Copypasta/Archive 10

<Copypasta

Archive 10

/b/ Is the best it's ever been!

I've been on 4chan since '07 now and before everyone starts screaming 'troll' and 'copypasta' I know that I'm not an oldfag. Oldfags discovered 4chan 2005 and before.

All this 'cancer' and 'lack of original content' is bullshit. /b is the best it's ever been and I'm going to show you why. Firstly, /b/ finally has a good userbase and more coming in every day. We have a diverse and interesting community and everyone seems to fit in and be able to find people they can relate to.

Secondly the original content is fantastic. New memes like Boxxy, Advice dog variations (including regret guy), rage comics and making fun of minorities are funny as hell and represent what /b/ is best at. Copypasta isn't all that bad; it's what makes a meme and most of the time actually inspires new works of art.

Thirdly 4chan finally has the recognition and fame that it deserves. Moot is a well-known name and 4chan has it's own wikipedia page for people to learn about our culture. We've even been on TV. I've even found friends that I've known for ages are actually /b/tards but we didn't know it; and anyone that doesn't know about it I explain to them what 4chan is all about and why they should participate.

I love this place - 4chan is my home away from home and you should love it too.

Peace

Copyrasta

Alright my yout, mi and dis fine gyal decide we waan fi go park, we went pon swing, pon slide, and even have good time a bounce pon teeter-totter. Buoy, it fun mi tell yuh. Been long since we frolic ina park. We sit dung a ground fi have lunch, afta lunch she waan fi go home, so we went to her house fi watch movie and sinting. Mi tell you, the gyal mus be one freak, cause she jump pon my lap and start suck out mi face. After 5 minute the blood clot phone ring and mi answer. One rated man come yell ina mi ear, man was livid! Him say sumthing like 'YO STAR, A WEH YOU A DO WIT MI PICKEY?' Mi just give one sour look pon my girl face and ask a wuh dis man business? Gyal tell me her dad ded, him ina ground, ded, ded, ded. A WHO DI BUMBACLOT DEH PON MY PHONE?

PSP motherfucker, do you have it?

Oh, hey /v/. Don't mind me. I'm just a happy PSP owner.

What? If I'm playing CHRONO CROSS on my PSP? Well, of course I am. What else should I be playing? Some Kirby, Mario or Metriod? Sure, maybe, why not, I can play them as well.

Oh, whats that, DS owners? Tears? Mmm. Tears of jealousy? Tears because you can't play PS1 games or proper enjoy GBA games? Or NES games? Or SNES, Genisis or gameboy games?

Yeah. I feel ya. That's why I created this topic.

Fucking DS pussies. Get a PSP. It's only a matter of time before the PSP can emulate some DS games, anyway.

Have you never played any metrioid game? >PSP with a GBA emulator. 100% flawless.

Whats the fuss about Kirby, Super Mario Bros? >PSP with a GBA emulator. 100% flawless.

Does the Pokemon general threads annoy you, but you still get all nostalgic thinking about Pokemon and how you missed out on all the newer pokemons such as Emerald and Fire Red?

>PSP with a GBA emulator. 100% flawless. Thats right faggots. PSP here, DS is smallcasualtime.

WHAT I REQUIRE FROM A MAN:

1. He must be quiet and unassuming 2. He must be intelligent and have a good standard of education and be able to hold a good conversation on any level with anyone he comes into contact in his daily life. 3. Good mannered in all respects. Notwithstanding this day of equality, I want him to e.g. a. Hold the door for me - Car, particularly if he is taking me out for the night and I have dressed especially for the evening: House door, and make sure I am safely inside. By this he must not be flamboyant in his approach, so that it looks unnatural, but do this as a matter of course as it flows from his upbringing. b. Stand up when a lady enters the room. c. Hold the chair for me at dinner particularly when out at a restaurant. d. See me to the door after a night out and make sure I am safely in. e. Not embarrass me in front of friends, family and neighbours, e.g. shouting to me in the street "well, are you coming in?" and letting everyone know we are having a row. 4. Not to treat me like a sex object 5. Not to treat me like a possession i.e a car, tv, dog etc. 6. Not to take me out just to show off to friends and outsiders "look what I have". 7. Treat me as an equal. 8. He must trust me in all things and not be suspicious of my motives and he must be trustworthy. 9. Not assume that I will always fall in with his plans 10. Talk matters through with me first and consider, and most of all, value my opinions, after all, he should want a partnership. 11. Not to be domineering and have the need to show all and sundry that "I am the man, and I wear the trousers!" 12. He must respect me as a person, intellectually. 13. He must be forgiving. 14. He must be slow to anger. 15. He must love me unreservedly.

