Krystal Can't Enjoy Her Sandwich

The original.

Krystal Can't Enjoy Her Sandwich is a meme which started on FurAffinity in which an artist made an artwork of a landscape and for no reason, decided to place a drawing of Krystal from Starfox, naked, eating a sammich on the bottom left corner of said artwork. This later led to a troll account called "krystalcantenjoyhersandwich" taking the drawing, cuntpasting it onto several pictures taken from Google and spamming the site with them.

Background

Meme Avatars

Our story begins on July 9th when Cbee posted an image to his FurAffinity gallery depicting an average looking landscape scene he drew on the Kemonoart oekaki board. Since FurAffinity is known to be run by douchebags, he added in a doodle of Krystal eating a sandwich in order to pass their unspoken "There must be a furry in teh pictuuurre!" rule. Many people favorite the image due to its apparent hilarity and life goes on as normal.

Go forward several weeks, to July 22nd, and enter user krystalcantenjoyhersandwich. Apparently attracted by the EXTREME LULZ of cbee's image, said user begins photoshopping Krystal on top of scenes where she can't enjoy her sandwich and use them to spam the fuck out of their own FurAffinity gallery. The troll then made the drawing into an oh exploitable, causing much drama between the admins and those who enjoyed the meme. Admins were pissed off, baleeted anything to do with the original picture, and banhammered both the troll and the original artist (the latter for a brief period), sparking a furious amount of furry drama.

This of course attracts the attention of authoritarian, wannabe-admin Dave Hyena who tags the images as spam and then runs screaming to the rest of the FurFaggotry team, who, having just been disturbed from their all-penis, triple penetration, furry fuck fest fly off the handle and ban the shit out of krystalcantenjoyhersandwich's account.

Of course, now the penises have been removed from their mouths, the furries start bickering and trolling each other arguing over what constitutes as spam and what does not.

Fur Affinity itself states that items classify as spam when:

Spamming Spamming is not, and will not, be tolerated on the site. It is considered spamming when:

• More than three images with the exact same primary subject (e.g.a fursuit, Second Life character, etc.) are posted.
• Multiple versions of the same exact submission with minor variation are posted. PLEASE NOTE: posting a sketch, ink and finalized image are acceptable.
• The user is flooding the website and is considered to be abusing the site’s resources and bandwidth.

Which apparently means that any FurFag artist that draws the same character more than once is OMG SPAMMING TEH COMMUNITY!

So the admins group together, put on their cloaks and +5 wizard hats of BAN and start wiping out anything and everything they can find pertaining to this meme: Krystal and eating sandwiches. In their attempt to LAY DOWN TEH POWAR!!111! they banned Cbee too (probably due to the fact that she's eating a sandwich rather than the immense throbbing penis of a 6'2 wolf and his bondage-fox fuck buddy) even though he had nothing to do with the gag at all.

Luckily for him, this was pointed out and the ban was lifted by Pinkuh, who offered an apology and admitted a mistake.

Of course this spreads like wildfire and artists all over the FurFaggotry site start drawing up their characters either enjoying, or for some reason being unable to enjoy their food. The extreme popularity of this meme gets to the point where the entire site is spammed with Krystal-inspired, sandwich eating artwork. The furries throw fits as pr0n production is suddenly put on the backburner in favor of unsatisfactory sandwich experiences and continue trying to ban the everliving fuck out of anyone who dare speak Krystal's name. But it was too late. By Tuesday the 24th, furry webcomic Vinci & Arty was already featuring Krystal and by the morning of Wednesday the 25th, even FurAffinity's own logo had been changed to show the site's faggot mascot Fender eating his own tie.

The kicker?

Wolfblade, some smartassed furfag admin decided it would be EXTREEEEEME lulz to not only place the ban on krystalcantenjoyhersandwich 's account, but also to modify the profile description from "I just want to enjoy a sandwich" to "I just want to spam the site." as well. Well done FurAffinity, kudos for keeping the childish, immature bullshit off your precious website. You can go back to being anally raped by a seven-breasted, four-eyed, cat-wolf-hyena with eleven penises now.

The End

Last Thursday, something amazing happened. The site was unbanned, and the "spammer" posted the final image to this meme. Many believe this to be truly epic.

Valve

PIME TARADOX

Apparently, Valve saw this coming so they also added their "own idea" (WHAT IS PLAGIARISM? LOLOLOLOL) of the "Sandvich". Unintentionally, the faggots at Valve created a picture that looked too remarkably similar...

