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Krystal: Difference between revisions

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Their result...Starfox Adventures, a game that was marginally fun, albeit reeking of Zelda rip-off, like [[Diaper Boy|a fat-ass fucktard white dude posing as a sumo wrestler with shit seeping from his diaper]]. Giving Fox, the main character, the ability to use a magical staff while jacking off all over mutated dinosaurs wasn't enough for the great Rare. No, not at all. Little did Furries know that they would have something quite new to fap to besides besides the horrid art of [[MicahFennec]]. Possibly due to rumors of Fox being homosexual, Rare decided to throw in a rather scantily clad blue vixen named Krystal, who was obviously [[Nintendo]]'s answer to [[Playstation]]'s Aya Brea, another hot vidyagame female.  
Their result...Starfox Adventures, a game that was marginally fun, albeit reeking of Zelda rip-off, like [[Diaper Boy|a fat-ass fucktard white dude posing as a sumo wrestler with shit seeping from his diaper]]. Giving Fox, the main character, the ability to use a magical staff while jacking off all over mutated dinosaurs wasn't enough for the great Rare. No, not at all. Little did Furries know that they would have something quite new to fap to besides besides the horrid art of [[MicahFennec]]. Possibly due to rumors of Fox being homosexual, Rare decided to throw in a rather scantily clad blue vixen named Krystal, who was obviously [[Nintendo]]'s answer to [[Playstation]]'s Aya Brea, another hot vidyagame female.  


Apparently, due to scientific research involving past [[furry]] game creatures, Rare decided to make Krystal a pseudo-nonplayable character, the brief time spent with her lasting about the first fifteen minutes of the game. This was most likely due to the fact that parents were getting rather frustrated with having to take their children to psychiatric wards and hospitals (due to beatings from fag-fearing parents who occasionally secretly molested their childrens' hamsters) to alleviate the effects of past "supposedly harmless" characters and situations such as Donald Duck in a g-string. Not even the Great Mighty Poo foresaw what an underground sex symbol the blue vixen would become, ultimately leading to gamerfags locking themselves in their basements and worrying their parents when they noticed that their children were neglecting their [[Pikachu]]s with the holes ripped in the ass.
Needless to say, [[furries]] and non-furries everywhere embraced this vixen with both heartfelt and not so heartfelt welcomes, such as an incident at a local Ft. Wayne, IN community college in which a kid's penis was proclaimed to be in critical condition and subsequently dead after a transvestite janitor found him locked in a bathroom stall with a shorted-out laptop. The incident incited a local plea to [[internet]] [[fags]] and the like to spread cheap artwork of the vixen over Google and such sites in hopes of defaming and utterly destroying the game's reputation. The ongoing horror of [[rule 34]], sites such as [http://www.foxxfire.com Foxxfire], only served to make the venture a rather arduous and pointless jaunt.  
 
Needless to say, [[furries]] and non-furries everywhere embraced this vixen with both heartfelt and not so heartfelt welcomes, such as an incident at a local Ft. Wayne, IN community college in which a kid's penis was proclaimed to be in critical condition and subsequently dead after a transvestite janitor found him locked in a bathroom stall with a shorted-out laptop. The incident incited a local plea to [[internet]] [[fags]] and the like to spread cheap artwork of the vixen over Google and such sites in hopes of defaming and utterly destroying the game's reputation. The ongoing horror of [[rule 34]], sites such as [http://www.foxxfire.com Foxxfire], and Rosie O Donnell's panties only served to make the venture a rather arduous and pointless jaunt.
 
To date, a moderate percentage of [[furries]], [[your mom|women over 78 with crusty vaginas]], and 40,000 llamas have been lost to the [[whore]]....


In 2002, the readers of Nintendo Power voted Krystal as the most [[DO NOT WANT|hawt]] Nintendo girl from 2002, proving once again that all Nintendo fans are ten year old [[Asperger's Syndrome|aspies]] and/or [[furry|furfags]]
In 2002, the readers of Nintendo Power voted Krystal as the most [[DO NOT WANT|hawt]] Nintendo girl from 2002, proving once again that all Nintendo fans are ten year old [[Asperger's Syndrome|aspies]] and/or [[furry|furfags]]

Revision as of 06:12, 10 October 2011

DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR LIES

Krystal could refer to:

  1. The character on the game Starfox.
  2. A very popular meme, again of the game Starfox.
  3. Furries in general.

The Beginning Of the End

After succeeding with the redundant rehash of the original Starfox on SNES, Starfox 64, Nintendo decided that their bonerfest shoot 'em up fox needed a complete makeover, as well as a new style that would appeal to more Zelda nerds than ever before.

Their result...Starfox Adventures, a game that was marginally fun, albeit reeking of Zelda rip-off, like a fat-ass fucktard white dude posing as a sumo wrestler with shit seeping from his diaper. Giving Fox, the main character, the ability to use a magical staff while jacking off all over mutated dinosaurs wasn't enough for the great Rare. No, not at all. Little did Furries know that they would have something quite new to fap to besides besides the horrid art of MicahFennec. Possibly due to rumors of Fox being homosexual, Rare decided to throw in a rather scantily clad blue vixen named Krystal, who was obviously Nintendo's answer to Playstation's Aya Brea, another hot vidyagame female.

Needless to say, furries and non-furries everywhere embraced this vixen with both heartfelt and not so heartfelt welcomes, such as an incident at a local Ft. Wayne, IN community college in which a kid's penis was proclaimed to be in critical condition and subsequently dead after a transvestite janitor found him locked in a bathroom stall with a shorted-out laptop. The incident incited a local plea to internet fags and the like to spread cheap artwork of the vixen over Google and such sites in hopes of defaming and utterly destroying the game's reputation. The ongoing horror of rule 34, sites such as Foxxfire, only served to make the venture a rather arduous and pointless jaunt.

In 2002, the readers of Nintendo Power voted Krystal as the most hawt Nintendo girl from 2002, proving once again that all Nintendo fans are ten year old aspies and/or furfags

WHERE THE FUCK IS IT

You probably came to this page hoping to see someone post a nude drawing of Krystal like every other fag who visits this site. April Fools, jackass.

This is a disambiguation page — we hope you feel less ambiguated.
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