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| {{disambig}}
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| [[File:Expert jackson galaxy, cat behavior consultant.jpg|thumb|right|400px|Give this man your money]]
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| ex·pert<BR>
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| /n., v. ˈɛkspɜrt; adj. ˈɛkspɜrt, ɪkˈspɜrt<BR>
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| –noun<BR>
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| Derivation: "Ex" = hasbeen; "Spurt" = drop of water under pressure; ergo, expert == A Failure at Bukkake.<BR>
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| There are many types of experts on the [[Internet]]:
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| # [[Detective]]
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| # [[E-psychiatrist]]
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| # [[E-lawyer]]
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| # Persons [[almost raped]]
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| # Anyone who knows any [[statistics]]
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| # [[Weeaboo|Anime Expert]]
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| # [[faggot|Spider Expert]]
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| ==Videos==
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| <center>
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| {{fv|starvids|background-color: brown;|font-weight: bold;
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| |<youtube>UeiBkoIhcFg</youtube>
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| }}
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| </center>
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| == How to Spot an Expert ==
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| Spotting an expert is quite easy. Experts generally carry their forged [[serious business|PhDs]] in their back pocket (in case someone questions them), attend really boring [[orgies|conventions]] and [[lie|tell everyone]] about how super smart they are. An expert will immediately notify you that he or she [[USI|is an expert]], and to [[STFU|shut the fuck up]]. He or she may or may not then [[fail|attempt]] to educate you in their field of [[bullshit|expertise]], even if you didn't ask for help in the first place. They will also advise you not to "try this at home" if they are attempting to do something [[fucktard|really fucking stupid]].
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| These people are generally very [[douchebag|full of themselves]] and will stop at nothing to maintain a strict form of dignity and intelligence. If you come across an expert, you may use one of many suitable drama-generating techniques:
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| *Ask them if their "expertise" has ever made them [[profit|money]]
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| *Continuously ask them "why?" or "how?" (this is more of a delay tactic than a drama tactic)
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| *Correct them
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| *Tell them that you can easily do/have done that
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| *Go off topic
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| *Mock them
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| *Point them to their [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] article
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| ==Portraits of Expertise==
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| <br>
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| <center>
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| <gallery>
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| File:Hummus expert charlie palmer.jpg
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| File:"emoji expert" keith broni.jpg
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| File:Wedgie proof experts.jpg
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| File:Libby kaplan - expert chicken sweater knitter.jpg
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| File:Gena bumgarner - chicken nugget scientist.jpg
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| </gallery>
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| </center>
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| <br>
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| == List of Experts ==
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| *[[Jimbo Wales]]
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| *[[Steve Jobs]]
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| *[[Alex Ford]]
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| *[[Mark Zuckerberg]]
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| *[[TOW|Every TOW Editor]]
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