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VolunteersForUkraine: Difference between revisions

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{{potential}}
{{breakingnews|The larper legion has been btfo by Kalibr missiles and now they're bravely running away to Poland}}
{{RainbowSlant|LE REDDIT ARMY HAS ARRIVED!!!}}
[[File:volunteersforukraine soydreams.png|800px|center]]
[[File:volunteersforukraine pidor.png|thumb|A true [[faggot|пидор]], ready to queer up the battlefield|right]]


While the Russo-Ukrainian conflict [[Drag queens|drags]] on with thousands being [[2017 Las Vegas Shooting|shot]], [[Luka Magnotta|maimed]], [[Kill it with fire|burnt]] and torn to shreds by missiles and drones, the [[faggot|estrogenic]] [[soyboy|soyboys]] in the west are in the comfort of their [[basement-dweller|homes]] rewatching their favorite marvel movie for the millionth time while munching on Takis and downing it with soylent. But then, some of them thought it would be an epic and wholesome idea to haul their asses to a country they've never heard of before to push the evil [[Commie|Nazi]] dictator <s>[[Hitler]]</s> [[Putin]] and his Army of Darkness back. For fighting for justice and protecting the innocent is a hero's job! [[Unrealistic expectations|JUST LIKE MY MARVEL MOVIEZ SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!]]
Dilating to the thought of living their fantasy of being the heroes of a realistic version of their favorite movie adaptation of a [[The Hunger Games|young adults novel]], the [[tranny|trannies]] of [[reddit]] launched a new subreddit recruiting 'tards from all over the privileged West to aid in the war effort. After all, can you imagine the sweet, sweet dopamine-rush one would get from all the positive karma and Reddit gold you're going to farm? [[addiction|Who in the hecking world can resist?!]] For those that aren't [[retarded|brave]] enough to risk their lives for clout however, they have the typical [[slacktivist]] routes to exploit; any contribution no matter how small is meaningful. Spetznaz troops would be really demoralized when see they're up against the combined forces of [[Harry Potter]], [[60%27s_Spider-Man|Spider-Man]], [[Sonichu|Pikachu]], [[Lord of the Rings|Gandalf]] and [[comic|Marvel Avengers]].
Thanks [[Ukraine]] - you can [[kill|keep]] them, we don't want them back.
__TOC__
==Just like mah Vidya Gaymz==
Holy shit! Russia and a country I never heard of are engaged in a meatgrinder of a battle?! Time to grab some popcorn and watch those [[highscore|Highscores]]</br>
As always, the Third World's problems are the First World's entertainment. Denizens of the [[internetz]] are now resting on their cozy recliners drinking beer and cheering on poor Slavic conscripts being blown up in a [[The Internet is serious business|serious war]] like it's a football match between Norf FC and Souf FC. [[nobody cares|But who fucking cares about some low IQ slavs?]] Warzones are your coliseums, social media is your comfy auditorium seat and the third worlder pigs are your gladiators, your majesty! [[sick fuck|So sit back, relax and enjoy the bloodbath.]]
[[File:volunteersforukraine russia losses.jpg|thumb|[[Call of Duty|"I'm getting all them killstreaks dude!"]]|center]]</br>
[[File:volunteersforukraine ukraine losses.png|thumb|[[fail|NOOOOOOO! MY K/D!!!!]]|center]]
==Just like mah Marvel Heroes==
Since the [[Pussy|soft and sheltered]] Redditors have never seen a bloody conflict in their [[You|pathetic and worthless]] lives, their only window to anything remotely close to that are their superficial and substance-less action capeshit movies that mass-produced on Hollywood's assembly line. Always the same crappy annual "good guys fight the bad guys and win" movie shilled out ad nauseum.
Their obsession with Superheroes leads the way of them glorifying anything that was committed against the Russian Army, from as little as farting in the general direction of invading Ruskies to The Legendary Pilot nicknamed [[Ace Combat|"The Ghost of Kiev"]] who allegedly shot down 6 Russian MIGs.
