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Matt Ward: Difference between revisions
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[[File:Matt_Ward.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Matt Ward in neckbeard form]] | [[File:Matt_Ward.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Matt Ward in neckbeard form]] | ||
[[File:Trollmarine.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Artist's depiction of Matt Ward's true form]] | [[File:Trollmarine.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Artist's depiction of Matt Ward's true form]] | ||
'''Matt Ward''' is an agent of God sent from on high to punish transgressors, much like Hitler. His divine mission is to mercilessly troll the ever-loving fuck out of [[neckbeards]], [[tg|/tg/]], and the [[Warhammer 40k]] fan base at large. His skill in this regard was noticed by the sadistic jews of Games Workshop, who subsequently granted him gainful employment in the field of professional | '''Matt Ward''' is an agent of God sent from on high to punish transgressors, much like Hitler. His divine mission is to mercilessly troll the ever-loving fuck out of [[neckbeards]], [[tg|/tg/]], and the [[Warhammer 40k]] fan base at large. His skill in this regard was noticed by the sadistic jews of Games Workshop, who subsequently granted him gainful employment in the field of professional rage solicitation. | ||
== He Who Would Feast Upon Manchildren's Tears == | |||
The man who would become Lord Ward, Antichrist of Autists, began his "hobbyist" career in a most inauspicious manner. He started by writing rulebooks for a tabletop miniatures game set in a Lord of the Rings campaign, but no one could give a fuck less about LOTR. Unable to acquire his lifeblood of lulz in this fashion, Ward extensively studied The Protocols of the Elders of Zion so that he might better understand the overlords of Games Workshop. Having promised them heretofore unheard of troves of precious gold in exchange for providing Ward a writing position in their Warhammer 40k division, they had no choice but to agree. As is custom, the arrangement was sealed with the ritual sacrifice of a gentile infant. | |||
Revision as of 21:35, 30 July 2012
Matt Ward is an agent of God sent from on high to punish transgressors, much like Hitler. His divine mission is to mercilessly troll the ever-loving fuck out of neckbeards, /tg/, and the Warhammer 40k fan base at large. His skill in this regard was noticed by the sadistic jews of Games Workshop, who subsequently granted him gainful employment in the field of professional rage solicitation.
He Who Would Feast Upon Manchildren's Tears
The man who would become Lord Ward, Antichrist of Autists, began his "hobbyist" career in a most inauspicious manner. He started by writing rulebooks for a tabletop miniatures game set in a Lord of the Rings campaign, but no one could give a fuck less about LOTR. Unable to acquire his lifeblood of lulz in this fashion, Ward extensively studied The Protocols of the Elders of Zion so that he might better understand the overlords of Games Workshop. Having promised them heretofore unheard of troves of precious gold in exchange for providing Ward a writing position in their Warhammer 40k division, they had no choice but to agree. As is custom, the arrangement was sealed with the ritual sacrifice of a gentile infant.