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Revision as of 02:13, 16 April 2011

Average CF_Hardcore member.

Sometimes simply hating children isn't enough. Sometimes, you have to go that extra mile and actually want to see small children, infants, toddlers, and elementary schoolers tortured, molested, maimed, butchered, and slaughtered en masse. If you are one of those people, cf_hardcore is for you.

The Birth of CF_Hardcore

the_13th_muse giving parenting advice
the_13th_muse demonstrating her two favortie things. Eating and not getting pregnant.

CF_hardcore was born out of the Childfree LJ community when member the_13th_muse could not stand the fact that a woman was going to give birth to a human baby and then give the baby up for adoption. the_13th_muse gave her these points to ponder when considering the filthy idea of breeding:

  • "a. Are you willing to risk your marriage and relationship with your husband, no matter how unlikely such an event seems."
    • (Because men immediately abandon their wives if they find out they are pregnant.)
  • "b. (Are you) Willing to actually be a mother should you change your mind later on."
    • (Because evil, Satan-provided hormones may fool a woman into caring for her baby.)
  • "c. (Are you) Ready to explain to this child 20 years down the road what happened when it comes looking for you. Can you tell it to it's face that you simply didn't want anything to do with it."
    • (Kill it now, so it cannot ask bothersome questions later.)
  • "d.(Are you) Willing to risk death in childbirth for a child you do not intend to keep."
    • (Be afraid. Be very afraid.)
  • "e.(Are you) Willing to have your body changed *forever* by becomeing a woman who has born a child."
    • (Most important of all, consider your waistline)

When other members of Childfree pointed out that this was, in fact, the insane gibbering of a lunatic, the_13th_muse then took her ball and went home. Saddened by her leaving, fellow members said: "Good riddance. Have fun pushing your new bitches around!"

You can't keep the truly XxHaRdC0rExX childfree down for long though. Joining forces with the batshit insane Goescrunch, CF_Hardcore was born. In a way, CF_Hardcore is the child of Childfree.

The Few, The Proud, The Flame Resistant

Britney commissioned this statue specifically to piss off the CF_Hardcore community.

Introducing the Childless Freak Hardcore!

CF_Hardcore was designed in a darwinian sense to weed out the weak and leave the strong. It is FLAME RESISTANT! The moderators endeavor to show how tough the comm is by...

  • Disabling anonymous comments
  • Allowing only members to post
  • Locking entries that are embarrassing to the community

...Which raises the question, how tough do you have to be when you are protected from any criticism at all? Sociologists are currently applying for grants to study this phenomena.

Interestingly, five of the seven moderators of cf_hardcore (goescrunch, ladybast [who has long since resigned due to the lunacy of the rest of them], silverxfeathers, madmravyn, and firefira) have friends only journals. If you're a new member, though, friends-only journals are a no-no. They're only allowed for the old-money childfreetards. More evidence of their ability to squash trolls and resist flames.

CF_Hardcore today

This is what makes CF_Hardcore members cream their shorts.

These days, CF_hardcore has devolved into a H8-fest that rivals the KKK, the only difference being that instead of hating blacks and Jews, CF_hardcore members are mighty enough to hate the one class of people that can not possibly defend themselves in any way, the under 13. Having a membership made up almost completely of 16 year old girls and 13 year old boys indicates that most of these members are not too far out from being H8ed themselves. It raises interesting psychological questions about self hatred, but trust us - that's just the beginning. Once you hop in and realise that the membership consists of Goths, Furries, Otherkin, Fat girls and boys, and multiple combinations thereof, you know that you are in a strange place for normal humans. You might also wonder why a comm that is supposed to be about the childfree lifestyle contains posts about nothing other than children. No mention of jetskis, lear jets, Italian sports cars, mansions, stadiums or any of the other awesome things that cf_hardcore members have bought with all the money they saved by not having children. Instead, every single post is about the thing they allegedly hate more than anything on earth, children.

CF_hardcore members spend a lot of time discussing topics such as how cool it is to swear in front of toddlers and bragging about being too ugly to fuck.

The Great Harry Potter Meltdown of 2005

In July of 2005, CF_hardcore member railway went apeshit. Rather than try to describe it, We will simply quote her verbatim. This post was locked by cf_hardcore, once again proving their flaming retardedness.


