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Jonah Mowry: Difference between revisions
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==A Crybaby Doesn't Understand Why He's Made Fun Of== | == A Crybaby Doesn't Understand Why He's Made Fun Of == | ||
Before commencing the [[School|8th-grade]], Jonah came to the realisation that he was in store for a rousing year of good-natured [[Trolling|ribbing]] at the hands of his school-yard chums so; rather than mature alongside his contemporaries developing a healthy sense of humor and gruff camaraderie, he went the opposite route and proceeded to [[Baw|spill his guts]] to strangers on the internet about all the mean, spiteful attentions received throughout his crucial grade-school years. Seeing absolutely nothing ironic about having a teary bitchfit after having been accused of being a wimp, Jonah grabbed a stack of note cards and put his [[Penis|Sharpie]] to work, whipping up a batch of cards purposely calculated to [[Crybaby|tug at the heartstrings]] and, with any luck, get some of that sweet, sweet media attention that all the [[Emo|"victims"]] recieve these days. For added effect, he even went so far as to show off the [[Nothing|"scars"]] he had accumulated over the years spent [[cutting]] as a response to his nightmarish existence. As a crowning cherry to top off his already overblown crybaby-sundae he wrapped it all together with a [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|notoriously corny and overtly emotional]] ballad from the completely accurate and not at all exaggerated film [[Cyberbu//y]]. | Before commencing the [[School|8th-grade]], Jonah came to the realisation that he was in store for a rousing year of good-natured [[Trolling|ribbing]] at the hands of his school-yard chums so; rather than mature alongside his contemporaries developing a healthy sense of humor and gruff camaraderie, he went the opposite route and proceeded to [[Baw|spill his guts]] to strangers on the internet about all the mean, spiteful attentions received throughout his crucial grade-school years. Seeing absolutely nothing ironic about having a teary bitchfit after having been accused of being a wimp, Jonah grabbed a stack of note cards and put his [[Penis|Sharpie]] to work, whipping up a batch of cards purposely calculated to [[Crybaby|tug at the heartstrings]] and, with any luck, get some of that sweet, sweet media attention that all the [[Emo|"victims"]] recieve these days. For added effect, he even went so far as to show off the [[Nothing|"scars"]] he had accumulated over the years spent [[cutting]] as a response to his nightmarish existence. As a crowning cherry to top off his already overblown crybaby-sundae he wrapped it all together with a [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|notoriously corny and overtly emotional]] ballad from the completely accurate and not at all exaggerated film [[Cyberbu//y]]. | ||
Revision as of 22:00, 6 July 2012
Jonah Mowry is the latest in a series of media sensations to showcase an anti-bullying mascot gaining infamy as a result of humiliating themselves on the internet.
A Crybaby Doesn't Understand Why He's Made Fun Of
Before commencing the 8th-grade, Jonah came to the realisation that he was in store for a rousing year of good-natured ribbing at the hands of his school-yard chums so; rather than mature alongside his contemporaries developing a healthy sense of humor and gruff camaraderie, he went the opposite route and proceeded to spill his guts to strangers on the internet about all the mean, spiteful attentions received throughout his crucial grade-school years. Seeing absolutely nothing ironic about having a teary bitchfit after having been accused of being a wimp, Jonah grabbed a stack of note cards and put his Sharpie to work, whipping up a batch of cards purposely calculated to tug at the heartstrings and, with any luck, get some of that sweet, sweet media attention that all the "victims" recieve these days. For added effect, he even went so far as to show off the "scars" he had accumulated over the years spent cutting as a response to his nightmarish existence. As a crowning cherry to top off his already overblown crybaby-sundae he wrapped it all together with a notoriously corny and overtly emotional ballad from the completely accurate and not at all exaggerated film Cyberbu//y.
Seriously; the exact same fucking song.
Slowly, and in an ironic twist of fate, Jonah got the attention he so desperately desired.
An Even Bigger Attention Whore Opens The Floodgates
What ensued was so perfect that God himself must have devised it, another attention-whoring plagiarist got hold of Jonah's weepy video. Eager to make it look like she gave a fuck and hopefully unload a couple million more albums off on all the little twinks, Gaga shared it to her millions of followers via Twitter. Millions flocked to the video, eager to give Mowry's peen reassuring rubs of condolence to fill him with the encouragement he needed to stay strong.
But Did You Know That...
Jonah stole the idea, execution and attention from another (at the time) more popular anti-bullying video?
Inspiration, coincidence, or something less commendable? You be the judge.
HAI DAIR; Or, Jonah Unwittingly Slips Up
Not long after receiving his glorious bout of e-fame Jonah proceeded to do what all whores do when they get what they want; gloat about it. Mouth full of semen and fag-hag by his side, Jonah happily sucked away as he gloated about how his video made him beloved worldwide and that his detractors could just suck on that! Oddly, the video brought up a rather unintended point. Jonah seemed downright gleeful about how great his life had been since making the video. Almost as though he had made up the extent of his ordeal entirely for sympathy. After being called out on this repeatedly in the videos comments section, the video was pulled, but not before a mirror could be set up. For whatever reason, if Jonah is to be believed, 8 years of bullying seemingly reversed itself in an 8 month period. All that soul crushing torture just... gone. For no reason. Just like that. And that's the truth.
Realizing he was now caught on his shit, Jonah went to the realm of all butthurt liars and DMCA'd the video away, confident that that would be the end of it all. Little did the silly little faggot know, you can't erase something from the internet once it's there.
<video type="break" id="2254242" width="550" height="450" desc="HAI DAIR" frame="true" position="center"/>
Reactions
As more and more people realized just how much shit Jo was full of, his supporters decided to argue it shouldn't matter he was lying out of his ass for attention, being no better than the Jessi Slaughters or Rebecca Blacks the internet is so fond of "torturing", because he 'helped vulnerable peers see another way through the pain'.
Other Projects
When Jonahs not preoccupied slurping the night away, or sobbing into his pillow, he does what all retards with a webcam do; comedy skits remove them to avoid unflattering attention!
Lol so random XD Previous Video | Next Video |
Gallery
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Jonah looking for a date. -
"It's been happening EVERY DAY FOR YEARS... oh wait, nevermind, it stopped..." -
Trolled hard -
Jonah, working up the tears for a sequel. -
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An even bigger attention whoring faggot makes sure he gets in on the gravy train. -
Jonah outsmarts everyone.
See Also
- The Casey - The correct way to handle bullying.
- Bullying - What Jonah lied about!
- An hero - The only true cure for Jonahs ills.
External Links
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Jonah Mowry is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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