WHAT I REQUIRE FROM A WOMAN:

1. She must be quiet and unassuming 2. She must be intelligent and have a good standard of education and be able to hold a good conversation with me. 3. Good mannered in all respects. Notwithstanding this day of equality, I want her to e.g. a. Hold the door for me - Car, particularly if she is taking me out for the night and I have dressed especially for the evening: House door, and make sure I am safely inside. By this she must not be flamboyant in her approach, so that it looks unnatural, but do this as a matter of course as it flows from her upbringing. b. Stand up when anyone enters the room. c. Hold the chair for me at dinner particularly when out at a restaurant. d. Not embarrass me in front of friends, family and neighbours, e.g. talking in public 4. Offer herself as a sex object 5. Let herself be a possession i.e a car, tv, dog etc. 6. Treat me as a better. 8. She must trust me in all things and not be suspicious of my motives and she must be trustworthy. 9. Not assume that I will always fall in with her plans 10. Talk all matters through with me first and consider, and most of all, value my opinions, after all, she should want a marriage. 11. Not to be domineering and have the need to show all and sundry that "I am the woman, and I wear the trousers!" 12. She must respect me as a person, intellectually. 13. She must be forgiving. 14. She must be slow to anger. 15. She must love me unreservedly.

Mario Kart Suicide

Hi. If you were playing under the moniker "f@v!nOu$" on Mario Kart Wii just now, this message is for you. Look, my little sister's cousin committed suicide last night and she was just trying to let off some steam. So you, Action Replay-using fuckwad, think you're so high and mighty? With your fucking "9999" VR and your maxed out character who 'magically' reappears in an instant after falling off the course? You think you're some type of '1337 H@xX0R' with your stupid fucking username and your stupid fucking Mii's face plastered on my over 9000-year-old sister's screen? Fuck off, you stupid excuse of a human being. Yes, you just got the living shit beaten out of you on Mario Kart by a little girl's Luigi on a motorbike. You just got digitally raped by a fucking hairy Italian in a stache. You just lost 100 fucking VR, and trust me: Once I find who you are, I will personally shove pins through your retinas and have you use your tongue as my fucking toilet paper. Consider this a fucking warning.

Pokepasta (warning: this originates from /v/ and thus contains pokeporn. read at your own risk.)