Whether those romanticized tales are reality or a fabrication of a [[psyops]], Redditors give zero fucks ([[cuck|just about the amount of fucks they give their wives]], that's [[nigger|tyrone's]] job after all). If it sounds like a marvel movie, it will be retweeted, shared and updooted.
<gallery>
File:volunteersforukraine Captain Ukraine.jpg|Captain Ukraine
File:volunteersforukraine ghost of keiv.jpg|Ghost of Kiev
File:volunteersforukraine saint raytheon.png|Same Shit, Different Deity
</gallery>
==Giving free intel to Russia for the updoots==
[[File:volunteersforukraine 5.jpg|thumb|Well done, Dmitry. You dumbfuck]]
It's one thing with having retards in an active warzone, but it's a whole different beast having retards in an active battlefield with phones and access to social media. Dipshit Pigbrained [[Jews|Ukrainian soldiers]] thought it was a good idea to document their [[buttsex|arduous struggles against the ebul ruskies]] by posting selfies on social media of them bunkering up in a school thus revealing their whereabouts to the enemies and getting themselves shelled to oblivion. Normally, [[Columbine|bombing schools]] is considered a [[gay|warcrime]] but the Pig-ranies shot themselves in the foot by showing that it's a soldiers' hideout and no longer a civilian building. Fantastic Job, Vlad. You deserve [[gulag|a medal]]. Apparently no one in recent history has heard of the phrase "loose lips sink ships". Hope the Reddit Gold was worth it.
[[File:Redditmoment.mp4|center]]
==#[[Slacktivism|StandWithUkraine]]==
Are you too much of a [[fag|coward]] to take arms and join the fight in [[Ukraine]]? Do you want to feel like you did something of substance [[slacktivism|but don't actually want to sit on the firing line]]? Then fear not! You can always help the poor and war-torn [[Ukraine|ookers]] from the comfort of your own home! Just follow these simple instructions and you too can engage in low-effort, low-energy, fully government sanctioned [[propaganda|agitprop]].
* Call [[Putin]] mean names on the internetz
* Call [[Putin]] [[Hitler|"Literally Hitler"]]
* Repost the same astroturfed image of [[Forced meme|Putin photoshopped into a monkey]]
* Join the Hashtag "#StandWithUkraine" even though you never heard of a "Ukraine" before and can't even point to it on a map.
* Paint a Ukrainian flag your face/ fingernails/ [[penis]]/ nu-vag with the caption "Slava Ukraini", [[Irony|despite it being a Pro-Nazi Ukrainian attempt to mimic the Nazi "Seig Heil" during WWII]]
* Make [[Over 9000|countless]] [[TikTok|Tiktok]] videos that say [[Retard|"Interact if u think Putin should die!111!1!!"]]
* Change your profile picture to be blue & yellow. Filters and frames recommended.
* Put a Ukrainian flag in your name and bio right next to the pronouns, gay flags, and BLM links
* Make up LARP stories about Jewkranian soldiers killing [[OVER 9000|ovar 6 trillion]] Russian soldiers using only a slingshot and dog poo
* Make slide threads on /pol/ and other boards on 4chan
* Grift off "the cause" (whatever that even means) and sell hoodies, bottles of OoogaBoogakranian piss, etc
==The Bombings of the Volunteers==
<div style="border:1px solid; float:right; clear:right; margin-bottom:0.5em; margin-left:1em; padding: 2px;">
{{Infobox military conflict
| conflict    = The Bombings of the Volunteers
| width      = 320px
| partof      = 2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine
| image      = YavorivAS.jpg
| image_size  = 320px
| alt        = Yavoriv military base, host to the Reddit Volunteers, post-bombing.
| caption    = Yavoriv military base, host to the Reddit Volunteers, post-bombing.
