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| | == '''<span style="font-size:larger;">'''<span style="font-size:larger;">'''BALEET THE [[Icewillow9|ICEWILLOW9]] ARTICLE RIGHT NOW OR I WILL TAKE DOWN ED AGAIN'''</span>'''</span>''' == |
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| | | FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT |
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| YO:
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| PUT EVERQUEST II SHIT ON THE EVERQUEST II PAGE
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| EVERQUEST I/LIVE SHIT GOES ON THIS PAGE
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| KEEP WORLD OF WARCRAFT SHIT ON THE WORLD OF WARCRAFT PAGE
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| JOHN SMEDLEY IS BALD
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| THANKS
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| <div style="color:#03AB03; text-align:center; text-decoration:blink;"><font size="3"><font size="5">You've ruined your own lands, you'll not ruin ours!</font></font></div>
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| [[Image:PokerGame_EQ.jpg|thumb|Play poker as a level 65 Barbarian warrior who is a member of The Holy Order of Teqiloqqrfi'olis.]]
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| [[Image:Everquest_Firiona_Vie.png|thumb|The game's [[Slut|mascot]].]]
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| [[Image:Evercrack.jpg|thumb|right|It ruins lives, you know.]]
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| '''EverQuest''' is a [[fantasy]]-based [[MMORPG]] owned by [[SOE]] and designed by an opium addict that allows character creation and simulated fights against [[dragons]] and other nonsensical things. Since its appearance into the world the role-playing game now has such nicknames as ''Evercrack"'', ''"Sheep Fucker Extravaganza"'', ''"[[Zionist Crap Fest]]"'', ''"Elf Fisting"'', and ''"I Have Not Seen Sun In 30 Days"''. Much of it was also developed by known [[Christfag]] and [[drug]]gie, [[Brad McQuaid]].
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| The most notable thing about the ''EverQuest'' online game is the player base. ''EverQuest'' players are the only known species to survive solely on Mountain Dew and Frito-Lay chips. Also, no ''EverQuest'' player has ever had contact with another human, even their parents. They are [[otherkin|elusive creatures]] who only come out of the woodwork to make junk food runs. Somehow, without jobs or social contacts, they still have the means to pay the <strike>$3,213.53/month access fee</strike>...it's free to play now ([[Cash Items#Everquest|sort of]]).
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| When the competition gets fierce, it may become necessary to play for several hours on end with no sleep or break. There's a chance that you'll [http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=31536 kill yourself] like [[Shawn Woolley]] did, but it's ''totally'' worth it.
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| Many of the players are known to practice [[black]] [[magick]], even though none succeed or even have any idea what black magic is. Although pretending you're a level 77 necromancer that is frog/tiger/drow really comes in handy in the [[real world]]. A good example is [http://www.notaddicted.com/fansythefamous.php Fansy the famous bard].
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| The game even managed to get a city-wide holiday on March 16 in [[San Diego]], called [http://www.tentonhammer.com/node/65256 SOE Day], since the game has been around for ten years and they haven't fucked up, like, say, [[Tabula Rasa|NCSoft]].
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| There was a sequel released, called [[EverQuest II|'''''EverQuest II: Ceciliantas' Revenge''''']] but it some say it sucks because there's [http://www.livejournal.com/community/everquest/535972.html#cutid1 "still no frog monks"]. However, it's still a [[EQ2Flames|bastion of drama, as seen on EQ2Flames]].
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| <br><br>
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| ==Gameplay==
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| [[Image:Mayong_mistmoore_everquest.png|thumb|The vampire demigod, Mayong Mistmoore, will kick your ass.]]
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| ''EverQuest'''s gameplay basically helped spawn every other shitty MMORPG out there, except EQ's much more hardcore because you don't get the [[Juggalo|hatchet of fukken slaying]] by clicking one button like you do in [[WoW]] or [[EQ2]]. Besides typical combat, you have the raids, which consist of grabbing as many other [[losers]] like [[you]] as possible and going after a fucking huge dragon, owlbear, [[Canadian]], or some other mythical beast that [[Pagans]] finger themselves to. There's also selling ingame swords and [[Batshit|bat feces]] for [[Jew gold|platinum]], [[Spore|creating things]] for other players, and joining guilds, which usually propel some of the largest amounts of [[drama]] in the game. (That's because guilds involve every other aspect of EQ, except amplified by [[100]]%.)
