] – if you're a [[fat|ty]]
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| * [[Taco Bell]] – if you're a [[basement dweller]].
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| * [[Subway]] – if you're an overly effeminent pedophilic [[faggot]] named [[Jared Fogle|Jared]].
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|
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| == See Also ==
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|
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| [[File:Bread.jpg|thumb|Loaf in the toilet.]]
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|
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| *[[ck/|/ck/]]
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| *[[Eating disorder]]
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| *[[Food Pyramid]]
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| *[[Food Not Bombs]]
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| *[[Fat]]
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| *[[Fauxlimia]]
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| *[[Haribo® Sugarless Gummy Bears]]
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| *[[Pro-Ana]]
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| {{foods}}
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| {{life}}
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|
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| [[Category:Food and Drink| ]]
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