Cutefuzzypuppy: Difference between revisions

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Revision as of 14:44, 7 April 2014

Doesn't this faggot kinda look liek Chris-chan?

Jared Abrahams was a computer science student and full-time HackForums regular, a forum that is frequented by tryhards who don't have a clue but still want to make a name for themselves. For a while, he was the envy amongst an elite league of men who are destined to be virgins for life, preying on women who knew even less about computers than he did. Online, Jared went by the sinister handle cutefuzzypuppy, possibly based on a nickname that his mother gave him as a child as she often mistook him for the neutered family dog.

   
 
I don't think anyone can understand how lonely he's been for 20 years
 

 
 

—His mother, huge understatement

Miss Teen USA

A blonde. Surprised?

cutefuzzypuppy's rampage began when he consulted with the experts at HackForums about RATs, commonly referred to as Remote Administration Tools. And much to everyone's amazement, Jared managed to install one of these onto Cassidy Wolf's computer. To him, she was a girl that he went to school with, and to everyone else, Miss Teen USA. At some point he sent her an email, demanding that she strip for him on webcam, and her nudes to the Internet if she failed to comply. Miss Teen USA, unsure how to respond, asked her mother for advice, who in turn contacted the FBI.

Autistic rampage

While Wolf was the first pair of tits to be extracted by the malicious cutefuzzypuppy, his autistic-fueled spree had just got started. In a move that confirmed to everyone on HackForums just how astronomically improbable it was that Jared would ever see a twat in person, let alone the sound his name being whispered to him, he requested social engineering pointers so that he could expand his RAT collection. One must wonder if one of Jared's suppressed memories includes the discovery of a trap or two. Ultimately our autistic superhero managed to take control of over 100 computers, extorting nudes from at least 12 dumb broads in the process. He even coerced two into stripping in front of their webcam for him, something that most lifelong virgins will only achieve with large quantities of currency.

Oh snap

Mommy must be so proud of her little angel.

Sadly for Jared, Wolf's mother didn't share his enthusiasm and neither did the FBI. While he did figure out basic techniques on how to cover his tracks, such as using a VPN that doesn't store logs, common sense got the best of him when he registered an account with no-ip.org using his real name. This didn't go unnoticed by the FBI and a simple Google search for "cutefuzzypuppy" confirmed our pervert hero's identity. In court an amazing transformation took place as Jared Abrahams went from Internet tough guy to cry baby, apologizing to the camwhores that he sextored. His mother, feeling shame for her massive failure, also put on the waterworks, reminding the judge just how lonely her autistic wonder must have been. It take a special person to dedicate countless hours into monitoring all those webcams.

And it worked. The judge shortened his sentence to 18 months due to autism.

   
 
There are no words to describe what you did to my daughter
 

 
 

—Wolf's mother, apparently ungrateful for what he didn't do to her daughter

   
 
Everything I did was to have a feeling of a sense of involvement
 

 
 

—Jared Abrahams

YouTube

Miss Teen USA: I know 'sextortion' suspect
Arrest made in Miss Teen USA 'sextortion' case

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