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| ''EverQuest'' also had a highly exploitable feature where Non-Player Character (NPC) aggro was transferrable to other players and could only be wiped by one of four ways: you move out of the zone where the creature spawns, you have an enchanter wipe his mem, you're a Monk or Shadowknight with the feign death ability, or you die. This feature provided many [[lulz]] for those who knew how to work the system and the ensuing carnage created were affectionately called Trains. ''EverQuest'' was the last MMORPG to have this feature as other pussy games such as [[WOW]] allowed the NPCs to "forget" they hated the player way too easily and helped become part of the cancer that is killing online games.
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| ''EverQuest'' allows you to bind your spawn point. Unlike the current crop of faggy games like [[WOW]], you had to really think hard about where you wanted to re-spawn in case of player death. If your bind spot was too close to a [[Fat whore|hostile NPC]] you could end up repeatedly dying, spawning and dying again repeatedly and losing experience every time, effectively de-leveling yourself to level 1. [[rape|Good times]]!
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| In addition, ''EverQuest'' [[BSDM|punished players severely for dying]]. If you died in ''EverQuest'', you spawned at your last bind point completely [[Rule 34|naked]] and missing experience. Your task now was to run without armor, weapons, spell components to where your broken corpse is and loot your own corpse to retrieve your items. [[Plz|Alternatively, you could spam general begging people for help or for a cleric to resurrect you.]]
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| If you couldn't find a [[Christian|cleric]] to [[Jesus|resurrect]] you before you looted your corpse completely, your experience was gone [[Pwned|FOREVER]] until you [[Work|busted your ass to get it back]]. [[Old|Fucking kids today, don't know how hard it was in the old days.]]
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| Because of whiny [[13-year-old boy|WoWfags]], the game is ''very watered-down'' now.
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| ==Cities==
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| [[Image:Erudin_library.jpg|thumb|right|The epitome of [[boring]]: the library.]]
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| [[Image:Barack_EverQuest.jpg|thumb|right|[[Barack Obama]] parties in EQ.]]
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| There are multiple cities within ''EverQuest'' where player characters can travel to and reside in. Each have some of the most [[What|disturbing]] lore ever found in a fantasy game.
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| *'''[[Europe|Qeynos]]''' - The first thing [[Anonymous|one]] should notice is that "Qeynos" is actual [[Sony|"Sonyeq"]] backwards, which automatically makes it [[lol]]. The city was founded by Antonius Bayle in the year [[2012|3000]], and eventually his son renamed the continent "Antonica" [[Unwarranted self-importance|after himself and his father]]. Eventually, Antonius Bayle IV became king, and now leads the city. Despite the peaceful, moral-bound qualities of the city, [[women]] are told to stay in the [[kitchen]].
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| *'''[[New Orleans|Freeport]]''' - The savanna city that lies within the [[Sudan|Commonlands]], and a popular [[Disney|tourist spot]]. Unfortunately, the crime rate is high, especially at the docks because that's where the [[Niggers|pirates]] are. The place is pretty much a [[police state]] and the [[poor]] and the [[Blacks|minorities]] are beaten daily by the [[cops]]. Sir Lucan D'Lere and the [[Fisting|Fist]] of Marr bitch over who gets to rule the city. [[Faggot|Guess who wins]].
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| *'''[[Africa|Cabilis]]''' - Located on the Kunark continent. Home of the famous iksar, which are ''"an evil, reptilian race whose members often engage in torture and the capture of slaves, much akin to the Nazis''" according to [http://www.bookrags.com/wiki/Thule_Society#The_Thule_Society_in_popular_culture this article on the Thule Society]. The iksar usually get [[pwned]] by their own slaves, and rise to power over and over again. When their slaves can no longer work, [[vore|they are ''eaten'' by the iksar]].
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| *'''[[Greece|Erudin]]''' - The [[Nigeria|Erudites]] live in this seaside city full of marble buildings. There's also a library that has every book, ever. Even ''[[Twilight]]''.
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| *'''[[Hitler|Felwithe]]''' - The high elf city, and an anagram of [[White power|"white elf"]]. Everyone there is [[rich]] and it's a [[Germany|utopia]]. However, they're all [[inbred]].