Gallery

Krystal Can't enjoy her sandwich... About missing Pics

• 
  because Jews did WTC
• 
  Because there's an avalanche
• 
  Because it became awkward
• 
  Because she got a sex change and changed her name to Krystian.
• 
  Because YouTube Vigilantes group does not have open membership
• 
  Because Brock is creepy
• 
  Because Bush won the election again
• 
  Because her car blew up

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• 
  Because there was a fatal tragedy
• 
  Because this is the height of comedy
• 
  Because the Hindenburg blew up
• 
  Because Hurricane Katrina wrecked everything
• 
  Because she'd rather pay to have a lap dancer
• 
  Because her new car also blew up
• 
  Because eating is not allowed here
• 
  Because her diet wouldn't allow it
• 
  Because she was not dressed for the occasion
• 
  Because OJ Simpson pleaded not guilty
• 
  Because Michael Vick pleaded guilty.
• 
  Because the power is YOURS!
• 
  Because a storm is coming
• 
  Because the Titanic sunk
• 
  Because the world is ending
• 
  Because the WTC tasted better
• 
  Because Goatse made her lose her appetite
• 
  Because she has to move away from the mic to breathe
• 
  Because Snape killed Dumbledore
• 
  Because the shocking truth about her sandwich was revealed.
• 
  Because Asian people are disgusting.
• 
  Because he killed his family and hanged himself.
• 
  Because some things just make you lose your appetite.
• 
  Because there are pedos.
• 
  Because she's dining in Hell.
• 
  Because of KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!
• 
  Becase Dave Hyena is a pompous twat.
• 
  Because she was banned, Poetlister can't enjoy her sandwich.
• 
  FIGHT.
• 
  FurAffinity's counterattack
• 
  Because she's been turned into some pudgy white chick named Kristy.
• 
  Because 4chan is dangerous
• 
  Because a black person stole her bike
• 
  because In Soviet Russia...
• 
  Because they haven't been invented yet.
• 
  Because the staff at FA are a bunch of butthurt morons.
• 
  Because Furseiseki stole it.
• Because John McCain was in prison for 5 1/2 years
  Because John McCain was in prison for 5 1/2 years
• 
  Because Hoggish Greedly can't enjoy his.
• 
  This is an ass sandwich. It is made of Gunnershit Fail.
• 
  because she's too fat to pick her sandwich up.
• Because she was supposed to be in an original game,not StarFox!
  Because she was supposed to be in an original game,not StarFox!
• Because Haiti Had An Earthquake
  Because Haiti Had An Earthquake
• Because 4chan /b/ is disgusting with their Internet Superheroes
  Because 4chan /b/ is disgusting with their Internet Superheroes
• 
  Because Britney Spears is about to attack her new car
• Because Lady Gaga's costume scared her enough to lose her appetite
  Because Lady Gaga's costume scared her enough to lose her appetite
• Because the Playstation 3 will retail for 599 U.S. Dollars
  Because the Playstation 3 will retail for 599 U.S. Dollars
• Because the police are after her for stealing a sandwich to enjoy
  Because the police are after her for stealing a sandwich to enjoy
• Because she got the Red Ring of Death on her Xbox360
  Because she got the Red Ring of Death on her Xbox360
• Because a Riot broke out
  Because a Riot broke out
• Because her Windows has a problem and needs to shut down
  Because her Windows has a problem and needs to shut down
• Because it has no braed
  Because it has no braed
• 
  Gina can't enjoy her Double Down.
• 
  Can't enjoy his baby sandwich.
• Krystal can't enjoy her sandwich because Godzilla made it radioactive.
  Krystal can't enjoy her sandwich because Godzilla made it radioactive.
• Because it contains Jill
  Because it contains Jill
• 
  Because furries think she's hot

See Also

• Can't let you do that, StarFox!
• Cbee
• DaHaloChick
• Double Down
• Krystal
• Legend of Krystal
• LINK MAH BOIIIII
• Starfox

External Links

• Krystalcanteathersandwich (Banned)
• LiveJournal entry about the drama account deleted and purged
• The original artist
• Apparently, it's big news on WikiFur
• The Krystal-Sandwich Archive.
• The original discussion thread.
• The Oekaki picture
• Lulz.net retard threads.BALEETED
• Vinci and Arty "We don't get it either."
• Why is everyone eating??? BALEETED!

Krystal Can't Enjoy Her Sandwich is part of a series on Furfaggotry Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article August 1, 2007
Preceded by Ron Mexico	Krystal Can't Enjoy Her Sandwich	Succeeded by Minneapolis Bridge Collapse