Avant-garde

Avant-garde is a style of "art" created by attention whores who are too stupid to realize that it's easier scrape meager fame from making Sonic the Hedgehog recolors or inflation art than from painting a picture with one's own menstrual blood. Found both online and off, avant-garde art is a means by which insecure art school students reconcile the fact that they are unable to create technically advanced and meaningful artwork. Not to be mistaken for modern art, avant-garde is a lifestyle that pervades every aspect of an 'artist's' life, from its fashion choices to the music that it listens to. There are many forms of avant-garde artwork, and chances are that you are unfortunate enough to have come across it upon your Internet travels.

Avant-Gardes in the Wild

Luckily for those of us brave enough to leave our basements, "people" who ascribe to the avant-garde aesthetic are usually too busy masturbating to tumblr nudes or getting high in their warehouse lofts to see the light of day. However, when they do manage to escape from their cages, they may be detected from a mile away by a strong stench of American Spirits, shitty microbrew, and the semen they'd smeared all over themselves during their latest performance piece. Unfortunately, they tend to travel in moderately-sized to large groups that communicate with a mixture of condescending grunts and low-pitched, smug laughter. When they do manage to utter a string of phonemes, the resulting language usually sounds like meaningless, infant-like babble to the unversed listener. However, avant-garde artists and 'appreciators' operate under the notion that every word that leaves their mouths is profound, meaningful, and full of god-like insight that transcends the cognitive power of mere mortals. Although these individuals rarely interact with others outside of their species, their remarkable ability to flood coffee shops and bars with psuedo-Freudian noise-pollution makes them the 16-year-old girls of the adult world.