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| *'''[[Future|Ak'Anon]]''' - A city of gnomes that is underneath the Steamfont Mountains. Very much like Central Park, Ak'Anon has a zoo that no one gives a shit about. It has three animals that are constantly slaughtered for experience. It is also notable for being a town that isn't for pussies, being that it has roaming skeletons hungry for brains in its lower parts. Eventually the [[robots]] revolt and take over.
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| *'''[[Brazil|Gukta]]''' - This [[Semen|hot, humid, and sticky]] land has the largest population of [[Battletoads]], which are always at war with the [[trolls]]. (Yes, that's exactly what it sounds like.)<br>
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| *'''[[Elfwood|Kelethin]]''' - The perfect place for any [[hippie]], because it's in the trees. This is where the wood elves and [[PETA]] members are found.
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| *'''[[Norway|Halas]]''' - In every fantasy story, there will always be the icy north. This is it. Halas always reeks of beer because the barbarians live here. Many of them are [[atheists]] because they don't have time for religion. They just need their beer.
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| *'''[[Vikings|Kaladim]]''' - This is where the dwarves live. Like barbarians, dwarves enjoy drinking. They are [[conservatives]] who hate nature and prefer to mine and make shit all the time.
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| *'''[[Nazi|Neriak]]''' - The dark elf city that is underground, [[America|and is the most evilest place in the world]].
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| *'''[[Canada|Surefall Glade]]''' - Built in the [[Alaska|middle of nowhere]], this city houses humans and half elves who get killed all the time by [[DisneyFan01|thieves]].
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| *'''[[Alien|Shar Vahl]]''' - Furfag central. [[Awesome|Luckily for us, it explodes]].
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| *'''[[Pain series|Paineel]]''' - Where the evil erudites go.
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| *'''[[Lulz|Oggok]]''' - You thought [[America]] had the highest [[obesity]] rate? Any place with [[Ugly|ogres]] will obviously surpass America. [[Why do you hate America?|That's why we hate it.]]
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| ==Races in ''EverQuest''==
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| [[Image:Sandgiant.jpg|thumb|right|[[Typical]] EQ gameplay.]]
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| ''EverQuest'' features a bunch of playable races, and all of them suck. Except for the [[Extreme advertising|motherfucking]] [[Battletoads|froglok]].
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| *'''Humans''' - Like every other MMORPG, humans in ''EverQuest'' have the generic, well-rounded stats, but they are also in power: for example, [[Fag|Kane Bayle]] of Qeynos.
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| *'''Barbarians''' - Similar to humans, except these guys are [[steroids|really, really, huge]]. Like the dwarves, they both are always drunk. Always.
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| *'''High Elves''' - Pompous, arrogant, and snooty [[Aryan]] jerks. None of them live in poverty whatsoever, [[KKK|probably because they're all white]]. Firiona Vie is one of these.
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| *'''Wood Elves''' - [[Hippies]]. They are the type to prance about in the woods, nuzzling deer and bitch about [[global warming]].
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| *'''Half-Elves''' - Sporting more piercings than your average [[BME]] user, the Half-Elves enjoy shopping at [[Hot Topic]] and cutting themselves.
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| *'''Dark Elves''' - By far the most popular race. They prefer to be filled with [[Nazi|hatred, and only hatred,]] and threatening everyone they see. Too bad they're only about five feet tall and [[Black|purple-skinned]].
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| *'''Halflings''' - Hobbits that go [[batshit insane]] when they don't have their daily dose of [[Jenkem|jumjum]].
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| [[Image:Froglok.jpg|thumb|left|[[Battletoads|MOTHERFUCKING BATTLETOAD]].]]
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| *'''[[Vikings|Dwarves]]''' - The [[Norway|northmen]] who wield axes, drink beer, and grow beards regardless of gender.
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| *'''Gnomes''' - Many players who choose this race think they are the most [[Unfunny|hilarious things ever.]] What's hilarious is that they resemble their players: greasy-haired [[basement dwellers]].
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| *'''[[Trolls]]''' - Frequent EQ by posting unrelated material, not bathing, and eating [[fried chicken]].
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| *'''Ogres''' - [[You|Obese morons]]. [[At least 100|At least 100%]] of the time, Ogre player-characters will be named something [[retarded]] such as "Bonekrusha," "Bludrinkar," or "Snotbooger.".
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| *'''Iksars''' - A race of [[dinosaur|lizardmen terrorists]] that live in the jungle and [[Eat attack|eat everything]].
