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Jezebel: Difference between revisions
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*'''Everyone Else''' Jezebel writers are so alike you can't tell them apart. | *'''Everyone Else''' Jezebel writers are so alike you can't tell them apart. | ||
==Jezebel staff gets raped== | == Jezebel Dramas == | ||
====Kick the darkie to the curb==== | |||
One day the time came to replace the site's editor. The obvious coice to replace her was her second in command, but there was one problem: She's black. | |||
It's not that the cunts as Jezebel are a bunch of racist (yes they are), it's that if the owner of the site was black she would out-victim them and win all the "I'm more opressed" pissing contests. So obviously they had to hire a new white lady from outside to avoid this. | |||
====We are offering $10,000 to rebuild our self esteem==== | |||
When they are not bitching and moaning about [[patriarchy]] and stare rape, the writers of Jezebel enjoy whining about how so unfair it is that other women, generally those who are not insane, landwhale blog jockeys, are so much more beautiful than the staffers. In order to provide some sense of twisted vindication for this laughable jealousy, they have offered bounties for original, unretouched photos of models. When someone eventually decides that a few thousand dollars is worth risking their career, they offer up the pics; the writers then engage in the classic high school girl's game of "Look! She's not ''that'' pretty! Will you take me to dinner now?" To date, this tactic has proven unsuccessful (maybe because even without retouching any Hollywood starlet is still hotter than them). | |||
====Jezebel staff gets raped==== | |||
{{rainbowtiny|<big><big>OMFG GIF RAPE!</big></big>}} | {{rainbowtiny|<big><big>OMFG GIF RAPE!</big></big>}} | ||
Revision as of 18:11, 11 November 2014
Jezebel is the most overtly feminist branch of Gawker Media, originally edited by Jessica Coen✡. It is widely regarded to be a horrid abomination and hugbox for feminist extremists that could only exist in the current internets age where anything original, interesting or even slightly substantial in terms of content is all but unheard of. While independent thought has taken on an almost mythic quality, there exists a mind-numbing amount of sites bursting with clickbait to grant a sweet taste of instant gratification to the unwashed masses. Being renowned far and wide as the most inane and downright unprofessional online presence is no small feat in the age of Web 2.0; this is perhaps the only thing Jezebel can pride itself on, surpassing even Buzzfeed and fellow Gawker sites in terms of pure, unadulterated shittiness. The primary difference, however, is that while these sites can at least take heart in being light-hearted or "humorous," Jezebel takes itself way too fucking seriously and attempts to sally forth in a hilariously retarded social justice crusade.
"Writers"
- Lindy West Incredibly thin-skinned, which is a notable achievement for a woman of her girth. Got into a 'debate' with Jim Norton and got fucking owned.
- Isha Aran Smelly Indian that has completely abandoned anything resembling journalism and instead whines about cultural appropriation.
- Erin Gloria Ryan Used Paul Walker's death as an excuse to attention whore. Subsequently pwnt by old media whores.
- Mark Shrayber Token male homo to close that gender gap.
- Emily Gould Currently in therapy because Jimmy Kimmel made fun of her.
- Tracie Egan Wrote an article about how she paid a male prostitute to rape her because she's too fat to find a man that would do it for free. Later, in an interview, she said it was actually tthe site that had paid for it and that it was because SHE IS TOO SMART TO BE RAPED.
- Everyone Else Jezebel writers are so alike you can't tell them apart.
Jezebel Dramas
Kick the darkie to the curb
One day the time came to replace the site's editor. The obvious coice to replace her was her second in command, but there was one problem: She's black.
It's not that the cunts as Jezebel are a bunch of racist (yes they are), it's that if the owner of the site was black she would out-victim them and win all the "I'm more opressed" pissing contests. So obviously they had to hire a new white lady from outside to avoid this.
We are offering $10,000 to rebuild our self esteem
When they are not bitching and moaning about patriarchy and stare rape, the writers of Jezebel enjoy whining about how so unfair it is that other women, generally those who are not insane, landwhale blog jockeys, are so much more beautiful than the staffers. In order to provide some sense of twisted vindication for this laughable jealousy, they have offered bounties for original, unretouched photos of models. When someone eventually decides that a few thousand dollars is worth risking their career, they offer up the pics; the writers then engage in the classic high school girl's game of "Look! She's not that pretty! Will you take me to dinner now?" To date, this tactic has proven unsuccessful (maybe because even without retouching any Hollywood starlet is still hotter than them).
Jezebel staff gets raped
At one point, the kind residents of the internet decided to give Jezebel what it loves most: Rape.
Their comment section was flooded with gifs of rape porn which was very "triggering" for them, sp (in classic Gawker logic) they started writing attack articles about their own parent company for not doing anything about it.
Literally untraceable.
Videos
Journalism for the womenz
Quality Articles About missing Pics
[Expand Gallery]
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See also
External Links
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Jezebel is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |
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Jezebel is part of a series on Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage. |
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Jezebel is part of a series on Visit the Sites Portal for complete coverage. |