Zobovor

Nobody Cares

Zobovor looks like it was written by pseudo-intellectual 13-year-old boys. Look out for unfunny Uncyclopedia bullshit, boring in-jokes, and angsty teen-ery. You could also add in actual humor.

Zobovor At a Glance

Zobo the Clown

Zobovor is a notoriously anal-retentive Transformers fan. He regards Transformers as a religion, and as such, any disagreements with his views as complete and utter blasphemy. His obsessive prattling extends to writing tirades on the Usenet forum alt.toys.transformers and composing endlessly pedantic reviews about his collection of tiny plastic robots. Zobovor also deliberately ruins the value of these highly detailed and intricate collector's items completely by slathering gobs of paint on them in a vain attempt to more closely resemble the ugly, undetailed blocks of color found on the Transformers cartoon series. (This means that while comparable-sized collections are worth 6.2 billion dollars, the estimated resale value of Zob's collection is approximately $0.42 USD.) He typically claims that his shitty paint jobs make them look better than the factory pieces, but of course, Zobovor is an idiot.

Zobovor and ATT

Zobovor has a long and sordid history of spouting some of the most completely ridiculous drivel ever to grace the Internet, specifically the aforementioned alt.toys.transformers newsgroup, which in his demented fervor he considers to be his personal playground, having viciously conquered that forum at least 100 years ago. Despite the efforts of many calm, sensible individuals who have patiently tried to make him see reason on such sensitive topics as fan art, prostitution, and the correct names and identities of plastic toys, Zobovor is impossible to reason with as he is firmly convinced he is Always Right. His tendency to muddle these otherwise rational discussions with namecalling and slander has resulted in the coining of a word specifically attributed to his debate tactics: zobfuscating.

Specific Arguments

Zobovor is a self-proclaimed champion of Internet trolls, idiots, and lost causes. Among his more egregious episodes include accusing a perfectly innocent girl of being a prostitute; offering scathing commentary on a piece of fan art; and masquerading as a female Transformers fan for his own amusement. Perhaps his most insane moment came when he openly defended Nicholas Morency, claiming that possession of kiddie porn wasn't really that bad.

Other Useless Information

Zobovor's known pastimes have included adopting every rabid stray cat in the neighborhood by enticing them with scraps of flesh from sacrificial virgins. He reportedly has at least two children, though he may be confusing them with the aforementioned cats. Sometime last Thursday, Zob divorced his wife and started shacking upwith his new girlfriend, who is, by all accounts, half his age.