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| *'''[[Yiff|Vah Shir]]''' - Anthro cats that become [[Raped|extinct]] in EQ2, but were soon replaced by the equally shitty [[cat|kerra]] in the sequel. Many players who choose these races are unaware of the [[furry]] fandom, and would probably [[Delete fucking everything|reroll]] if they learned of it.
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| *'''[[Blacks|Erudites]]''' - The [[Nigeria|Nigerians]] who are actually extreme intelligent. They also enjoy reading [[Harry Potter|books]] and being all pretentious about it.
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| *'''[[Battletoads|Frogloks]]''' - Obnoxious, snobby pricks who talk like bad [[LARP|LARPers]] and are always at war with [[trolls]] and [[pirates]].
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| *'''Drakkin''' - The newest race of humans that have been [[Molest|touched]] by [[dragons]]. Therefore, they have weird [[Shitty art|markings]] smeared on them along with horns. But [[nobody cares]].
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| ==Classes==
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| [[Image:Dark_elf_cleric.jpg|thumb|right|100px|Note the ridiculous gauntlets and boots.]]
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| [[Image:Wickerman-pagans.jpg|thumb|right|A gang of druids using [[portals]] to summon another player.]]
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| ''EverQuest'' has a bunch of classes, but nowhere as much as [[EverQuest II|its sequel]].
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| *'''[[Shit bands|Bards]]''' - [[You|A class that does everything, but not necessarily good at anything.]] For some reason they wear plate armor, and even has a song that [[Eat attack|cures hunger]]. Playing this class will give you [[Disease|carpal tunnel]].
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| *'''[[Beastlords]]''' - A class that only [[100]] people like. It's a class that summons [[NeoPets|pets]], and the species depends on the character's [[race]]. Fans of this class go at [[Trying too hard|great lengths]] to get them added in EQ2, and [[fail]].
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| *'''[[ADHD|Berserkers]]''' - ADHD-riddled [[vikings]] that swing axes around like [[Seizure|epileptic]] seagulls, and have no other use at all. When not wielding axes, they will [[rip and tear]].
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| *'''[[Priest|Clerics]]''' - The [[typical]] healing class. They suck at fighting but make up for it by fixing everyone else's [[butthurt]]. Whenever a cleric logs in, they will be flooded with private messages asking for them to [[Sex|group]].
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| *'''[[Pagan|Druids]]''' - The second-best healers. Besides calling upon the powers of Captain Planet, they are masters of using [[portals]] as transportation, and doing a fair amount of damage. Basically, this class can [[Masturbation|solo]] pretty well... and they're overused.
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| *'''[[ADD|Enchanters]]''' - By using [[Porygon|flashing lights]], this class can distract monsters and prevent them from attacking [[noobs]]. They're basically crowd control. [[IRL]], they are part of [[Cops|riot patrol]].
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| *'''[[Wicca|Magicians]]''' - With the help of their [[Pokemon|familiars]], magicians will [[pwn]] anything that comes their away. When played by children, the familiars will be always named after a Pokémon.
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| *'''[[Japan|Monks]]''' - Kung-fu fighters who wear leather and can [[troll]] monsters by pretending to be dead. Only iksar and humans can be monks, pissing off legions of animu-loving elf fantards.
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| *'''[[Goth|Necromancers]]''' - Aside from summoning [[vampires]] and [[zombies]], Necromancers can also do a lot of damage over time. They can also turn into a lich to regain [[Diablo 2|mana when they don't have enough.]] Only the worst of basement dwellers play as them.
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| *'''[[Christian|Paladins]]''' - Tanks that can kind of heal. Most notably, they run around with crosses everywhere and kill [[Muslims|the infidels]] in the name of [[Jesus|Marr]]!
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| *'''[[Power Rangers|Rangers]]''' - Archers that live in the woods, making sure [[White trash|poachers]] don't come in and ruin [[Shit nobody cares about|everything]] for everyone else. ''[[Lord of the Rings]]'' fanboys are huge fans of this class.
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| *'''[[Thief|Rogues]]''' - Thieves that [[trap]] people and steal their money. They also pick locks, making it useful for [[lazy]] fucks to get by in the game. Too bad they can't get into a [[friends only]] journal.
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| *'''[[Black metal|Shadowknights]]''' - They are able to piss off multiple people at once by using [[hardcore]] [[Metal (music)|metal]] skills and also being able to pretend to be dead, by using their corpse paint and spiked armor.
