Fort Worth, TX

Try your hand at the fountain of Death

The Stockyards, just a bunch of shit, no seriously.

Fort Worthless is a city near Dallas that is growing massively due to an influx of yuppies. It houses such things as mundane shopping centers, that one ethnic mall, and an abundance of strip malls with white Republicans in them. In March of 2000 an F2 tornado fucked up downtown Fort Worth so badly that many of the buildings had plywood on them for months. This was to truly give the city that authentic "Texan feel" of poor white trash.

Attractions

Lee Harvey Oswald Shrine — Oswald is buried in, and attended high school (Arlington Heights High School (Ironically, not in Arlington)) in Fort Worth. No shit.

The Stockyards: Besides the streams of Mexicans there's other attractions like The Stockyards. A minature-ish town which used to be a... stockyard for cattle. You can go there today and go to saloons and listen to Willie Nelson but it's not worth the cow crap in the streets. Not even the paddleboat themed Spaghetti Warehouse can erase those memories away.

The Water Gardens: The water gardens are 5 interconnected water sculptures in the middle of downtown. One is a running wall of water, one is a pool where all the hobos sleep at, and the most famed one is the giant step water garden which consists of a ton of giant rocks that lead to a pool. The problem is is that at the bottom of this pool is a giant pump which churns out the water. For some sadistic reason there's no railings, signs, or obstacles which prevent you from possibly drowning in it. Mexicans like to play Ghetto Roulette and see if their toddlers don't slip off of the sides and fall into the pump. People die alot there. A bunch of tourists on a church trip from Georgia came and thought they could swim in it and well... 4 people died. LOL PWND

Sunset Boulevard: A strip of a bunch of tourist traps and people in cowboy hats that think they're ravers.

Fort Worth Zoo: Cool place to go and kicks the crap outta the Dallas zoo. If you don't mind Mexican people harassing you the flamingos are worth a look.

Bass Hall: There's 2 huge ass giant angels that are sculpted on the side of the Fort Worth Opera House called the Bass Hall. If you want to break your neck or see God, here's your chance.

Carswell Air Force Base: Now known as "Kotex® Feminine Protection Joint Reserve Naval Guard Air Navy Base" it was once the home of the only thermonuclear armed bomber wing in the US, on Memorial day at least 100 years ago a tornado came through and whiped out half of the only nuclear armed bomber wing in the US. Over the years it was the site of the only flight of a bomber equipped with a nuclear reactor onboard (Which may explain the insanity of the local population), and the site of the crash of a B-36 Peacemaker.

People of Fort Worth

People who live in Fort Worth and the surrounding areas occupy their time with shopping, going to other places, driving, getting online, and more shopping. The entire city is actually a large mall owned and operated by massive corporations. Fort Worth's people go to its zoo, botanic gardens, and several noteworthy art museums, but these are all confined to a single area known as the "Cultural District" that is surrounded by pavement and...you guessed it...more strip malls.

The favorite pastime of Fort Worth's youth is getting completely wasted, driving around aimlessly, and cowtipping on the edge of town. There is nothing to do in Fort Worth after 9 PM, as the city shuts down completely and people get ready to go to church the next morning, regardless of the day of the week (even the teenagers who have been out drinking all night - they're still good Christians).

Neighborhoods of Fort Worth

Fort Worth has several neighborhoods worth mentioning. The worst part of town is undoubtedly the Stop 6 area. You will know you've entered Stop 6 when the street names resemble "A Street," "B Street," "MLK Street," "Malcom X Street," "Booker T Washington Street," "Wesley Snipes Street," etc. You had better watch your back here. People have been known to fall off the face of the earth forever while travelling in this neighborhood in broad daylight. This is the main black neighborhood, but since it is Fort Worth, there is also a fuckton of mexicans, resulting in a sort of race war between the two. The rest of the city hopes that they will eventually wipe each other out.

