Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin is an unfunny stand up comedian. He is known for making one liners on his guitar. Demetri Martin is notable amongst other comedians for not making jokes about media shit, poking at his race, stealing all his jokes or being dead.

Becoming a Comedian

Demetri claimed he was the funny guy in college. Without realizing that everyone in law school is an unfunny jew and so it's not hard to be funnier then them, Demetri decided to drop out of law school and become a comedian.

Demetri then became a broke, divorced, unemployed, loser until he decided to tell the world about his pathetic life in a stand up show called If I

Notice how the audience was hardly laughing.

Demetri then became writer for Conan O'Brien and The Daily Show. After deciding that being a writer for hit TV shows was undermining his talent. Demetri quit both of those jobs thinking he could make it on his own as a writer and comedian which evidently turned out to be bullshit.

Failures

Demetri made Important Things With Demetri Martin on Comedy Central. After 2 seasons of lame skits and terrible stand up comedy, Comedy Central canceled the show. Demetri then signed a deal with CBS to write and star in his own show, but they canceled the show before it even aired it's pilot. In a last attempt to keep himself in the media Demetri tried to enter the movie industry. Except he only got one or two scenes in a bunch of shitty films.

Such shitty films include:

Post-Grad He was in it for about a minute and a half

Take Me Home Tonight He sat in a wheelchair and said "fuck". That's it.

He did end up getting a lead role in Taking Woodstock in which he played a gay stoner. The problem was, nobody like the movie. It ended up being a box office bomb making less then half of the budget it required to make.

Demetri just finished writing a book, realizing that he is not funny if people have to look and hear him. The book is also a failure thus proving that Demetri can't succeed in anything.