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| *'''[[Shamwow|Shamans]]''' - The shittiest healer class, but make up for it for being able to turn monsters into [[Slowpoke]]s. [[Trolls]] make the best shamans because they can not only do the Slowpoke attack, but also [[Terri Schiavo|prevent enemies from moving]].
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| *'''[[Badass|Warrior]]''' - The typical fighter class that keeps the attention of monsters away from the [[gimp|"squishies"]]. They prefer to kick ass all the time and wield oversized [[Dongs|weapons]].
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| *'''[[Harry Potter|Wizards]]''' - The typical mage class that blows shit up within five seconds. They are the most responsible for causing [[retarded]] [[drama]] involving stealing monsters from other players.
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| ==Expansions==
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| [[Image:EverQuest_-_The_Ruins_of_Kunark.png|thumb|right|Some [[yiff]] will soon occur.]]
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| [[Image:Goblin_ship.jpg|thumb|right|[[Lazytown|YOU ARE A PIRATE]]!]]
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| [[Image:Champions_of_norrath.jpg|thumb|right|You gonna get [[raped]].]]
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| ''EverQuest'' has way too many fucking expansions. There's [[at least 100|15 of them]]. Some are [[win]] and some are [[fail]], obviously, and each have a lulzy quality about them.
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| *''The Ruins of Kunark''
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| The iksar are introduced here, and more [[seizure|colors]] are added. It's considered the greatest MMORPG expansion of all time, because Firiona Vie is being molested by an iksar on the cover.
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| *''The Scars of Velious''
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| Players travel to [[Canada|Antarctica]] to fight dragons. Nothing special.
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| *''The Shadows of Luclin''
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| [[Furries]] are added. There are multiple controversies including [[Lulz|shit that didn't work]], less role-playing shit, and [[fugly]] new player models.
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| *''The Planes of Power''
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| With this expansion, people can take [[acid]] trips and go to alternate dimensions populated by the [[Pagan|gods]]. It had the same problems as the Luclin expansion.
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| *''The Legacy of Ykesha''
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| For [[Anonymous|us]], this expansion is awesome because the [[Battletoads|frogloks]] make their debut. It also became the first ''EQ'' expansion ever to be purchased online - that way, [[basement dwellers]] didn't have to leave their respective [[Basement|homes]].
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| *''Lost Dungeons of Norrath''
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| Gameplay in this expansion includes gathering five other fucktards and slaughtering shit in [[BSDM|dungeons]]. It was either [[Mudkips|liked]] or [[DO NOT WANT|hated]]. ''[[EverQuest II]]'' basically repeats this in their drug-ridden "The Shadow Odyssey" expansion.
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| *''Gates of Discord''
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| [[Shit]]. Even the CEO of Sony Online Entertainment apologized and called it a mistake. They even held a [[con]] to address what went wrong.
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| *''Omens of War''
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| Was delayed after the screw-up of the previous expansion. It introduced [[Ventrilo Harassment|voice macros]] that people use to troll with.
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| *''Dragons of Norrath''
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| Basically LDON: the sequel, except it adds to previous expansions. More [[shit nobody cares about]].
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| *''Depths of Darkhollow''
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| After donning a [[fursuit]], players can explore dungeons and help their [[noob]] friends.
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| *''Prophecy of Ro''
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| Along with the typical new zones, player-made [[Trap|traps]] are included.
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| *''The Serpent's Spine''
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| The Drakkin and [[World of Warcraft|more solo options]] added.
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| *''The Buried Sea''
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| [[Social networking]] along with raiding [[pirate]] ships.
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| *''Secrets of Faydwer''
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| [[Steampunk]] dragons! FUCK YEAH!
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| *''Seeds of Destruction''
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| Hire [[slaves]] in order to do shit for you!
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| *''The Underfoot''
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| <font size=5>GIANTS!</font>
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| *''House of Thule''
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| [[Cthulhu|Lovecraft]]-themed expansion with a fuck-ton of raids, released in late 2010.
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| ==Drama==
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| [[Image:Shawn_Woolley.jpg|thumb|right|[[Shawn Woolley]].]]
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| [[Image:Baby_firiona.JPG|thumb|right|[[How is babby formed?]]]]
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| While there's a massive amount of drama and lulz surrounding this [[MMORPG]], a few examples will be provided here for now.