The Seminary area is completely Mexican. They have the Fiesta Foodmarket where the Mexicans shop. They don't speak English in this part of town, so don't even bother trying to get directions here unless you're fluent in Spanish. Also, the seminary itself has a 50% student population of people from the good Korea, who also don't speak any english, but instead of yelling at you in spanish, these guys just smile really big and make a motion like laughing, but no sound comes out. It's really creepy.

The Northside is also almost completely Mexican the rest are Asians who think they are either Black or Mexican

The West Side of Fort Worth (Hulen area, etc) is full of white people and more shopping. Central Market is here (that's where the vegetarians go to buy their food), and across from the street from that is Mr. Oswald's High School. You can find TCU in West Fort Worth. But as you go further west, in a little strip wedged between White Settlement and piece-of-shit Benbrook, is a little land that was good about twenty years ago. Now, being overrun by niggers moving into duplexes that appeared OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE, all the good business are running away scared, and are movin' on up north to White Settlement.

White Settlement (West side also)- Small white town on the western edge of Fort Worth, will be Ground Zero for the upcoming race war across America.

H-E-B (Hurst/Euless/Bedford) is a complete waste of space. Nothing here but malls and urban sprawl.

Arlington (actually a separate city) — College town with commuter "college" nobody's ever heard of, UTA (University of Transient AZNs). Osama's personal secretary once lived & attended mosque here. Largest city in America with no public transportation of any kind, thx to smelly old fart voters who consistently vote down every proposed transit system in a desperate effort to keep the Negro Menace at bay. LOL TOO LATE!!! Fighting to keep few remaining racist Euro-American homeowners from moving to zombie-filled white-flight suburb Mansfield; doesn't realize that attempt is made of fail and tits. Bad News: city's burgeoning mojado population feeling its power will attempt to take over city within five years. Good News: genetically-enhanced mutant Vietnamese taking over, will run city in ten years anyway no matter how many Mexicans there are. Also known for Sex Flags/Hurrican Harbor minority combat facility, a big-league ballpark (named "the Ballpark" by imaginative Arlington citizens) (now known as the Fleet® Disposable Enema Ballpark) that is home to the big-league Texas Rangers (the Haiti of Major League Baseball). Nextdoor to the Ballpark is the new Dallas Cowboys stadium, also known as the Hellmouth, which was built on the site of a former neighborhood full of po' white trash that the city seized and bulldozed at the request of Arkansas gasman Jerry Jones Antoinette, the Cowboys' owner.

Everywhere else - Suburbia filled with pointless subdivisions.

Sports

• TCU Horned Frogs - One of many teams who went undefeated and got screwed by the BCS. The school is run by the same hippie Christian sect that spawned Jim Jones.
• Texas Motor Speedway - Home to biannual NASCAR confederate flag celebrations.
• A CAT IS FINE TOO
• [1]Fort Worth/Texas Brahmas- Proof that White People can't resist trolling Hindus by naming a shitty hockey team after one of their gods.

Weather

A Fort Worthian's favorite pasttime besides shopping is to sit around and watch "meteorologists" try to guess the weather.

They are never right.

There are two qualifications for being a "meteorologist" in Fort Worth:

1. You must have completed 2 years of elementary school and know the Mexican language; and
2. You must be a fucktard.

There is no more unpredictable weather than in Dallas/Fort Worth. The general rule of thumb is:

• Hot as fuck in the summer, cold in the winter.

"Cold" in local terminology means an average of 60 degrees. There have been claims of snow in Fort Worth, but those were made by communists who hate our freedom DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS:

Signs that Hell hath surely frozen over:

• Snow? In MY Fort Worthless?
  Snow? In MY Fort Worthless?
• Even rednecks can't resist making snow angels.
  Even rednecks can't resist making snow angels.

See Also

• Mexico
• English is not my native language
• Ghetto
• Dallas
• Houston
• Gays
• Hot
• Crap
• Texas

External Links

• White trash philosophy