User:Peter gatien/Bioware

A formerly legendary PC RPG developer. Some say their success can only be attributed to their partnership with Black Isle. Where they started their fall.. no one knows (aka Dragon Age 2/Mass Effect 2- Kotor if you're old). But letting themselves be bought out by the jews at EA certainly marks the begging of the end. Taking jew gold is always a bad idea kids. Always.

Origins;

Founded in 1995, the first created shattered steel - a poorly aged mechwarrior rip off. Thus, they started by establishing a tradition of riping off better games.

Later on the three "medical" doctors behind bioware created Baldur's Gate. A game people only give a flying fuck about because Black Isle published it (aka fixed and improved). They followed up this mediocre success by making more shit that was dumped onto Black Isle to fix. Some say this burden of shit eventually resulted in Black Isles untimely demise.

After this, interplay/black isle went bankrupt due to bioware aids. Thus, bioware was left without a rentboy to fuck. Thankfully lucas arts in the midst of a post prequel trilogy heroin bender felt that bioware was the right dev to handle the star wars ip. In all fairness this was worth shit at the time, so who can forgive them for selling their most valuable asset in return for fucking nothing. Bioware made a mediocre WRPG, that obsidian went on to later improve in kotor2. Notheless they made enough money to pay off the faggots at game magazines - and thus pretend to be relevant.

New age

Kotor sold enough on the xbox to make some money.... because what else could you buy on the xbox? Thus, lucas arts decided to give the star wars ip to bioware to make what eventually became TORTANIC. This so called "wow" killer is nothing more then a shitastic mmo of circa 2004 design trying to compete with world of warcraft and a shitload of subscription based mmos hailing from korea, japan and china. Not to mention the rest of the free world is fighting this shit stain of an mmo at full force. Certainly, the hamburger helper and gaider led bioware will succeed - because fuck you if you dont like shitty gay sex stories and singleplayer in an mmo. You just stand in the way of the future man.

Mass Erect

Lets make a space opera. Promise a bunch of cool shit and branching story lines. Then do none of that with the sequels. This is ME in a nutshell, a game so embarrassing that the led writer behind the first game quit bioware a full month before ME3 came out. Oh, yeah, your caracter and everyone else is gay because EQUALITY

Dragon Age

Oh jesus who give a fuck. This shit went down the toilet faster then the jap strategy for ww2 after pearl harbor. The abortion of abortions of modern game design. Something japanese developers can laugh at. Too bad it makes EA shareholders pissed right the fuck off - or maybe no. Maybe this is the first time in history where the middle america 50 year old who holds $5 of stock can rightfully be pissed off. If not, Tolkien is rolling in his grave for fewer reasons.

LOL EA bioware is no owned by EA. Enjoy day one DLC, forced updates, origin and the like

The story of modern day Bioware;

Springtime for EA and Bioware Biodrones are happy and gay We're working to a faster pace Look out, here comes the streamling

Springtime for EA and Bioware Winter for gameplay and fun Springtime for EA and Bioware Come on, fans, go into your dance

I was born in Hamburg, and that is why they call me Helper Don't be stupid, be a smarty, come and join the day 1 Prothean party

Springtime for EA and Bioware Moneygrubbings the new step today DLC falling from the skies again Origin is on the rise again

Springtime for EA and Bioware Moneyboats are sailing once more

Springtime for EA and Bioware Means that soon we'll be paying We've got to be paying You know we'll be paying for perfect scores!