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Copied the old Angry Joe stuff from the TGWTG article history and posted it here and made some changes. Hopefully you guys can help out with more lulz and new pictures.
Created page with "{{Lulz}} {{quote|I'm funny! I really am! The way I scream at the camera like Pewdiepie is divine comedy. It's not like I sucked Doug Walker's dick clean to get a spot on TGWT..."
[[Image:AngryJoeConstipation.jpg|thumb|left|185px|Angry Joe,<br/>at the toilet.]]
{{Lulz}}
{{quote|I'm funny! I really am! The way I scream at the camera like [[Pewdiepie]] is divine comedy. It's not like I sucked Doug Walker's dick clean to get a spot on TGWTG!|Angry Joe on his content}}
Get it? '''He's angry.''' DURR HURR HURR HURR. Angry Joe (IRL name '''[[Dirty Sanchez|Joe Vargas]]''') is a spiked crewcut homo [[beaner]] that essentially serves as TGWTG's answer to the AVGN, or as a placemarker until they can nab someone more popu... ''NO WAIT, they have Dr. Ashens now!!!''
He is the not-recognized son of Germán Valdez "Tin Tan" and likes to portray himself as a brave and righteous hero that fights the good fight against the [[Bobby Kotick|big evil gaming corporations]], and believes he is [[USI|the voice of all gamers on the internet]]. He is aided in his crusade by his loyal [[fanbase]], the so-called "Angry Joe [[Army]]", who will buy anything he tells them to buy, gloating about their [[Unrealistic Expectations|combined purchasing power]]. However, he has proven himself more than willing to [[buttsecks|screw]] his fanbase over by stealing their ideas and begging them for various kinds of [[blowjob|services]]. Not to mention the fact that he thinks "fighting [[The Man]]" means jizzing over the hottest 1st party property out on any given week and ignoring the Indie Gaming scene entirely. Naturally, as original as video game reviewers can be, his [[plagiarism|trademarks]] consists of the same [[Superman]] shirt and a theme song shamelessly ripping off G.I. Joe.
[[Image:Avgn_angryjoe_spoonyone.jpg|thumb|Angry Joe (left) with The Angry Video Game Nerd (middle), and [[The Spoony Experiment| some furry no one cares about]]]]
Joe [[Beaner|Vargas]] (aka [[unfunny|Angry Joe]]) is one among the festering shitpiles of video game reviewers on [[That Guy With The Glasses]] The [[batshit insane]] [[Shit no one cares about|Joe makes a multitude of videos such as Let's Plays, movie reviews, angry rants, first impressions]], and the most popular, his Angry Reviews. He is known for being a [[Fanboi|connoisseur]] of Superman merchandise, movies, and games. He has made a couple of cameos in [[Nostalgia Critic]], TGWTG's ''To Boldly Flee'', and [[fail|Kickassia]] He is also a [[Youtube]] partner, making a bit more [[Jew gold]] than most people on TGWTG.
As most youtube "celebrities" do, he makes shitty vlogs[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34t0QQPlmLs] (note the apparent [[neckbeard]] that are mainly him having a [[nerdgasm]] over video games involving superheroes, or trying to sell merchandise. He also promotes kickstarters that either suck and have no purpose or are a complete scam. [[AVGN|Does that sound familiar?]]
In Mr Vargas' defence, he is quite possibly the hardest working Mexican on the face of the planet. Joe manages to spew out at least [[Over 9000|ten]] videos a day for TGWTG, all of which will be viewed by no one due to them all being the same fucking thing. If you've seen one Angry Joe video, you've seen them all... and they're all shit!
==Beginnings==
{{warning|'''These disturbing first videos show a multitude of [[lame|anti-lulz]]!'''}}
[[At least 100]] years ago, Joe produced and published his first Angry Review, the beginning starts as a [[retarded|monologue]] saying how he is the [[lolwut|defender against shitty nex-gen games.]] Although the video only has 65000 views, he still somehow got popular.
Joe's usual video consists of him pretending to become enraged over some insignificant segment of a video game/recently released movie... for ten minutes (all encased in a slew of shitty green screening and [[Adobe|after effects]]). When it is quite apparent (either from his lack of acting ability or true opinion) that he clearly doesn't give a fuck IRL and is only making this pretend emotion to make moar monies on Blip. Sadly, the only people to call him out on his pretend [[emo]] faggotry were the members of [[The_Spoony_Experiment|Spoony]]'s forums who've presumably been banned for saying anything but blind praise to Spoony's friends. Still, for the rest of the Internets, Angry Joe fails harder than [[Irate Gamer|the very retard he imitates]].
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''If you are a goy and watch this, you will bring Angry Joe many shekels.'''</big></center><br>
[[Image:Lt._Lisa_Foiles.jpg|thumb|right|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fV2iI4W-Xfs Not even fellow TGWTG contributors like Lisa Foiles.]]]
<center><youtube>mhkcoc3Doi8</youtube></center>
Recently, Joe went from having the most effects-laden show of the entire TGWTG crew to actually upgrading his show. Much more impressively however, he brought on a sidekick: a busty blonde chick. Despite the obvious fact that she was acquired in the course of human trafficking from Tijuana, Joe has on his show a chick who is light-years out of the league of any other TGWTG fan or contributor. Sidekick Lisa Foiles has her own upstart video game review show on The Escapist, and predictably enough it is shit.
<br>
Unfortunately, due to a total lapse in US border control, he sadly wasn't thrown back over the border to [[Mexico]] during his recent trip to Nevada to film the [[TGWTG#Kickassia|2nd Anniversary video]].
[http://battybovine.blip.tv/file/3947649/ Also, his moustache makes him look like a faggot,] but you already knew that. How else do you think he got put in charge of Blistered Thumbs?