I stood blushing before the Dragonite before me, having noticed his erection beginning to form. I said to him "Dragonite...I-I love you...but are you sure you want this?" He wimpered quietly as he looked down at the ground, feeling remorse for having brought this up in the first place. "No, I didn't mean it like that! I mean...I've wanted this for a while...but I only want to do it if you want to." The Pokemon smiled warmly at me, and I smiled back. He lowered his paw down to my growing member and started to stroke it slowly. I moaned while leaning against his warm chest. I reached down to hold the Pokemon's own cock and started stroking it, making him wince slightly. We began kissing passionately while keeping up our mutual rub. His tounge felt so warm, so soft...it was a wonder I didn't cum right then and there. After a few seconds of this, we broke the kiss. I knelt down to face his erection, looking even larger than before. I licked the tip lightly, noticing that it had a fascinating taste. I wanted more. I closed my lips around the end of the Dragonite's throbbing penis and started sucking. This made the Pokemon howl in pleasure as he held onto my head. I continued to suck while moving his dick farther and farther into my mouth, until I couldn't get in in any deeper. I kept up the sucking motions while using my tounge to mop up the precum that was oozing out of his cock. I decided that it was time. I moved his member about halfway out of my mouth, and picked up the pace of my sucking and licking. Feeling the Dragonite's convulsions and hearing his moans, I moved back to the head while sucking even harder. Soon enough, he let out a loud howl. Cum shot out of his member all around my mouth and down my throat. I swallowed as much as I could and slipped my mouth off his softening dick. An extra spurt of semen splashed all over my face as I looked up at him lovingly. I stood up and kissed him once more. "Dragonite...I love you..." I wispered. He responded by licking some of the cum off my face, and seemed to giggle. He took one paw and gathered the rest of the semen onto it. Laying down on his back, he lifter up his legs to reveal his tight tailhole. He ran a cum-covered digit over it, leaving it moist and ready. I knelt down in front of his ass and looked him in the face. "Dragonite, are you sure? I mean, I've heard it hurts, and I don't want to hurt you just because you think you have to." His eyes seemed to beg me to continue, and he gave a reassuring nod. I said "Okay, but let me know if it hurts too much, and I'll stop, alright?" He smiled and nodded again. I looked as his inviting hole and saw that I had started to leak some precum. Not wanting to waste any more time, I placed the tip of my cock against his tailhole. We both shuddered a bit from the feeling. I pushed in more, and the head of my penis sunk into the Dragonite's asshole. He wimpered lightly, to which I responded by asking if he was ok. He barked positively, and I prepared to continue. I pushed a little harder, and soon half my dick was inside him. Looking up first to see if he was okay, I made one last push. My entire member was now inside him. He moaned, begging me to continue. I started slowly moving in and out of him. The sensation was incredible, unlike anything I had ever experienced before. I gradually began to fuck him faster, and eventually, I began to feel my impending orgasm. I shouted between breaths "D-Dragonite...I'm gonna...cum...ah...AAAAAH!" Then it hit me. That unbelievable feeling of orgasmic peak. I made one final thrust as my cock shot what felt like a quart of semen into the Pokemon's tailhole. After a few more spurts, I collapsed on top of him, exhausted. I slid my member out of him and crawled up to meet his eyes. "Dragonite..." I managed. "That was...incredible..." He sighed lovingly as our lips met once more. After a while of kissing, we fell asleep in each other's arms. I could almost hear him say to me as we fell asleep, "FUCK MAN I know. But hey, do u want to watch TV on ur PC? You'll get all the SKY CHANNELS there is, AND from any country IN THE WORLD, on your pc screen!!!! Go to this website... freetv.*com/PCTV.html (DELETE the *) check it out................its cool, i've got it myself."

My Pokemon Journey

It was my time to become a Pokemon trainer, but Professor Oak had no more Pokemon to give away.
“You came too late Greg,” he said to me. He had given away all of his good Pokemon.
However, I was in luck, because the Pokemon center had just burnt down and all of the Chanseys died, except one.
“Would you like this Chansey, we have no home for him” said Nurse Joy.
“Yes I will take it” I said. I named the Chansey Elton, after Elton John. It was a girl though.
It took to me very well and I liked Elton a lot.
“Goodbye sweetie, you’re going now” said Mom. And I left Pallet Town. But as I was leaving,
“HEY YOU!” called Chase. Chase is a little bitch and nobody likes him.
We battled and he had a Charmander. Elton won by a lot because Chanseys are special sponges.
“I’ll be seeing you again” said Chase, and I told him goodbye.

(4 days later)

We had finally arrived at Pewter city where there’s a museum and a lot more. We heard about the gym leader there but Elton told me that she would have a hard time defeating rocks.
Elton was a pessimist and a very unmotivated battler, somewhat of a nihilist.
I tried to tell Elton that if she keeps acting that way people will call her a pussy.
We went to the Gym and we saw Brock.
“hey”; said Brock. I thought Brock was handsome although I was much too young for him, and a guy.
“let’s battle” said Brock, and he took off his shirt and I got a hard on.
Geodude was much too difficult for Elton and she died really fast. Brock noticed my erection and said “what the hell are you doing kid?” I was jacking off and Elton was KOed.
Brock was noticeably excited and so I gave Brock head and he fingered my asshole and so I wouldn’t go to Officer Jenny he gave me a Boulder badge. Elton was fine after I took her to the pokemon center.

