Brokengirl1985: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 14:14, 24 May 2015

This article needs a serious clean up

This page has potential but it needs a lot of work. It could benefit from better organization. Discuss edits that might add to the lulz on this article's talk page.

Brokengirl1985, also known as Kristina Franklin Legg, is a black goth/Wiccan hambeast who spends her hours excreting her USI on Livejournal. As one could imagine, you have to be pretty fucking broken to name yourself Brokengirl1985. Never mind the fact that most folks born in the mid-eighties are fucked up due to Reaganomics. Despite her claims, she is not married, but her various social networking sites reflect that she is. This is probably the result of the fact that she's planned 10 different wedding times, none of which have ever materialized. Some argue that she has ~~a new LiveJournal, Shes_t0xic~~. Recently, she changed it again to ~~kristina63985~~ in an attempt to separate herself from ED. (NICE TRY)

Very Broken Girl

As she indicates with her name, she is fairly broken. Here are some of her wonderful qualities:

“	I would L.O.V.E. to try being a Plus-Sized Goth/Industrial model or singing/playing guitar/singer in a alt. rock or rock band. I'm multiracial, and very proud of it, my mother is African-American, Spanish, and Sioux Indian, and my papi is Panamanian, born in Colon, Panama with my Abuelita and came to the states as a teen. I grew up speaking English, Spanish, and Spanglish.	„
—To get that many races in you, your mother must have been gangbanged on Ellis Island

Abusive White Trash Pedophile Boyfriend

Her loving white whale of a boyfriend has been known to encourage Brokengirl1985 to lose weight verbally. He uses such kind words of wisdom that any loving fiance would use to encourage his wife to shed... yes, over a hundred fucking pounds. What's strange is that in every single photo of them together, he is not smiling in a single one. Well, aside from when she's in compromising situations, like choke holds. It's difficult to ascertain if that's because he lacks the facial muscles to do so (inbreeding, etc) or if that's because he honestly does not love her. The (few) defenders of Brokengirl1985 claim this is because he just doesn't like having his picture taken. Based upon some of the pictures found on the Internets of them together, you'd probably never want to have your picture taken again.

If the above was not lulzy enough, as of January 2010, it turns out he's got four (4) felony child pornography charges against him right now in the state of Texas, and is out on $10,000 bond.

“	my fiance saying that he wanted me to lose the weight because of my health and because he was "tired of my gut flapping around."	„
—Kind words from your future husband

“	my fiance has given me (as of a couple of months ago) an ultimatum to lose about 100lbs before our August 14, 2010 wedding.	„
—Guess what? It's past the date and you aren't married

“	If the decision is not his, its not the right one. Always yelling, always nagging, making me feel small and stupid, and ugly.	„
—Why don't you find that romantic?

“	Mark says I wake him up at night shaking the bed because i'm so fat. I've been on the couch for a little over a week now.	„
—He's a true Casanova.

“	He wanted me to throw in the fact that I hardly have worked the last 5 years, that i'm always bitchy to him (which i am), and I'm lazy and haven't kept our apartment clean in the last 5 years either.	„
—Who wouldn't want to be with a guy like that?

Abusive White Trash Racist FFIL

Apparently, this kind of dickery runs in the family, as evidenced by lovely comments made by [Loving Fiance's father]:

“	His father told him that "it would be okay if you were just screwing her but if you bring her home we're gonna have issues"...that was 5 1/2 years ago. We had a daughter toghether who passed away before she was born, and after she was born, he said, "well don't bring any of your mongrel children home to me..."...i've since had two more losses and we're trying to get pregnant again. I wonder what he'll say next. It's almost become a game to me.	„
—Fun game! Can we play Assholes to Assholes... uh, Apples to Apples later?

“	in front of company, he told Mark that I was no longer allowed on his property OR in his house, even if I did just sit in the car...nice.	„
—And of course, Loving Fiance goes along with this. So chivalrous!

Computer Expert

Shockingly, her fiance Mark is into computers. His company, NANOWARE Houston, does something your local 12 year old down the street can accomplish. What's odd is the advertisement for very non-technical services, such as a virtual assistant, which really sounds a little bit creepy. Take a look at the job description and you be the judge.

“	I was so excited when Mark told me that he wanted to join the military. He's dead set on joining the Air Force, and is going to be a Systems Administrator or Computer Engineer.	„
—Perhaps you should read up on Aspirations

Business trust is instilled with a company photo taken at the mall in front of Foot Locker

Michael Jackson Infatuation

Shes also known as MJ Bride, in honor of her hero, Michael Jackson. She claims to have had made the ultimate sacrifice when she got arrested for trying to steal a Michael Jackson book from Walmart. It's also rumored that in the spirit of Michael, she routinely drinks Jesus Juice while pregnant to give them the same essence that Michael is well known for.

