JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

The creator of JoJo's, Hirohiko Araki at age 84.

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is a mango created by some Azn named Hirohiko Araki because he had nothing better to do sometime in the 1980s. This series is famous for Dio Brando. JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is Shounen Jump's second longest-running manga ever, and because it is the origin of two memes, it is the only good animu to have ever been created. No exceptions.

Plot

An average scene in JoJo’s.

There are seven storyline arcs in JoJo's, because Araki has ADHD. These arcs are:

• Phantom Blood
• Battle Tendency
• Stardust Crusaders
• Diamond is Unbreakable
• Vento Aureo
• Stone Ocean
• Steel Ball Run

The main plot of JoJo's in each arc is basically a descendant of the Joestar bloodline pissing off Dio in some manner. No, really. The plots of each arc are basically about pissing off:

• Vampire Dio
• Vampires LIKE Dio
• Moar Vampire Dio
• People with supar powers because of vampire Dio
• Vampire Dio's son
• Father Bootylicious (Dio's bff) and one of Vampire Dio's bones.
• Dinosaur Dio

At the end of pissing everybody off, the JoJo of the arc usually dies, or has babies. Or both. Nobody really cares about any of the arcs other than Stardust Crusaders, because life doesn't get any better than vampires that can stop time and drop fucking steamrollers on people.

Characters

All the characters are well-designed and realistic. The protagonist of each arc always has the term "Jo" somewhere in his/her name twice. Other characters are generally named after singers or bands, Italian food, or fashion companies. Sooner or later, they're going to be named them after memes. Sometimes though, Araki decides to be a normal Azn and make their names Japanese. The main characters for each arc are as follows:

Father Pucci's Father Bootylicious's stand, C-Moon.

• Jonathan Joestar - Basically the OP of all the JoJos. No one cares about him because he got pwned by Dio.
• Robert E.O. Speedwagon - Once threw a hat at Johnathan and became his BFF after Johnathan beats the shit out of him. Later on, all he really does for the rest of the series is shit himself when something scary happens. Araki then subsequently trolls the audience in every other installment of the series by murdering a Speedwagon descendant in each of them.
• Dio Brando - The first troll in the series. He one day decides to troll Johnathan until he gets trolled himself. Since he doesn't want to appear butthurt, he turns himself into a vampire and trolls the Joestar family even after he's dead. Unfortunately, faggots are diluting his badassness by using "WRYYYY" as much as they quote Family Guy.
• Joseph Joestar - Usually regarded by fans as the rough equivalent of Chuck Norris. Reappears again in the 3rd and 4th series as an old faggot with a stand that lets him tentacle rape. He is also well known for having the power of predicting what other people are about to say.
• Jotaro Kujo - The Jojo who started the whole trend with stands in his arc. He's supposedly 17 when he's first introduced in the 3rd arc, but apparently looks like he's in his 30s, and every series he reappears in afterwards, he looks younger. Fangirls often make up fanart and/or fanfics about him having sex with his buttbuddy, Kakyoin. Kills Dio with a Falcon Punch at the end of the 3rd series. His stand is a blue she-male called Star Platinum that can fist at the speed of light.
• Josuke Higashikata - Elvis Presley wannabe (his hair is a fucking pompadour) with money instincts of a Jew, which makes him the coolest JoJo out of all. He is apparently known for flipping the shit on anyone who makes fun of his ridiculous hair. His stand can fix shit and is also the biggest pussy because he's the only Jojo who doesn't have the balls to actually kill anyone. Though to be fair, he did turn someone that pissed him off into a living toilet, which counts for something I guess.
• Giorno Giovanna - Dio's bastard child, which let him inherit some of Dio's win. Started out looking like a typical azn, but as he grew stronger, his hair turned yellow and his eyes became blue. His first stand was a weak piss-yellow bitch that did nothing but grow trees, but after it got stabbed by a magical arrow it gained the ability to divide by zero.
• Jolyne Kujo - Was starred as the main heroine in the 6th series as a short break from the meat train of male JoJos, but due to his faggotry, Araki drew her like a man. Her stand is made of silly string.
• Johnny Joestar/Gyro Zeppeli Imagine Johnathan and Will from the first Jojo and make them 10 times gayer. Nobody gives a fuck about Johhny, he's a cripple who shoots his nails at people. And Gyro is a gay cowboy. Obviously these two were created after Araki watched Brokeback Mountain one too many times.

Stands

Stands are the physical manifestation of whatever super power each JoJo's character has. They first appeared in part three, and were named based on color and any given tarot card. Later Araki got fucking lazy and decided to name them after songs/bands. It can be noted that Araki is lazy and every final boss has a stand with some sort of time ability. At least 80% of these make no fucking sense without a tl;dr explanation. The most recent involves speeding up time so fucking fast the universe resets. In the meanwhile, living things don't get sped up, leading to getting pwnd by things as simple as automatic doors.

Pictures

Gallery About missing Pics

• 
  Oh, part six takes place in Florida. This is Annui, discussing with Weather Report the lack of Disney characters in the Disney guidebook.
• 
  Diavolo, the menacing villain from part five, with some dude's foot in his crotch (Risotto's).
• 
  Dio Brando making his trademark sound.
• 
  The protagonist from part four. What's sad is that the weirdest part of this picture is his hair.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• Dio with Bridget.
  Dio with Bridget.
• Rule 63
  Rule 63
• 
  I'm not sure if this is regular guro or necrophilia, really.
• 
  Kira with his girlfriend.
• 
  JESUS CHRIST IT'S A COCK
• 
  Just for the lulz.
• 
  The mafia initiation rites in part five.
• 
  Fuck the speech bubble, look at the fucking epic flat-top.
• 
  Because Risotto is still wearing pants, Doppio is doing it wrong.
• 
  That's actually from the mango. No editing. Seriously.
• 
  Standcest, the Rule 34 of stands and their users, is common.
• 
  Father Bootylicious is one of the only black person in animu.
• 
  Really, do I really have to say anything
• 
  Dio's ultimate form is Raptor Jesus.
• File:Disney jojo.jpg
• Abdul, the party's Arab in the third series, is quite fond of fire.
  Abdul, the party's Arab in the third series, is quite fond of fire.

See Also

• WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
• Za Warudo

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