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Shitty Attack Article: Difference between revisions

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Revision as of 04:58, 14 January 2015

This is a fake article about a fake person with fake dox. It is a satirical jab at those who write shitty attack articles on ED. Having been explained, it is no longer funny.


   
 
I love you.
 

 
 

—Whore

   
 
I don't like anyone nearly as much as they supposedly like me.
 

 
 

—Faggot

   
 
sakjhdfjfgopjlkt
 

 
 

—Bitch

My ex-girlfriend is nothing more than your typical, everyday, run-of-the-mill internet attention whore who's known for uploading multiple pics of herself to various websites in a valiant, yet sad and always failed attempt to get other humans to actually like her.

Despite how hard she undoubtedly tries, it seems as if no one ever has (or ever will for that matter). She chooses to numb the pain with various horrible smelling pets and a life full of actively scanning r9k for contact threads containing weak betafaggots whom she may have a small chance of enticing with her visually appalling duckface.

Pictured: a cute cat and it's sad mentally unstable and duckfaced owner.

Those who manage to survive such a sight without succumbing to the urge to instantly empty the entire contents of their stomach and/or gouge their own eyes out in an attempt to stop themselves from witnessing such a horrible sight are rewarded with the the slightest of a chance to prove that they are indeed worthy of competing for her whimsical attention.

A few little known facts about my bitch ex-girlfriend

1. She absolutely adores Creepychan aka Allison Harvard.

2. She will literally talk with anyone. ANYONE.

3. She likes train tracks but hates trains.

4. She is a complete and total lesbian.

5. Changes her hair every week.

6. Did I mention she's a lesbian?


My ex-GF is a lying theifing WHORE

I just got a call from a friend saying that Tiff is now accusing me of stealing stuff from her bag while it was in the Green Room at North District high school. I'm sorry but I don't want anything of hers, and if I DID take something, I would have taken the bag since it has a Prada label right on it. I am not a thief though, so I don't take something that doesn't belong to me. I wouldn't be setting much of an example if I did! (We all know she reads this afterall...)

However on top of that, there were a dozen or more people that can attest that nobody in the greenroom touched her bag. Even further, the only time somebody COULD have touched it was when they had us all out in the hallway when awards were being announced. I was there with the rest of the girls in my class at that point. That being the case, how the hell could I have taken anything? And even further, why didn't she report this supposed theft to Con Ops if it actually DID take place? Nobody was touching her bag the entire time somebody was in the room. My husband was on volunteer staff and was in there when the awards were being announced and saw nobody anywhere even near her seat, let alone her bag. So when did this supposed "theft" take place exactly? Cause as far as I can tell there was nobody there who could have done it and no time frame for it to have happened o_0;

I find it funny that when I was completely sweet to her in the GreenRoom (since I am not mean to anybody that I don't know well unless they have deliberately wronged me or somebody I care about), she wouldn't have dared think of me as a thief. But when she found out that I was a cosfu member, suddenly I am a suspect. What the hell. Just because I post here doesn't mean I am a goddamn thief.

Message to you you stupid bitch. I rarely post on this thread or any of the other ones that you have had here. I honesty had no problems with you until you started claiming about people always doing shit to you. I knew full well what people have said but I TRY to give the benefit of the doubt. YOU brought up the drama in the greenroom first. And that is why I even spoke up here. I am not a goddamn thief though, and neither was anybody else in that greenroom. Get your attention somewhere else.


Oh! And I uploaded your pictures on the Attention Whore and Fat article HA!

Duckface

DUCKFACEFUCKFACEDUCKFACEDUCKFACEDUCKFACEDUCKFACE
DUCKFACEFUCKFACEDUCKFACEDUCKFACEDUCKFACEDUCKFACE


In conclusion, duckface.

Dox

Oh and her's there dox. troll the m pls.. XD lel

  • 123 Fake Street
  • Springfield, NJ 01234
  • 856-555-9617

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