| date        = [[2022|March 13, 2022]]
| place      = [[Ukraine|Yavoriv, Ukraine]] and [[Ukraine|Starichi, Ukraine]]
| result      = Epic russian win, Reddit Foreign Legion retired, a lot of upvotes and Reddit Gold has been awarded, lulz, [[Reddit]] survivors flee to [[Poland]].
| combatants_header = Belligerents
| combatant1  = [[File:MiniflagRussia.png|20px|link=Russia]] [[Russia]] <br>
| combatant2  = [[File:MiniflagUkraine.jpg|20px|link=Ukraine]] [[Ukraine]] <br> [[File:Miniflag_Reddit.png|20px|link=Reddit]] [[Reddit]]
| commander1  = [[File:MiniflagRussia.png|20px|link=Russia]] [[Vladimir Putin]] <br> 
| commander2  = [[File:MiniflagUkraine.jpg|20px|link=Ukraine]] Vladimir Zelensky {{jew}} <br> [[File:Miniflag_Reddit.png|20px|link=Reddit]] [[Pussy|u/spindokto]]
| units1      = [[File:MiniflagRussia.png|20px|link=Russia]] 30 missiles <br> 
| units2      = [[File:Miniflag_Reddit.png|20px|link=Reddit]] 1000 volunteers
| casualties1 = [[File:MiniflagRussia.png|20px|link=Russia]] 30 missiles <br>
| casualties2 = [[File:Miniflag_Reddit.png|20px|link=Reddit]] 100+ deaths <br> [[File:Miniflag_Reddit.png|20px|link=Reddit]] [[Nobody Fucking Cares|a handful of casualties]]
}}</div>
[https://twitter.com/WarsontheBrink/status/1503039808821772296 After receiving surprise buttsecks from Russian missiles], [https://twitter.com/MapsUkraine/status/1503053336483876867 the surviving members of the Reddit Regiment realized that war against Russia wasn't some Battlefield or ARMA 3 match and fled to Poland]. [https://mobile.twitter.com/KaczynskiOhana/status/1503737123261800452 Even volunteers with IRL military experience realized that fighting a nuclear-armed global power without support was nothing like fighting (and somehow still losing to) poorly armed/trained sand niggers]. Since this means no more dead Redditors, the most one can hope for is that their consoomerist faggotry was bombed outta them and replaced with a healthy fear of God.
<gallery>
File:DedVols.jpg
File:DedVols2.jpg
File:Larpers_btfo_ukraine.png
File:The Reddit Foreign Legion.png
File:Hohol larpers owned.jpg|lmao
</gallery>
==Gallery==
{{cg|'''Modern-day Superheroes'''|fcgallery|center|<gallery>
File:thunderfoot ukraine.jpg|[[thunderf00t]] trying to pitch-in
File:thunderfoot ukraine wojak.jpg|too bad, [[wojak|wojaked]]
File:volunteersforukraine1.jpg|Self-inflicted [[An Hero|friendly fire]]
File:Volunteersforukraine2.jpg|Tunnel Rat
File:volunteersforukraine white women.jpg
File:volunteersforukraine hypocrisy.png|Worse than [[COVID-19]]!
File:volunteersforukraine 6.jpg|Does [[Faggot|warfag]] have to become a thing too?
File:volunteersforukraine4.jpg
File:standwithukraine in a nutshell.png
File:volunteersforukraine lesbians.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:volunteersforukraine 8.png
File:volunteersforukraine choose your fighter.png
File:Armchair cannon fodder.png
</gallery>|}}
==See Also==
* [[Ukraine]]
* [[Russia]]
* [[WWIII]]
* [[Slacktivism]]
{{Social Media}}
{{Social Justice}}
{{Goodguys}}
[[Category:Reddit]]
[[Category:2022]]
{{Timeline|Featured article March 8 and 9, [[2022]]|[[WWIII]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[McDonald's]]}}

Revision as of 02:08, 5 June 2022