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Bulgaria: Difference between revisions
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It's nearly impossible to find anything that isn't depressing to say about '''Bulgaria'''. However, according to www.bulgariatravel.org "A [[shit|picturesque small]] country called Bulgaria has existed for more than 13 centuries in Europe, linking East and West. Bulgaria remembers ancient civilisations and great people that [[pwn|wrote its turbulent history]]. Situated in Southeastern Europe, Bulgaria occupies the northeastern part of the Balkan Peninsula." | It's nearly impossible to find anything that isn't depressing to say about '''Bulgaria'''. However, according to www.bulgariatravel.org "A [[shit|picturesque small]] country called Bulgaria has existed for more than 13 centuries in Europe, linking East and West. Bulgaria remembers ancient civilisations and great people that [[pwn|wrote its turbulent history]]. Situated in Southeastern Europe, Bulgaria occupies the northeastern part of the Balkan Peninsula." | ||
==The depressingly supine history of Bulgaria== | ==The depressingly supine history of Bulgaria== | ||
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The most famous Bulgarian actress is called Rositsa Chorbadjiyska and there has never been a famous Miss Bulgaria. | The most famous Bulgarian actress is called Rositsa Chorbadjiyska and there has never been a famous Miss Bulgaria. | ||
== Factions == | |||
There are various factions you can join - [[skinhead|skinheads]], [[communist|commies]], [[da pawliiz|Cops]] or the [[infamous group|anonymous]] of [[gypsies|gypsies]]. Then you can do random attacks on everyone else, including Jehovah's witnesses. | |||
<center><youtube>0qgxI30QlAU</youtube></center> | |||
==The Bulgarian language== | ==The Bulgarian language== | ||
Revision as of 08:42, 25 January 2012
It's nearly impossible to find anything that isn't depressing to say about Bulgaria. However, according to www.bulgariatravel.org "A picturesque small country called Bulgaria has existed for more than 13 centuries in Europe, linking East and West. Bulgaria remembers ancient civilisations and great people that wrote its turbulent history. Situated in Southeastern Europe, Bulgaria occupies the northeastern part of the Balkan Peninsula."
The depressingly supine history of Bulgaria
- Pre-45AD
Owned by the Greeks despite not being Greek. No resistance.
- 45-632AD
The Romans conquer Bulgaria (Thrace) enslaving 300,000 citizens. No further resistance until the fall of the Roman Empire.
- 632-1014AD
The only real time Bulgaria exists as a country. Call it Bulgaria's manic phase. In 718AD they kill 22,000 Arabs. In 917AD they kill ten of thousands of Greeks.
- 1014-1396AD
The Empire strikes back. Byzantine Emperor Basil II ("the Bulgar-Slayer") blinds 15,000 Bulgarian prisoners taken in battle before releasing them. No resistance or any uprising of the Bulgarian population or nobility after the establishment of Byzantine rule.
- 1396-1876AD
Muslims beat Christians in Bulgaria. The losing side, thought to number several thousand, are bound together and marched naked before the Sultan where a group of executioners proceeds to kill them, either by decapitation or by severing their limbs from the body. No resistance to Ottoman rule for five centuries.
- 1876-1914AD
The Turks massacre 15,000 Bulgarians, causing Russia to invade Bulgaria and end Ottoman rule.
- 1914-1918AD
During World War I, Bulgaria finds itself fighting on the losing side. The Bulgarian army suffers 300,000 casualties, including 100,000 killed.
- 1940-1945AD
Bulgaria sides with the Nazis. In early September the Soviet Union declares war on Bulgaria and invades it, meeting no resistance.
- 1945-1990AD
Communist, owned by Russia. No resistance.
- 1957AD
Development of Golden Sands and Sunny Beach resorts begin. No resistance.
- 1990AD-2010AD
Bulgaria holds multi-party elections and privatizes its economy, but economic difficulties and a tide of corruption leads over 800,000 Bulgarians, most of them qualified professionals, to emigrate in a "brain drain" from a country with not a great deal of brains to spare. Russian mafia takes over. No resistance.
- 2010AD-present
Bulgaria is enslaved by the police and the government. No resistance.
Depressing Bulgarian rankings
- 39th most popular holiday destination
- 26th largest zinc producer
- 97th biggest oil producer
Depressing Bulgarian facts
- The average GDP is one third of that of Belgium.
- There are 150,000 tractors and 10,000 combine harvesters.
- Bulgaria does not have an embassy in Iceland.
- Bulgaria has 500 soldiers serving in Afghanistan.
- The northwestern part of Bulgaria is now officially the poorest in the EU.
- In Bulgaria you can sleep with every girl you want if you have a BMW or 17 dollars
Showing how much Bulgarians fail.
Skinheads attacking a mosque
Depressing famous Bulgarians
An examination of the "List Of Famous Bulgarians" at Wikipedia[1] shows that there are no famous Bulgarians.
Examples include;
1) Sport. Georgi Georgiev - 2 World Titles for Sambo (2003, 2006).
2) Criminals. Nikolay "The Eyeglasses" Dobrev.
3) TV News Presenters. Ralitsa Vassileva.
4) Monarchs. Michael II Shishman.
5) Dissident Physicists. Stefan Marinov.
6) Wombles. Great Uncle Bulgaria.
The most famous Bulgarian actress is called Rositsa Chorbadjiyska and there has never been a famous Miss Bulgaria.
Factions
There are various factions you can join - skinheads, commies, Cops or the anonymous of gypsies. Then you can do random attacks on everyone else, including Jehovah's witnesses.
The Bulgarian language
Just as Esquimos have a large number of words for "snow", according to Google Translate Bulgarians have a large number of words for "depression".