(2 days later)

We were outside of Mt Moon and we saw a Jigglypuff and Elton, being very independent, caught her herself. I named the Jigglypuff Cecilia after that Simon and Garfunkel song.
We ran into Henry, one of the other guys from Pallet Town. He had a Bulbasaur. He saw us near the entrance to Mt Moon and said,
“what are you, the gym leader of fagsville?”
I looked at Elton and Cecilia and he was right, they were both pink and big and round like balls and sometimes they touched and they were really cute.
I said “we are not, that is what you are” but I knew this was not a sensible comeback because he had a Bulbasaur and a Beedrill.
We fought and we lost again and I realized both of my Pokemon suck ass and Elton doesn’t even try to win because she is very busy with very deep existential problems I would never be able to understand.
Henry left and I went to the Pokemon center outside Mt Moon.

(3 days later)

Elton and Cecilia were both KOed and we were about to reach the end of Mt Moon but there were criminals in the way.
“stop there kid what do you think you’re doing messing with team rocket?” a gruntish man called out to me. I told him we meant no trouble but he threw a Pokeball at me that not only nearly broke my arm but also a Koffing came out and was in no mood for this. Elton and Cecilia were both KOed so I picked up a large rock and I threw at the man and he was knocked into a coma, and also bleeding.
I took 300 dollars and a fighting knife from his body and also felt him up a bit. He was only about 24, 5 thick inches soft.
We made it to Cerulean city and I went to the Pokemon center and then I went on a bridge.
There was a challenge going on and I turned it down because I knew Elton would not want to participate and Cecilia is unable to do anything but sing and pound and neither are good for battle.
Eventually we had to fight a small boy with a Ratata and Cecilia grew at least 4 levels and learned Disable.
“things are looking bright” I said to Cecilia. She was ecstatic, but Elton was still very apathetic.
“we are going to be pokemon masters” I told them.

(later that day)

We arrived at a big house and nobody was home except for a Clefairy. Elton caught this as well. I named it Bowie, after David Bowie, because I liked its hair. This one was a boy. It seemed like it didn’t want to be with us, and it also seemed like it had tried to commit suicide, because there were many label-less empty prescription bottles laying around it.
“this clefairy is more than likely brain damaged” I told Elton, who didn’t care.
“tomorrow we can fight another gym leader” I said.
We woke up and the city was loud because its a small town and Bill had disappeared.
Officer Jenny said “he more than likely looked like a pokemon of some sort”
We realized then that Bowie was Bill, but Bowie did not wake up when Elton and Cecilia and I had woken up, because Bowie had overdosed on various anxiety and other prescription medications.
We threw Bowie’s body into the river near Cerulean.
“the gym is closed today because bill is missing” said a man.
We rented a motel room and watched the news about Bill.

(the next morning)

The town was still upset because Bills dead body washed up exactly where we had thrown him in.
“this is life” said a man. “the town must go on”
The gym was opened and Cecilia was very excited to battle and Elton was coming as well.
“i am misty” said a teenage girl in a bikini.
“i know” I said.
“my specialty is the sea. water pokemon are relevant to my interests.” she told me. I noticed that she looked like a little slut, and the three pallet town guys who came here before me probably knocked her up. I knew this because

-flashback to before entering the gym-

Robert, who had a Squirtle said, “hey, long time no see greg. i just ate that bitch out”
And assuming he would insult me I said “i just ate you out” but realized afterward I had no need to comeback.

-the end of the flashback-

Cecilia KOed and Elton gave up.
“you have been defeated” said Misty.
“i killed bill and i can kill you too” I said.
Misty began to scream and I said “give me the fucking cascade badge”
Elton looked very nervous and Misty threw the Cascade badge at us and I said “we need to go quickly, elton”
We ran through a house and as far from Cerulean city as we could.

(4 days later)

We reached Vermillion City but were unmotivated and were also running from the law. It was agreed between Cecilia and I that we needed a vacation, so we wanted to ride on the cruise ship, but we were very poor and so I said to Elton
“you’re a very rare pokemon, elton, so i am selling you for money for tickets on the SS anne”
Elton didn’t object, because Elton is too deep for me to understand. We made 5 thousand from Elton.
“we have a whole adventure ahead of us, cecilia” I said this to her as she stood up by where Rose stood in Titanic. I realized then my feelings for Cecilia transcended what is considered healthy between a trainer and his Pokemon.
I looked at Cecilia standing there singing and then I pushed her off the ship into the sea.
I had no more Pokemon because I had sold Elton and I had pushed Cecilia off of the SS Anne.
I got off the ship and I went another motel.

