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| [[Image:N00baward.jpg|thumb|Award or a sex toy?]]
| | GO FUCK YOURSELF. |
| [[Image:Anubis.jpg|thumb|Newb Religion.]]
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| [[Image:N00bshout.jpg|thumb|Inquisitive Newb.]]
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| [[Image:Ubuntu.gif|thumb|The [[you|typical]] n00b has [[ubuntu|this]] installed, because they [[fail]] at other *nixes.]]
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| [[Image:Inspiron-osx.jpg|thumb|Installing [[OS X]] on a PC - only something a stupid [[you|n00b]] would do.]]
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| [[Image:nubs.jpg|thumb|Fun fact: the blood of n00bs can be used as a powerful degreaser for [[Ted_Stevens|internet tubes]].]]
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| '''Newbies (newbs, n3wb5, noobz, n00bs, n00bzors)''' are those, whose [[Loser|lack of capacity for conversation, wit and appropriate behavior in a group setting]] [[IRL]] is amplified when [[OL]], a setting where they feel [[anonymous|liberated]] and therefore have [[Psychopath|no sense of liability]]. They create [[Rage|frustrating]] situations for those they come in contact with. Contrary to the moniker a person can be OL for many, many years and remain quite [[Retarded|n00bish]].
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| == Characteristics ==
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| Newbies are [[College|epitomized]] by their lack of knowledge, seemingly unfathomable [[stupid]]ity and ignorance towards the rules and standards of etiquette. They are also known for their [[Drug|excessive use]] of [[1337]] because it's likely that the internet is the [[American|first time in their lives they've been required to use significant reading skills]].
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| Newbies are susceptible to [[malware]], [[virus]]es/trojans and internet [[scam]]s, because they are not only [[Stupid|naive]] but also have personality faults. [[Lazy]], lascivious, lecherous, [[greed]]y, unwilling to [[Book|read]] anything or [[research]] their new playground, they click eagerly on anything that excites their [[E-psychiatrist|Id]]. After a few thousand [[Ads|pop-up]]s and experiencing rapid deterioration of computer performance, they belatedly become afraid that their [[PC]] is filled with some pretty nasty shit. If they see a warning in front of them that says their computer is infected, they erroneously click the shit out of it, hoping for even a meager chance of [[Delete fucking everything|wiping the slate clean]]. The newb will then have to explain to his father or boss why Busty XXX Whores want to perform for him. [[Lulz]].
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| == Early Newbs ==
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| The first newb was a member of the [[British]] [[Government|Parliament]] who asked Charles Babbage, "Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?" To which Mr. Babbage replied; "I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." Which is ancient British for "[[Facepalm]]". Newbs therefore inspired the first computer acronym, [[GIGO]].
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| == Difference between Noob and Newb ==
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| There is no difference, anyone who says otherwise is spreading cancer
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| == Halp me ED! I'm a n00b! ==
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| # Sign up for a user account and '''read''' the message you get from [[MysteryBot]]. It'll be in the "mytalk" link in the upper right hand corner of every page on ED. '''Read''' all the stuff in there and leave it in your talk page so you can '''read''' it again. [[RTFM]]
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| # [[Lurk]].
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| # [[Lurk moar]]; it can't hurt.
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| <center>
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| {{frame|{{morphquote| width: 900px; height: 210px; font-weight: bold; | |
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| |:O I visited because I was looking for a reliable encyclpedia, but I'm staying for the naked pictures. If I learn to be funny and irreverent, will I get laid? I have money! (Not really, but I do own a penus.) It only has herpes on one side.
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| |newb
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| |hi, i'm crazy!!!!!!!!!!!! i come from west side mars.......... i'm new here, so feel free to type what you want. just write sumpin' funny!!! but nuthin' racist!!!xp feel free to call me C A Z Y B O N E S!!!! (oh yeah, how do you make an avatar) i plan to stay here long, but I can't without friends, so post sumthin' !!!
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| |newb with multiple insecurities
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| |Hey guys, this is my first post so I thought I would introduce myself, I am one hardcore motherfucker i like totally pone everything that exists.
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| |[[Internet Tough Guy]]
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| |who agrees that Final fantasy should be taken away from nintendo and kept with playstation i know that the origionals were on nintendo but playstation is where they took off and nintendo has taken a big blow in the gaming industry since microsoft entered and i dont wanna see my favorite RPG be taken down by them]|newb gamer
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| |What does LOL really mean?!
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| |about to find out what lulz means
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| |"OMG im liek SOOOoooOO totally AZN. R u AZN 2??"
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| |13 year old white boy, looking for a 12 year old Azn|}}|}}
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| </center>
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| <center>
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| {{fv|n00bids|font-weight: bold
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| |<youtube>VqZ7pIBJOzU</youtube>
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| |<youtube>YtQ45ztqJ5M</youtube>
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| |<youtube>HofQP8TKWgg</youtube>
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| |<youtube>xhKjpdWyYMc</youtube>
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| |<youtube>cBpPXQ-68IU</youtube>}}
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| </center>
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| == See Also ==
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| * <s>[[419 Nigerian Email Scams]]</s> I go chop your grandmotha life savings.. We nah see who de be da noob.
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| * [[Children]]-[[IRL]] noobs.
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| * [[Internet Tough Guy]]
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| * [[LMGTFY]]
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| * [[Pain Series]]- Good for pwning noobs.
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| * [[Stupid]]
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| [[Category:Epithets]]
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| [[Category:Internets Phenomena]]
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| {{language}}
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