{{clear}}
==== Angry Joe vs. Geoff Keighley ====
For years like most stupid gamers Angry Joe made a huge deal about the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1wOui5b31w Spike TV VGAs] being [[Irony|awful and a misrepresentation of gaming culture]]. Yes this show is indeed shitty, but neither the industry or the actual audience watching cares to throw a tantrum like Joe does. Nobody cares if they win an award and don't promote it as much as an actual award like the [http://www.gamechoiceawards.com/ Game Developers Choice Awards.] Life goes on and more games are made without any alterations from the show. Joe doesn't feel that they fucking care about your petty concerns as a gamer and wants to be your voice, which is apparently the voice of an annoying douche bag spic with a faggy mustache who's the son of your cleaning lady and wants you to keep him entertained until she's done fucking your dad in the next room. So all you hear is stupid ranting and dumb nitpicks in front of a green screen about something he has zero control over.
<center><youtube>SmsUk9nmIuc</youtube></center>
Since there wasn't enough evidence to prove that Joe is incapable of being a reviewer or having any outside contact with normal people, Joe was invited to the 2010 Spike TV VGAs. Instead of being grateful as being recognized from his 5th rate site as an actual journalist, [http://www.blisteredthumbs.net/2010/11/angry-joe-vga-2010/ he decides to make a video where he pisses on his host's face.] Geoff Keighley all around nice guy and professional journalist thought it would be funny to fuck with Joe. So instead of deleting his email and ignoring him forever, he grants him his invite. In another video update [http://www.blisteredthumbs.net/2010/12/vga-victory/ Joe considers this a huge blow against him.] Joe now asks of his fans to write questions to ask Geoff in a 15 minute interview he was promised. After all being a professional journalist Joe couldn't come up with his own questions and do his own research before walking into the lion's den known as the Spike TV VGAs.♠
So Joe sets out for the show without any preparation to spit hot fire about his retarded agenda. When Joe and his gay camera man arrives we see that he is put in the dead last spot for the press and Geoff doesn't want to even talk with him. After all Geoff is a busy man and he's got to make sure this entire show runs smoothly and could wait until after to talk with Joe. Joe is so frustrated that he can no longer wait. Eventually he convinces some girl to make Geoff talk with him where Geoff tells him he's got a few minutes which Joe claims it was two. From this moment on we see [http://www.blisteredthumbs.net/2010/12/geoff-keighley-vgas-interview/ the worst gaming journalist interview put on film] as Geoff tears this rookie's asshole in half like a phone book, all while Joe seems to be constantly on the edge of crying like a little girl. Joe then bitches how he let everyone down and is a complete failure, but it was not his fault.
<center><youtube>NTNkoDzP1hI</youtube></center>
[[Image:Angryjoesupportervga.png|thumb|left|Typical White Noise TGWTG fan sucking Joe's cock.]]
[[Image:Angryjoesupportervga2.jpg|thumb|right|neolveiga would be later banned for saying anything the least bit negative about Joe.]]
[[Image:Angryjoesupportervga3.jpg|thumb|left|This. All of it. This right here is bullshit.]]
[[Image:Spoonytweetaboutangryjoevga.png|thumb|right|Even [[Spoony]] is too stupid to understand when someone fucks up.]]
The outcome of this weighs in with the drooling dipshit fans, who think Joe was absolutely right and Geoff was an asshole. Joe is apparently considered a misunderstood hero who's rights have been trampled upon. Anyone who's not part of TGWTG, knows about journalism, likes videos games, or is considered a normal human being think Joe is the biggest retard in the world. Not only did Joe burn any bridges with getting future invites to the show, but anyone in the video game industry that sees this will forever pan their site from being considered as journalists. So all outside sources from TGWTG start to throw their opinions about Joe back at him without the risk of being instabanned from Blistered Thumbs. Joe starts to pick a fight with one called imagesfromapoet no less than a half hour after the video was uploaded. She later blocked her comments, [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=IBT02QYZ but we've saved them all for you.]
{{clear}}
<center>
{{fv|Angry Joe vs. Geoff Keighley|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>Q62GeLDkMAM</youtube>
<center>'''A girl on the internet thinks you're an insufferable retard, Joe.'''</center>
|<youtube>L7pfpLTey2A</youtube>
<center>'''How a real neck beard gets angry.'''</center>
|<youtube>F7r_646-6Ug</youtube>
<center>'''"Stop Posting Busy Street related stuff you fucking asshole!"'''</center>
|<youtube>on723NoRtTw</youtube>
<center>'''[[Tim Buckley]] haters give a shoutout to Angry Joe'''</center>
|<youtube>W0ULujy7nME</youtube>
<center>'''[[lol wut|Bitch doesn't know who the Oracle is]].'''</center>
|<youtube>x8SfoHBllxc</youtube>
<center>'''I bet you didn't know Doug can give good head.'''</center>
I'm funny! I really am! The way I scream at the camera like Pewdiepie is divine comedy. It's not like I sucked Doug Walker's dick clean to get a spot on TGWTG!
As most youtube "celebrities" do, he makes shitty vlogs[1] (note the apparent neckbeard that are mainly him having a nerdgasm over video games involving superheroes, or trying to sell merchandise. He also promotes kickstarters that either suck and have no purpose or are a complete scam. Does that sound familiar?
Beginnings
Warning! These disturbing first videos show a multitude of anti-lulz!
At least 100 years ago, Joe produced and published his first Angry Review, the beginning starts as a monologue saying how he is the defender against shitty nex-gen games. Although the video only has 65000 views, he still somehow got popular.
If you are a goy and watch this, you will bring Angry Joe many shekels.
