Matthew Zazueta

This article is a crappy stub. You can help by completely re-writing it. Be sure to make it longer, girthier, and more pleasurable.

Matthew Zazueta looks like it was written by pseudo-intellectual 13-year-old boys. Look out for unfunny Uncyclopedia bullshit, boring in-jokes, and angsty teen-ery. You could also add in actual humor.

THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ. BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.

Pic related, the ugly cunt.

There's an American schizophrenic who does drugs, comes to /int/ every day and spams, sometimes gets banned (more than often not), evades those bans, continues to spam, and the mods refuse to do anything. Most of /brit/ has completely filtered American flags as a result. He also spams a shitty general on /mu/ called /bleep/ where it's just him talking to himself. They've since made a new general called /electronic/ to get away from him.

Law enforcement, ED readers, girls under the age of 16, ladies and gentlemen:

Matthew Zazueta is a 26 year old virgin pedophile from California who sleeps 1 hour a day and spends the rest spamming /int/.

History

One day he found /brit/ and started spamming YouTube music links. Everyone started filtering the American flag and ignoring him, so every day he mass replies to everyone to get attention, gets banned, then resets his IP.

In retaliation, someone from /brit/ started spamming kpop in /bleep/, then impersonating Matthew, talking about fucking his dad.

When kpop started getting spammed in his /bleep/, the spammer false-flagged and said "/bleep/ is now owned by kpop general" so he went to the kpop general and started spamming, calling everyone incels.

Then he finally figured out it was someone from /brit/ and lost it.

He's also a junkie who does drugs every day, furthering his mental instability.

Poetry

TL;DR

“   Matthew loves to fuck his dad, When he leaves, he's mighty sad. His dad's cum fills him up with glee, keeps some in a jar with his pee. Boney boney we dem boys, in Matthew's ass go his toys. Horny horny daddy's dick, fucking, sucking, nice and stiff.   „     —Anon Previous Quote | Next Quote

Links

• Matthew Zazueta on Desuarchive
• Someone on /mu/ made this tune about masturbating to his parents 3 years ago
• Dox