 
 
RANT TIME

Harry Potter book release: don't worry, no spoilers.

Showed up at seven, in full costume for a nine am release. Devoted no? I was one of the few to dress up, and I was the best-dressed. I'm not being vain, I honestly had the most detailed and accurate costume there.

We were told in line, that the best-dressed person in line gets to open the box and have the first Half-Blood Prince book. So, I'm a shoo-in, aren't I?

WRONG.

Fucking moo brings her bratty sprog in at 8:59am dressed in a generic Kmart cape with stars and glitter and fucking gaudy BLAH. Twig for a wand.

OMG WITTLE PWESHUS SO CUTE OMG YOU CAN OPEN THE BOX AND HAVE THIS BOOK YOU CAN'T READ AND *fawning fawning, blatant breederism etc*

THE FUCKING KID WON'T EVEN REMEMBER THIS. THE BOX OPENING WAS MINE. MIIIIINE.

I wouldn't have minded if someone had said "Oh look Sass, you are best-dressed but would you mind if this land-mine amputee opened the box instead?" I would have said "Absolutely no problem. Go for it." But no. FUCKING CROTCHDROPPING GETS THE HONOUR. I'm furious. On principle of course, not out of any sense of entitlement. Well yes, entitlement also. But I WORKED FOR IT, I DESERVED IT.

I made an effort. I spent money making an effort. I showed up early. I will remember and treasure this event for ever and eternity. And I'm passed over for an ugly little brat with a sparkly tie. Woo fucking woo.

I didn't stab her in the eye with my wand. I WANTED to. I talked about doing so VERY FUCKING LOUDLY. I was going to eviscerate her mother with the cover of my brand-new copy.

I fucking hate breeders and child-lovers. FUCKING GO TO HELL.

I'm so pissed about this, sorry. It's just that in ten years time, this kid won't remember what she was doing on July 16th 2005. In ten years time, I will be remembering how I was deprived of this nerdly honor by an opportunistic twat breeder and her shitling. I'm hurt. All my life, nothing has gotten to me more than being deliberately ignored, or passed over. Honestly; that's the sort of thing that can make me cry in public. Or key your car. Or viciously murder you and your family in the heat of frustration and never-ending denial Congratulations breeders, you win.

Edited to add: To all of you who are calling me immature etc, I'd like to add that you make a very good point, but have you considered GO FUCK YOURSELF? If you're so anal-retentive, go back to the other community and go on with your breeder-humping. Also, to the person who submitted this to fandom_wank, I seriously (no sarcasm) thank you. I've always wanted to be there!
 


 

—Completely unedited, sadly.


This particular bit of insanity made the rounds of the internets for a while, and has now reached the status of old meme: It is however still hilarious.

Philanthropy for Misanthropy

Hundreds of hardcore childfree people cut themselves when they saw this photo. Please, don't think of the children!

Over the course of 2005, neverahappyday counted up kid-hating comments over the past few months and donated toys to children's charities for each. When she dropped the drama bomb on cf_hardcore, the community as a whole reacted first by offendedly bitching, moaning and whining that they weren't whining, moaning, bitching or offended, and then demonstrated how not-offended they were by deleting the entry and not only banning her, but also banned 001 for daring to suggest she might not be entirely incorrect!

The (Go Into) Labor Day Deletion of 2006

For reasons yet to be disclosed, CF_hardcore was deleted sometime on Labor Day, September 4, 2006. This happened shortly after one member went batshit over her inabilty to purchase more yaoi. The community has reportedly been deleted and undeleted at a spastic rate during this period of time.

A secondary community called cf_hardcore_wf, or Wank-Free Childfree Hardcore, has been established as a temporary home until the cf_hardcore moderators stop acting like spoiled children. Since all the cf_hardcore regulars have been acting like spoiled children since the community's inception, this is unlikely ever to happen.

Summary

CF_hardcore is one of the most insanely drama-laden communities on livejournal. It is regularly featured on LJ_Drama, which makes everyone happy.

External Links

CF_hardcore wanks about fandom wank.

CF_hardcore has a Patrick Henry moment.

CF Hardcore is part of a series on

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