SpongeBob SquarePants: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 18:37, 21 October 2021

SpongeBob SquarePants is a cartoon about a sentient sponge named SpongeBob doing random, repetitive, unfunny jokes that stretch longer than Kirk Johnson's anus. The show is a notable lolcow for the fact that it's quite obvious that SpongeBob is gay. Why else would he need so many holes, cry in EVERY SINGLE FUCKING EPISODE, and in one occasion adopt a child in a same-sex partnership? From day 1 to current day, all of the episodes promote homosexuality and everyone who watches it has most likely turned gay by now.

Decline in quality

SpongeBob (believe it or not) used to be a funny memorable show for all ages. But after its 3rd seasons the jews at nickelodeon saw spongebob as a "marketable character" and rushed episodes like a turd flinging out your anus. You should expect modern jewbob episodes to be unfunny and cancerous with gay jokes that arent even ironically funny.

Characters

SpongeBob SquarePants: The main fag of the show. Despite being clearly overage, he acts like an AIDS-infected fucktard who cries every time a baby is born in China and has a crush on Squidward in every single goddamn episode.

Patrick Star: SpongeBob's fat, retarded friend.

Squidward Tentacles: A penis-nosed squid who bitches about everything. He considers himself a great clarinet player despite clearly sucking ass at it. Today, he has no role other than being tortured by SpongeBob and Patrick in every episode he appears in. Expect him to commit suicide in the next episode.

Eugene Krabs: SpongeBob's cheap - ass boss, a reject of a pirate, and a failure of a dad. He clearly got around since he has a daughter that's a whale. Now all he cares about is money.

Sandy Cheeks: The show's main subject of Rule 34. Despite being Texan, she's actually the smartest character in the show, i.e. a Mary Sue, which is just enough to deserve her getting ran over by a truck.

Sheldon Plankton: The troll of the show, notice that he fails at trolling. Despite being an evil genius with the technology to take over the world, he instead wastes it trying to attain a glass bottle from Mr. Krabs and run his own fast food chain. Also a virgin, since he's married to a computer.

Gary: Spongebob's pet snail that eats the couch when his retard owner doesn't feed him. He is by far the smartest character on the show besides Sandy.

Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob's driving instructor. She fears SpongeBob in regard to his intelligence on the wheel.

Pearl Krabs: The bitchy crybaby teen of the show that nobody likes. Her father is a crab and the mother hunted down by Chinese fishermen. Once a minor character, she now stars in her own episodes, which all suck.

Karen: Plankton's computer waifu that runs on Linux, so she can be more advanced. Acts like a bitch and talks with an annoying Jew - accent.

Larry the Lobster: A giant red lobster who spends all day pumping iron at the beach with his gay buff friends.

Tom Smith: The background character that screams "CHOCOLATE!!" in episode Chocolate With Nuts.

The Flying Dutchman: A butt pirate of a ghost that scares everyone who looks like a pussy to begin with.

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy: A duo of washed up senile ex-superheroes that fights a talking mud bubble and a gimp in order to save the ocean.

Copyright Infringement

Back in 1992, Troy Walker scribbled up a comic about a sponge named "Bob Spongee" with a face scribbled on a kitchen sponge to go with it. These comics were distributed in northern California, which by total coincidence, is just where Stephen Hillenburg, Spongebob's creator, met Joe Murray at a public toilet in an art convention who gave him a shot at cable TV by letting him work on his shitty show "Rocko's Modern Life", of which the plot consisted of a Wallaby who lived with his pet, had a fat best friend, and worked a low wage job with a cheap boss. After it became obvious Murray's show sucked donkey balls, Nickelodeon cancelled it and booted his ass out of there. Needing another cartoon to replace it, Nick gave Hillenburg a chance to shit out his own unique idea. Putting his incredible creativity and story telling abilities to the limit, Hillenburg took the two failed ideas, smashed them together, and the rest is now an internet regular. Some light of this came around in 2006, when Troy Walker sued for $1 billion for copyright infringement, but the court said a cartoon sponge isn't a copy-writable idea and to GTFO! ^[1]

Memes

<video type="youtube" id="lPoVuyWaKhg" width="200" height="180" position="right" desc="Yeah you gotta be a genius to figure out what`s the inspiration behind this forced-meme!"/> Among the forced memes this show is guilty of spawning include:

Gallery

About missing Pics

Typical SpongeBob SquarePants fan
You would

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When you misbehave, SpongeBob becomes it, unknown to all, and to come to eat you.
Squidward's eager face
MOAR
IM READY! IM READY! IM READY! To rape you in your sleep!
U MAD
Spongebob attempting to resist homosexual advances.
Bix Nood's version of SpongeBob
What has science done?!
Some unrelated anime sh- ...Wait.did it wrong?
SpongeBob's employer
Black women love SpongeBob
SpongeBob finally fucking loses it
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!
A screenshot from the upcoming war epic, Full Metal SquarePants.
Typical Spongebob viewer
Typical Spongebob fanart
Moar typical fanart
Spongebob IRL
Tubgirl crossover episode.
Cockmongler crossover episode.
Allahu akbar!
A significant improvement.
SpongeBob's splinter
Dancing Spider-Man has got some competition.