(the next morning)

I called Professor Oak and I said “my chansey ran away and i have no more pokemon and i need one”
“im out of pokemon, greg, how did you lose your chansey”
I didn’t know what to say so I hung up very fast.
I went to the Pokemart where I bought 6 pokeballs.
“i see you like balls” said an older man in the store. “i like balls myself.”
The older man was using a Machop to build a house. I let him fondle me and jerk me off and I got his Machop. I named the Machop Greg Jr because I was tired of naming my Pokemon after musical references.
“you are my very first pokemon, greg jr” I said to him, as I lied.

“now I can begin my pokemon adventure”

Deep Python is not amused by your faggotry

Alright you shits, listen well and listen good.

I cannot go a single fucking page on /v/ without seeing somebody baaaawwing over the fucking Super Mario 64 eel.

>I HATE HIM BECAUSE HE IS SCARY AND HE IS SCARY
>YOU RUINED MAH CHILDHOOD BAWWW 
>I HATE WATER LEVELS BECAES YOU
>I HAVE A PHOBIA OF WATER AND EELS NOW, PLEASE FEEL SORRY FOR ME CRAAAAAAAAAWLING IIIIIIIIIIN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIN

Well I’m fucking tired of it. You niggers wouldn’t know fear if it fucked you in the ass. Nobody even remembers me, the Deep Python. I bet half the people reading this right now just remembered running out of magic and realizing they were fucked because they didn’t know the seahorse could lead you to Pinnacle Rock a second time. Yeah, that’s right. I was all over the fucking walls while you were still figuring out how to swim as Mikau. I’d eat you within a second, and bye-bye two hearts. You kept on trying to attack my head because that’s what you’d normally do. Sorry bitch, that’s how I get you close to my mouth. Just like I got my own Deep Python close to your mom’s mouth last night. And speaking of night, you were trying to kill me for so long that it passed into night while you were at the bottom of the fucking ocean. Your little seven-year-old ass couldn’t see shit, and you were scared to fucking death because of it. And the worst part of it was, you’d have no idea how many of me you were going to have to kill before you got all the eggs.

In closing, I am the greatest video game eel to ever exist. I am deceptive, numerous, frightening, and powerful. Is your OH SO SCARY Mario 64 eel any of that? No, no it isn’t. So the next time I see someone asspained about that little red dickflap, I will repost this to show them the error of their ways. It will eventually become a common copypasta, being posted everywhere. Then you’ll all remember. Oh yes. You’ll remember.

Peace out faggots. Pic related, it’s me about to open a can of whoopass.

Hentai isn't Bullshit

hey /b/ japanese cumdumpster here. i know, fucked up, right?

so, you think the stuff you see in hentai is bullshit? cause i tell you, these days i find out some are NOT.

so i was getting subway home, right? it was a little late and as our subway is famour for, it was very crowded. and all of sudden i feel a hand crawling up my legs!! it just stop before getting to my skirt and i thought it was just an accident. and then there it go again, this time the hand firmly grips my ass cheek and squeeze!!! i was so mad!!

so i slapped whoever the guy was 's hand away and turned around to give him a glare. so creepy!! he like 20 years older than me, and im 19

i thought he would back off after glare but he put fingers right between my legs, i kind of freeze for moment because that was the most disgusting thing i ever experience

i was so embarassed i couldn't scream. you see, in japan some girls slutty, but for others honor is important. so i just walked away and was tankful the next station was osaka, where i live

really, nothing alike happen to me before. i always think hentai was bullshit was i guess the authors really dont come up with their stories out of nowhere

what do you think i should have done, /b/? im really sad right now, there's no one i can speak my friends would think it so weird so i come and share this with you

"Lossy" mp3s

Hearing the difference now isn't the reason to encode to FLAC. FLAC uses lossless compression, while MP3 is 'lossy'. What this means is that for each year the MP3 sits on your hard drive, it will lose roughly 12kbps, assuming you have SATA - it's about 15kbps on IDE, but only 7kbps on SCSI, due to rotational velocidensity. You don't want to know how much worse it is on CD-ROM or other optical media.

