Guild Wars 2

WTF? Guild Wars 2 is pure nonsense not yet worth lulz archiving. If it isn't written more on topic, it will be deleted. You can help by providing links to websites that discuss this topic or writing more facts. ED provides FACTUAL accounts of interesting, funny, sick, twisted or dramatic things related to the internets. Don't write nonsensical shit nobody cares about. Do write about internets/lulz/drama and things that relate to them. Equivamptalk(Troll me here) 21:28, 9 August 2011 (UTC)

Fantasy MMORPG

Not to be confused with it's shitty predecessor Guild Wars

Introduction

Many, many thursdays ago, in a land called 2007, ArenaNet announced the sequel to the instant hit game Guild Wars. Even though the faggots working over at ArenaNet intended to use the original Guild Wars game engine to encompass the sequel, many were surprised on the release of several trailers in late 2009 on Youtube. Scores of WoWfags cried, and several minutes after watching the CGI animation of epic proportions, You and your friends decided to give it a try.

Here's what happened next.. *SPOILER ALERT*

What happened in 2007

ArenaNet finally called an end to GW1 and made the insanely stupid decision to announce Guild Wars 2 even before it had started developement, which has left most in anticipation for the game in a terribly isolated state for the past four years.

No mainstream info was given out other than the game title itself.

What happened in 2009

No release date yet, maybe it was all a joke like Starcraft Ghost for the sole purpose of lulz.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35BPhT-KI1E

This and many other CGI quality trailers were released this year. This was way back before internal alpha testing - another reason that ArenaNet are master trolls for teasing through PAX and gamescon demo's, and keeping all of the goodies in house.

What happened in 2010

Yet more trailers were published throughout the year - ArenaNet yet again managed to piss the entire future playerbase off by even publishing blogs, occasionally with more mini-teasers at ingame content.

Somehow, we made it through this year. Only 5 more to go.

What happened in 2011

Nothing.. YET.

Guild Wars 2 - FAQ

When will the game be released?
-The instant You lose your virginity.

Is this the WoW-Killer?
-WoW died already, didnt you get the memo.

Do I have the ability to own fellow noobs in the open world for the lulz?
-You couldnt win against a noob at Minecraft. And that isn't even a game, amirite?

When can I give the greedy bastards at NiggaSoft my money?
-When it's ready.

Can I jump?
-Depends, did you delete this yet?

Classes

Because Guild Wars 2 isn't WoW, classes are called professions, and as a result crafting professions such as cotton-picking in guild wars 2 are regarded as nigger traits

Human

A new unoriginal class. Not much information has been released regarding the race - though if you choose a british accent in character creation you will get a bonus racial ability - Riot! - Set fire to random buildings in the vicinity of Lion's Arch for a chance to get free loot, such as but not limited to the following;

-Dragon Long Sword

-The Ashbringer

-"32 LCD Television courtesy of your local electronics store that you broke into last night.

Charr

The dyke furfag's delight a.k.a ManBearPig a.k.a mythical feline on roids

Only the baddest of the badasses can bring themselves to play a race of such caliber, such manly toughness and prestige.

Sylvari

The camwhore class. These native plant elves were originally based on a transmutation of a 3D Bulbasaur and any able-bodied wimminz. The male versions roughly translate to blood elves in WoW.

These are sure to be the most overrated and overplayed race on release. So we ask that You please make a Sylvari so the elite gamers can play a real class.

Norn

Not much is yet known about this class, but we do know that the racials include an instant cast ability to kill 68 people on one 360 no-scope. The male model is loosely based on Anders /b/ Breivik.

The norn, as a result are not to be fucked with. Prepare your anus for some scandinavian ass-whooping.

Asura

The elite-gamer class. Even though the models look like the blue monster from Disney's Lilo and Stitch combined with a 3D render of Stewie Griffin's face, the class on a whole proves to be the badass gnome equivalent (Only this time, with a kick-ass model).