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| ===Shawn Woolley===
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| One of the biggest dramatic events involved the [[suicide]] of a player, Shawn Woolley. He killed himself on Thanksgiving of [[2001]] while the game was still running. Shawn's mother broke down his apartment door with a crowbar and found him dead with the game on the computer. '''[[Shawn Woolley|(Click for moar...)]]'''
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| ===Mystere===
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| A [[Pedo|disturbing]] [[fanfiction]] was created in 2000, about an underage Dark Elf slave named [[French|Mystere]], who gets brutally raped by her iksar master, Xyth, who goes so far as to [[Guro|'''cut her labia to provide more lubrication''']] - and Mystere poisons him by scratching his back with poison-painted fingernails during [[orgasm]]. The author was [[ban|banned]], but was soon let back into the game with another account, and had [[Tranny|his/her]] money refunded. People took sides: support the [[rape]][[Fanfiction|fic]] author or support the company that doesn't like their [[fandom]] being turned into disturbing shit? People cried "[[Censorship]]!" or just lol'd at the whole situation. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystere_incident It made it on Wikipedia,] [http://www.pvponline.com/2000/10/09/mon-oct-09/ PvP did a webcomic story arc on it,] and [http://stationblog.wordpress.com/2006/02/16/virtual-jail/ Smedley mentioned it six years later.] '''[[EverQuest/Mystere|(You know you want to read this...)]]'''
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| ===Baby Firiona Vie===
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| [http://www.joystiq.com/2005/03/28/baby-named-after-everquest-character/ Two ''EverQuest'' players met IRL, got married, and had a baby] in [[2005]]. They named her after ''EverQuest'''s mascot (the blonde high elf [[slut]],) Firiona Vie. Lulz exploded in the MMORPG community. While the name wasn't nearly as bad as [[Final Fantasy|Sephiroth]] or [[Transformers|Optimus Prime]], it's still [[Lulz|lulzy]] that the name came from a video game.
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| ===[[So cash|Station Cash]]===
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| [[SOE]] decided to troll their fans and make [http://www.eq2flames.com/general-gameplay/37296-station-cash.html Station Cash], a type of virtual currency that can be bought with IRL money. Many threatened to [[flounce|leave EQ forever]], but most didn't and stayed in the game, bitching about how [[Jewish]] SOE was. Apparently SOE's CEO, John Smedley, thought real-money-transactions meant buying and selling virtual [[crap]] between other players. Either way, whether you like him or not, he trolled EQ (and EQ2) so bad that the butthurt turned out to be the equivalent of [[1man1jar]].
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| ==Trolling ''EverQuest''fags==
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| [[Image:Smedley_with_hair.jpg|thumb|right|My name is [[John]], and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day playing a stupid ass game.]]
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| Since they are part of an obvious [[cult]], ''EverQuest'' players take any criticism of their favorite game [[Srs|seriously]] and will resort to biting your throat and drinking all your blood. If you have the proper [[Condom|protection]], trolling ''EverQuest'' fans can be a rewarding experience. Here's just a few great ways to piss them off:
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| *Mention anything about ''[[World of Warcraft]]'' - the subscriber numbers, the features, anything. Even ''EverQuest II'' players are less [[batshit]] when WoW is brought up in a conversation.
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| *Say that if you met [[John]] [[Smedley]] [[IRL]], you'd high five him.
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| *Tell them that ''[[EverQuest II]]'' is better. Many EQ1 players consider EQ2 [[canon]] [[rape]] because the developers decided to make another MMORPG based off of it. This can also be done by replacing EQ2 with ''Champions of Norrath'', a single-player game based off of the EQ series, but this is nowhere as effective.
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| *Play as an Erudite and talk in [[ebonics]].
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| *Play as a Vah Shir or Iksar and ask people to [[yiff]]; this works best as a Vah Shir however, since most furries prefer creatures that actually have fur.
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| *Tell them how awesome [[So cash|Station Cash]] is.
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| *Say that [[Murloc|Merloc]] is the best developer when it comes to creating items. (Merloc uses a dartboard when coming up with ideas for said items.)
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| *Hop around as a [[Battletoads|froglok]] and spout off retarded [[memes]]. You ''will'' get told to go back to [[4chan]].
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| *As a druid, abuse the [[portals]] and try to lag people out of the game. Bonus points if you crash the entire zone.
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| *Ask to raid Kerafyrm the Sleeper. This dragon has been dead for years, and after it was killed, no [[uber]] [[Shit|lewt]] was dropped. [[Pandemonium Warden|Square-Enix repeated this in their own MMO]].