I started collecting MP3s in about 2001, and if I try to play any of the tracks I downloaded back then, even the stuff I grabbed at 320kbps, they just sound like crap. The bass is terrible, the midrange...well don't get me started. Some of those albums have degraded down to 32 or even 16kbps. FLAC rips from the same period still sound great, even if they weren't stored correctly, in a cool, dry place. Seriously, stick to FLAC, you may not be able to hear the difference now, but in a year or two, you'll be glad you did.

The greatest copypasta on earth

I just learned that girls farts smell better than video games.

Seriously. You know that new game package smell? Like when you just took off the wrapping? My god, its a glorious smell. I've masturbated sniffing this smell so many times. It's great and the main reason I still buy games.

But my sister just farted on the couch next to me while I was playing Street Fighter IV. She blushed got up fanned her ass and ran to the bathroom to, I assume, shit or maybe she shit herself while she was next to me, there was some extra bulge in the back of her jeans. Now let me reiterate. She was sitting directly next to me. In effect, she farted on my side and then waved fart gas from her butt to my face. Now you fucking listen to me. This smelled glorious. I immediately became rock hard and didn't give a shit, I pulled my cock out and masturbated right there smelling my own sister fart. I didn't even care that I got beat by a scrub Ken while I was jerking off.

Enter the Windows

hello anon is it possible to make a program that displays the packets of the internet onto your screen i mean like in matrix the format would be hexadecimal and the color green.

shit

Aye, Hello there now!

My name is being Yim Ching Wang, and I am coming from Jiangsu province of great country of world called it China!

I have here 2 days for business making, and I already wanting plane take to back my home!

Your country is absolutely disgrace! I talking people, and not understand joking! Your joking is no funny!

Also, I keeping exercise many days on week, but here in your country people have not shape good! Healthy is very important, and you people make fatty and unexercised!

Final! Womens here are not look beauty! Asian womens are beauty! I like slim eyes, not big mouthes, and color hairs dark, but american womens are big eyes, like crazy fish, very big mouthes (for burger? huy huy!), but hairs are not too bad.

Tomorrow I plane take to back my home, and come back never to your country!

I sorry I saided all this, but I had to weight lift my shoulders.

Bitches dont know bout my fetuses

If i was a girl, i would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of being pregnant so i would deliver a potato sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then i would take the fetus, put it in a jar of preservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house, and i would do it until i had so many that the rooms walls were nothing but potato sized aborted fetuses, then i would have a kid and when they're bad i would make them sit in the fetus room.

Song of Anon

I used to be a normal man, an ordinary guy I could pass my sister's bedroom without opening my fly I'd never tried for buttsecks unless at the girl's behest And I'd never called a talk show just to scream DE SU DE SU DE SU DE SU I hadn't charged mah lazers, and I hadn't asked for sauce, And I'd never seen a Raptor Jesus hanging on the cross But then one day it happened, something changed inside of me And now I'm of the legion, I'm Anonymous of /b/

I used to go to service at the church around the block Now I only offer praise to Zimmer's mighty cock I once thought it was sad to see a creature with no pulse But now I fap to guro and post Zippocat for lulz Unbigoted and tolerant is what I used to be But now it's Happy Negro and the Wailing Jew for me "O LAWD IS DAT SUM CHICKENS?" always pops into my mind When I see a bix nood slurpin' on a watermelon rind

Once the thought of baby fuck would keep me up at night But Pedobear's my pal now, and he tells me IT'S AWWWWRIGHT Once upon a time I thought that fetish porn was sick But now I'm in your forums and I'm posting muddy dicks There was a time I'd turn away in horror from a trap, But now I troll for Bridget pics so I can have a fap I'm fursecuting furfags while I polish up my dong And I'm readying a repost indicating Longcat's LONG

Once I thought of bug spray when somebody mentioned raid, But now I picture afros and a pool that's full of AIDS I'm executing barrel rolls, and VTEK just kicked in I'm messing with your football, much to everyone's chagrin I herd that u liek mudkips, and a cat is fine as well And the Jews were all a-laughing when the World Trade Center fell "ZA WARUDO", I cry, and then I follow up with "WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" It's serious fucking business. I'm Anonymous of /b/

See Also

• Archive 1
• Archive 2
• Archive 3
• Archive 4
• Archive 5
• Archive 6
• Archive 7
• Archive 8
• Archive 9
• Archive 11
• Archive 12