Serial Baby Deaths

Strangely enough, her Livejournal proudly exclaims that she's lost three (3) babies in her lobster-like womb. These markings are reminiscent of WW2 or Vietnam aces shooting down bandits by decorating their own aircraft. Who in the fuck slaps up little counters of how many dead babies they had and how many days have passed for each one? Better yet, why does this keep happening to her? Perhaps some sort of a doctor wearing an old-time scuba suit could crawl inside her B-52 bomb bay vagoo and find out what's causing all of these maladies? Is it some errant set of keys that were lost? Perhaps a dead fish? Or maybe she's just fat.

SEX

In order to make all these babies, brokengirl1985 has taken the advice of sextips[1]. She is a regular poster there and nothing surprises the readers.

As usual, he's extremely charming!

“	'My fiance says to tell you "it smells like a nasty armpit that hasn't deodorant on it in a couple of weeks.'	„
—I thought it really smells like dead baby!

Poor Brokengirl1985, her sex life is so boring that Mark went and bought some sex toys [2]... except she didn't get to pick them out. He's too insecure. I guess it's true, you can replace him with a piece of rubber!

“	'He just bought new toys and wouldnt let me help pick them, and honestly, they suck...he won't let me use a dildo or vibe larger than him, and the tiny pen vibe he bought sucks'	„

It might be hard to find dildos smaller than him and his pencil dick [3]!

“	'My fiance's penis is roughly 6 3/4 inches, and about 1 1/2 inches in girth.'	„

Weddings

Despite her father in-law having issues with blacks, she has been eagerly planning not one, not two but multiple wedding dates in her future. As if there was some contest to put a wedding in the worlds possible location, she continues to find the most trashy locales possible. You can totally ignore the fact that shes changing wedding plans and date at the drop of a hat. No, nothing crazy about that.

Yes, the below is a total of 8+ date changes (including her calling off the wedding) and 9 changes of plans (not including when she considered a BBQ).

October ?? 2005: So it Begins

“	Our first wedding date was set back in October 2005, and we've been pushing up the damn date every year since then.	„
—More like every month...this wedding won't happen

August ?? 2008: First Re-schedule

August 14 2009: Second Re-schedule

January 1 2010: ("Common law ceremony") Potluck

[4]

January 14 2010: NO WEDDING

[5]

At 3:24pm, they break up and the wedding is called off. Just kidding, by 10pm they have new plans.

“	if we do use Estebans', we'd be having the Finger Foods	„
—No shit

August 13 2010: Golden Corral

[10] [11]

“	We aren't really having one...we picked Golden Corral for dinner because it's a buffet and they have EVERYTHING, from soul food, to asian, to...well just everything! LOL Who knows what i'll actually feel like eating once we're there, but it's one of our fave restaraunts!	„
—You stay classy, Brokengirl1985

October 22 2010: Courthouse Wedding

October 23 2010: Either a Garden Wedding or a Courthouse Wedding

[12]

“	...another thing i'm worried about it whether or not it's enough time?	„
—It's never going to be enough time because it's never going to happen.

October 23 2010: Saltgrass Steakhouse

[13]

Salt Grass? That's way too high class. I guess that's what happens when you evade taxes.

November 20 2010: Ruin Thanksgiving

[14]

“	So now my mom wants us to push the wedding back to November 20. How many times have we done this??!!	„
—I keep asking myself the same question.

December 2010: Chick-Fil-A

[15]

“	we've decided to order food trays from Chick-Fil-A, which include cool chicken wraps tray, chicken salad sandwhich tray, chicken nugget tray, chicken strip tray, fruit tray, cheesecake tray, and furnish drinks/juice and the wedding cake.	„
—What? No waffle fries?

August 14 2011: Potluck

[16] [17] [18]

Defrauding The Government

Since being a Plus-Size Goth Wiccan Model doesn't really pay the bills due to high competition on the Internets, she's decided to get a tax-free job. Unfortunately, those matters are normally kept off public websites... until now. She's outlined her tax-evading behaviors in the following post: [19]

She's on Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI), most likely due to mental illness or the fact that she cannot hobble more than 5 feet without losing consciousness. That means you're not supposed to work, period. Of course, she gets a job that pays her under the table, which means no taxes and bilking the system. Of course, this is to be expected of immigrants to this country. Just ask the Tea Party. The thread was later moderated after several posters stated they were going to turn her in. Not surprisingly, the moderators of the Livejournal forum in question are probably committing fraud under the system.

File:Fraud1.jpg

On social security and working under the table, God Bless America!

For concerned citizens, we recommend you contact the Social Security Administration to report this illegal act at the Social Security Administration website. Remember her name is Kristina Franklin of Trinity, Texas.

Attempts to Delete Fucking Everything

Upon discovery of her very own ED page, Brokengirl1985 proceeded to make an account an delete fucking everything. Glorious Mysterybot has resolved the situation with her banning and a protecting of the web page.

“	I tried to edit it, but every time I did it just went back to the way it was before. Full article. I even got blocked for a week because I tried to edit it too many times.	„
—ED, how does it work?

Gallery of horror

External Links

Brokengirl1985 is part of a series on

LiveJournal

Visit the LiveJournal Portal for complete coverage.

Brokengirl1985: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 14:14, 24 May 2015

Contents

Very Broken Girl