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| ==Project 1999==
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| An emulated project designed to [[nolife|replicate]] ''EverQuest'' to it's [[impossible|original 1999 standard]], in other words a gigantic hub for the unemployed to be total [[basement-dweller|basement dwelling]] [[you|fags]] all over again. The project is run by [[lolcow|Rogean]], a 21 year old virgin who collects AdSense money in order to finance his plethora of shit cars and Vegas trips. The server hosts it's own forums found here: [http://www.project1999.org/ - P99 forums] which attracts a large number of [[trolls]], [[manchild]], [[attention whores]] and [[pedophiles]] who all like to pretend they are [[13 year old boys]].
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| Large amounts of [[rage]] are to be found on the forums as the whole collective group of [[virgins]] are cock sucking [[retards]] that like to spend their leisure time arguing about who hit what dragon first and white knighting for the small group of E-pussy that likes to [[prostitot]] for l337 items, even with the absence of posting [[tits]] it's still fucking [[fail]]. It could be summed up that this project is one gigantic fail boat of bad coding, [[unwarranted self-importance]] and forced [[meme]] usually in the form of spamming "[[u mad]]" in every topic.
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| The best ways to [[rape]] the inhabitants of the EMU is by actually playing the damn game, just by simply logging you're bound to be spammed relentlessly with incoherent nerd rage and petitions, [[banned]] immediately, and have your [[dox]] dropped on the forums for ruining some [[aspies]] play time cause you stole their [[phat lewt]], or simply join a raiding guild and cry about people being a gigantic fucking [[pussy]].
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| ==P99 players you SHOULD know==
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| '''Staff'''
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| *Rogean - Virginfag that manages the sever, routinely power trips and bans everything and anything that is actually lulzy.
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| *Nilbog - Project manager does mostly coding and one could say doesn't give a [[fuck]].
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| *Uthgaard - [[Basement dweller]] That NEVER logs off, spends most of his time looking for reasons to ban [[you]].
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| *Cyrius - [[Nazi|German]] who loves to power trip, talks shit about other staff via IRC then goes into [[denial]].
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| *Aasimon - Forum moderator that likes to [[delete fucking everything]] you ever wrote about anything.
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| Staff members are constantly in one epically long war with several trolls, some say it will go on til the second coming of [[Christ]].
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| '''Trolls'''
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| *Raren - Continuously shovels xanax down his throat and posts threads trying to incite guild drama, generally unfunny but highly obnoxious.
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| *Zyvixious - Raren's [[Mexican]] cousin that fails at the English language, simply rolls his face across the keyboard to generate insults.
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| *Abacab - Has been banned [[over 9000]] times since last week for being a [[GTFO|fucking nigger]].
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| *Tralina - an [[whore|empowered female]] who spends her days jiggling her E-tits for loot and flying out to fuck [[bears]].
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| *Hasbinbad - Hasbin[[FAG]] is a user who has accrued thousands of [[cocksucker|pretentious]] [[abortions|posts]] and not a single one actually [[fail|funny]].
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| *Barkingturtle - [[Internet tough guy]] who claims to have a [[lie|HEUG PENIS]] claims to have a hot [[lie|wife]] who he met on a [[lol|gaming message board]].
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| *Ralph - A fucking Jew who made $3,000 after 10 months of killing goblins, by [[basement-dweller|playing only an hour a day]].
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| *Loke - Dashingly [[fat|attractive ]] monk whose [[unwarranted self-importance|good looks]] are surpassed only by his [[faggotry|charm]]. [[no|Men want to be him]], [[lie|women want to be with him]].
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| *Nalkin - Like the [[lie|44th best mage]] on the server or some shit like that, takes people on [[rape|boat]] rides and is primarily seen with his [[tranny]] sidekick [[Hitler|Kimmie]]
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| *Yiblaan - Some fucking Jew who has a penchant for [[cock|fun]], has made several [[retarded|successful]] guilds.
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| *Akyra - Some [[scene|vegan]] E-slut that pumps the dicks of several [[fat|hot]] gamers for [[attention|items]]
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| Everyone else can be assumed non-important because they actually have lives.
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| ==EverGallery==
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| {{cg|DPS INCOMING|everquestgallery|center|<gallery>
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| Image:Everquest_realdoll.jpg|An EQ sex doll!
