Honey Boo Boo

Warning! HONEY BOO BOO IS COMING! ALL HANDS ON DECK! MAN THE HARPOONS!!!! BRING OUT THE VEGGIE DISH!!!!!!

Just...why...

Delicious cake

Honey Boo Boo (Alana Thompson; Runny Poo Poo; Money woo hoo) is a redneck, obese little girl who stars in her own reality show called "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". She's also a beauty pageant participant in here home state of Georgia. That fact alone explains why everything about and in Alana’s life can be described in one word: Fail.

Boo Boo’s personality is like a thirteen year old boy’s when playing Call of Duty, where she acts like a fucking snob because she has moar achievements than you or she is famous whilst you dwell in your mom’s basement, only to get pwnt five seconds later.

Show

Honey boo boo by age 30.

The “show”, if you could even call it that, revolves around the fucktarded life of a 7 year old redneck girl who happens to compete in beauty pageants. She is a “beauty queen”, because apparently overweight saggy undeveloped little girls are considered attractive in Georgia. So, as you can guess, all we watch is the typical drama that ensues around the household of the beauty bitch. The first episode sums it all up: “This is my crazy family”. Oh, and the writers are geniuses when it comes to naming the holiday themed episodes (A very boo Halloween; A very boo Christmas).

The only fans of this show are rednecks who admire their family values, and women (ZOMG HONIE BOO BOO IZ SOOO CUUTTEE!!!!!:D).

Family

June Shannon

June “Mamma” Shannon is the retarded fat douchette responsible for all this faggotry. She is the mastermind behind all of this child exploitation taking place. Also, she is a former “beauty queen” herself. She supports her inbred family by, you guessed it, abusing the alimony system. She had four children with four different people. June invented “Go Go Juice”, which is shoved down Boo Boo’s throat to get her focused during pageants. It consists a mixture of Red Bull and Mountain Dew. This has caused much drama, to which June replies “I could be givin ma daughtar worse things, like drugs or alcohol”. She also claims not to hate gays.

Mike Thompson

Mike “Sugar Bear” Thompson is June’s current husband (but not her last). Nobody gives a shit about him, so he can go fuck himself…

Sisters

Good god there’s more? Well, at least they aren’t as butt ugly as their little sis. Again, no one gives a fuck. They are all teenagers, so there you have their personalities. They seem to conclude the family evolution process of the Thompson/Shannon family: Ugly to meh to fugly.

Glitzy the Pig

Like all hillbillies, they have to have at least one livestock take the place of the family dog. Glitzy is just another gimmick to get retarded bitches into the show (OMG SOOOOOOO CUUUUUUUUUTE!1!1!1!1XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD).

Memorable Quotes

	“	My mother has told me in the past that if you fart 12 to 15 times a day you can lose a lot of weight, so I think I'm gonna lose a lot of weight because I'm gonna fart a lot.	„
	—Jessica

	“	My mama weighs the most in my family because she's fat. True.	„
	—Honey Boo Boo

	“	Our hair has always been washed in the kitchen sink.	„
	—June

	“	We're gonna make it a girl pig, so he's gonna be a little gay.	„
	—Honey Boo Boo describes their tranny pig

	“	There ain't nothin' wrong with bein' a little gay.	„
	—June, talking about her faggy brother in law

	“	It's so hot out here, I'm sweatin' like a whore in church. I mean it's like.. Man, I'm takin' a bath in my own sweat.	„
	—June

Honey Boo Boo's Mother Drawn on a Potato

See also

• Jerry Springer
• Fat
• Incest
• Paula Deen, another fattie with a TV show
• Redneck

Honey Boo Boo is part of a series on Television Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.