Sassia

Success

Amazingly her triumph was near total. For the first half of 2008 she managed to sink her tendrils deep into #london. With constant references to fapping and other such unladylike activities she effectively rendered the most common topic of her conversation her vagina. Her malevolent influence left no corner of the channel untouched, with multiple ops becoming overwhelmed by the desire to stick it in her. To fuel this flame she released numerous photos that demonstrated her sole talent: cam whore angling. The channel was largely duped, with the vast majority of its male users (i.e. the vast majority of its users) declaring do want.

A few #londoners saw past her sham and flamed her hard, finding out her sensitivity over topics such as the cervix and exploiting them ruthlessly, but the sway which she had over the op team led to this being largely drowned out in a sea of butthurt op abuse.

Thus began a dark era in #london's history, known as the Reign of Blubber

Downfall

Unfortunately the whale's power could last only as long as her long-promised trip to London in order to see Wise Beard Man. Once she was sighted in real life (from a distance of thirty miles or so) it became clear that she was not the fine looker which she had selectively depicted herself as. Indeed she was instead a hideous hog-beast, who nobody save a South African or Williz would touch.

Protip: Fuck man I'd not go near that whale. - Williz

Another Protip: Dude, I did not harpoon Shamu... - HelfiX

This resulted in leviathan doses of butthurt for all those duped by the photographic trickery, but also opened an opportunity for the long-time hatred holders towards the fat whore to strike.

One anon realised that the moment was right: those formerly interested in the wench carnally were now disgusted at themselves and her and resentful. Those who had always hated her were on the warpath. Accordingly he responded in the only rational fashion available: Stalinism.

A pastebin outlining Sassia's crimes was crafted, filled with facefagging demotivators and fed to #london. The result was a drama filled shit-storm that engulfed the channel for around a week. Also, lulz.

Copypasta

THE DENUNCIATION

Comrades! The path towards further epicness and lulz for our channel is a simple one, which consists firstly and quite simply of purging that cancerous growth identified either as "Sassia" or "Sassy" from our ranks forever.

Why her? it might well be asked. Firstly there is the matter of legitimacy. #london is a channel for London Anonymous, while Sassia is not only increasingly facefagged; but also not a Londoner. This is not a major concern in itself: we even have ops from Liverpool and Byker Grove; but the distinction is that all other non-Londoners have either contributed in win or else just lurked. However when combined with Sassy's lack of input on effectively every front matters become more substantial. She has brought little to this channel save bait for her egomania and as such is both not a London and not a contributer to anything of worth. When the others arrive from their own cities it is a pleasure and they provide win, when she arrives she wandered off with her phone switched off and kept out of contact for at least four hours in order to attention whore further.

Secondly she has seemingly little interest in Chanology. She has attended a small number of raids but never expressed immense interest in our efforts. Indeed at the last raid she spent all of the TCR protest in the pub. This is entirely acceptable in cases such as Lolitastic, who is present in #london but in opposition to Chanology. This is because he unleashes his own twisted and lulzy plans and has an established (if mistaken) reason that he will not involve himself in our efforts against Scientology. The same is not true of Sassia over either point.

So what are we left with? A non-Londoner who is borderline non-Chanology. This is what she is not. What she is is very fucking annoying.

Instead of contributing to the flourishing channel she uses it as her playtoy, extracting as much attention from possible and seemingly never pleased until discussion has moved to centre around her. Towards this end she crafted a small number of photographs that somehow made her grotesque form seem alluring; and thus enticed the more gullible male members of the channel into attending to her constant need for notice. This seems to be her only talent and her persistent attention whoring has left the channel constantly derailed and distracted, their focus often slipping entirely to hone in upon a worthless wench rather than anything of a constructive or lulzy nature. Worse still she obtained allies within the ops team and throughout the channel, who defended her to the hilt in order to get a chance of hilting inside her. The amount of op abuse aimed at those bringing attention to her activities was heavy.

Her power over the channel has waned after her appearance in the flesh world, as it became apparent that rather than the sultry Scot she presented herself as she was in fact a fugly beached whale, with thighs thicker than the average chest. But does this mean that we should take pity? That we should wait until her tendrils have surrounded a few new fags? Until she has newly rooted herself once again in the unsuspected and easily fooled? No! We must seize this opportunity and strike now, when the minimum drama fall-out possible will ensue. There will come no other time as ideal.

To summarise, I suggest we purge this threat to our channel's win NOW before she can entrench herself once again.

Triumph Over The Whore

02* Sassy ([email protected]) Quit (Z:lined ("[Sassy is a] overweight pink haired floozy" - Wirah's Mum

Aftermath

All those who were too fucktarded to block the fugly whale continue to be flooded with whining and fail. The bans upon facefagging and namefagging were overturned and when the last Sassia loyalist op dissented he was promptly /killed.

A celebration ensued until midnight, when a ban on mentioning her was put into place and entirely ignored for the next half week.

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