Max Harris

FACT ALERT: Max finally realised that nobody likes his music, and, in a fit of self-loathing and shame, made his Jewtube videos private! baleeted the song that won him internet fame, "High"!

No exceptions...

Max Harris is, like many of today's youths, a gigantic faggot. And, like many of today's gigantic faggots, Max Harris thinks that he is a deep, intelligent, talented yet troubled, wounded dark knight. Oh, did we mention that he's also a fat bastard?

One day, during one of his many crying fits on his father's bed after just being brutally sodomized, he drew inspiration and courage from his father's semen dribbling out of his bruised, puckered asshole. Thus, Max Harris Music was born, an abhorrent Jewtube channel that contains the highly retarded song, "Stronger", which simply features a low-res, black and white picture of Max Harris looking brooding and troubled. The song itself is pitiful, and is full of fail and AIDS.

However, the channel also contains the far more lulzy song, "High", in which Max has been kind enough to produce a god-awful music video to accompany the "music", culminating in three of your senses being raped, as you can literally taste fecal matter while viewing.

Oh sweet Christ, it's almost too perfect. He's either the greatest troll to ever live or the best Justine Beiber impersonator the world has ever known.

The lyrics primarily consist of him singing about how he wants to do heroin and that he doesn't afraid of anything, while sensually grinding against the brick wall of his house in his back garden, utilising a wide-angle lens so we can see just how ugly this fucker is. Bonus lulz for the scene where he pretends to break down and cry like the bitch he is.

	“	I'm on a battleship! I'm sinking! Someone help me, please help me, help me! *sob*	„
	—Max Harris, on losing the battle against puberty.

Oh, and he also attempts to do pop-style street dancing in the alley next to his house, resulting in what appears to be a fatty giving himself a rub-down, as well as nestling the camera in the grass and having it look up at him, in what he clearly intended to be an artsy shot, but ended up looking like he was being filmed through one of those fake-turd-cams they use in nature documentaries.

Max Harris is the perfect example of a modern tweenage boy, proving that all males his age must be lined up and summarily shot, with extreme prejudice, lest they inflict their faggotry upon us all. Nice going, Max Harris, you're the new type specimen for human vermin.

Epiphany

Thanks to Max's lolcow status, he has recieved plenty of hatemail regarding his music, leading him to have a massive bitchfit, first making all his music private, then completely deleting the song that earned him e-fame, "High". The reason for this is startlingly obvious, considering that he left the other song (without a music video of him acting like a retard) intact.

He apparantely has no clue that other people have mirrored and mocked his dancing for the world to see.

Max released this lulzy Tumblr post claiming that the reason he took down "High" was because he thought it was bad to promote drug use. He also claims that he took it down because it was viewed negatively, and that he wanted people to have fun when watching the video, completely raping his own cover story; we're all having fun, just at his expense.

“	Why I removed High Okay, so a lot of people have been asking me the same question: “Why did you remove your video High?” so, I’m gonna give you an answer. Firstly, the amount of views on the video blew me away. I was so shocked on how popular it got and I never expected that to happen in a million years!! I mean like, 1,652,932 WTF!! The video received a lot of negativity. It wasn’t about what people said about me, that didn’t bother me one single bit. It was the fact that it was taken negatively and I didn’t want to be seen by people in a negative way, the video was just a bit of fun and I wanted other people to have fun watching it too. The song also sent a bad message, I don’t want people to take drugs and die and I apologize to all those who were effected by it. Seriously, if I ever knew how many views it got then I would have never sent that message out to all those 1,652,932 people. I think this whole experience was a bit too much to handle for just an ordinary 14-year-old guy. So, what’s next for me? Honestly, I don’t know. I think that I’ll be spending a lot of time discovering myself and exploring different genres of music. I also hope that more things happen in that period time so I can write about them, wether they’re good or bad. I find that my best music are the ones that are most personal. So, for the meantime I’ll still be talking to you guys on Twitter and all that, I might even upload songs every once in a while on my channel or maybe a new one to see what you guys think, but I’ll definitely keep you updated and if any of you are going to stay with me then I will definitely keep you updated and try talk to you all as much as possible. And remember: NEVER GIVE UP AND LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE MAX!! Love you all xxxx	„
—[1]

See Also

• Tween
• 13 year old boy
• Music
• Justin Bieber

External Links

• http://maxharris3.tumblr.com/
• http://twitter.com/MaxHarris3
• Accurate summary of "High".

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Featured article August 1 & 2, 2012
Preceded by First World Problems	Max Harris	Succeeded by Linux for Niggers