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| Image:Everquest_ten_years.jpg|Ten years of this?
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| Image:Firiona_vie_cosplay.jpg|[[Cosplay]] time.
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| Image:Ovorquost.JPG|''[[Woll Smoth|OverQuost]]'': Yor on oor world now!
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| </gallery>|<gallery>
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| Image:Everquest_Firiona_Vie_light.jpg|[[fap|Fap fap fap...]]
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| Image:EverQuest_Firiona_Vie_necrorape.jpg|Necromancers sure are evil.
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| Image:Firehooves.jpg|[[What]] the fuck is this shit?
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| Image:Ziska.png|[[Boobs|DAAAAYUMMM]]!
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| Image:Timecards.jpg|Jackpot.
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| Image:Everquest_dick.jpg|Spiked [[dicks]] are [[awesome]]!
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| Image:Mucktail.jpg|[[Plastic crap]], fuck yeah!
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| Image:Everquest_skeletons.jpg|[[Pro-ana]] monsters are aggressive in EQ.
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| Image:Everquest_secret_postcard.jpg|Want the [[uber]] lootz? Trade your wife's vagina for some!
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| Image:Ruins_of_kunark_comic.GIF|The ''Ruins of Kunark'' comic. Hawt.
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| Image:Epic_fail_halfling.JPG|[[EFG]] as a halfling.
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| File:Everquest.jpg
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| File:Eq sontalak.jpg
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| File:Priest of discord.jpg
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| File:Ayonae ro.png
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| </gallery>}}
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| ==[[YouTube]] Videos of ''EverQuest''==
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| <center>{{Frame|{{fv|eqvids|background-color: #69BEFF;|font-weight: bold;|
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| <youtube>SpaM_UVD4vI</youtube>
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| <center>'''''EverQuest'' turns ten party with furry rave. Also, Tom Green.'''</center>|
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| <youtube>AKDkvy9sKuY</youtube>
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| <center>'''''"Has anybody here seen my corpse?"'''''</center>|
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| <youtube>M7K-qrM3OVQ</youtube>
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| <center>'''The ''EverCracked!'' documentary trailer.'''</center>|
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| <youtube>ywpV6mPF6zQ</youtube>
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| <center>'''Now with the oldest meme of all time: WASSAP?!'''</center>|
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| <youtube>ym9hIEbnijw</youtube>
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| <center>'''The original intro movie from 1999.'''</center>|
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| <youtube>yhCm8E2DMXM</youtube>
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| <center>'''''EverQuest'' <sub>(and ''World of Warcraft'')</sub>: EVIL GAMES'''</center>|
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| <youtube>49NaCgOicV4</youtube>
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| <center>'''Sex or camp monsters for epic swords?'''</center>
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| }}|border=#69BEFF|background=#69BEFF}}</center>
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| ==See Also==
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| *[[MMORPG]]
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| **''[[EverQuest II]]''
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| **''[[World of Warcraft]]''
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| **''[[Ultima Online]]''
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| **''[[Free Realms]]''
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| *[[Sony Online Entertainment]]
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| **[[Brad McQuaid]]
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| *[[Cash Items]]
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| *[[D&D]]
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| *[[Role-playing]]
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| *[[Elfwood]]
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| *[[Shawn Woolley]]
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| *[[EQ2Flames]]
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| *[[no life]]
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| *[[user:Pink_Poodle|Pink Poodle]]
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| *[[Steam]]
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| *[[Fansy the Famous Bard]]
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| ==External Links==
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| * [http://www.everquest.com/ Official website.]
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| * [http://forums.station.sony.com/eq/forums/list.m Official forums. Expect one minor change to bring about 100 pages of threads.]
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| * [http://eqplayers.station.sony.com/index.vm EQPlayers, official site used for finding tl;dr info about every player's leet stats.]
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| * [http://everquest.allakhazam.com/ Allakhazam site. Expect a lot of drama over the correct +str stat of the Amulet of Exploding.]
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| * [http://www.massively.com/2009/03/02/massively-celebrates-10-years-of-everquest/ 10 years? OH LAWD!]
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| {{oldweb}}
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| {{MMORPGs}}
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| {{Timeline|Featured article April 5, [[2009]]|[[Lulzcast]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Barry Bonds]]}}
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| [[Category:Cliques]][[Category:Fandom Stuff]][[Category:Gaming]]
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