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Legacy Computers: Difference between revisions
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imported>Unknown Created page with " thumb|Typical computer '''Legacy computers''' are anything more than a week old. It's a nice way of saying, "Hey you computer is shit and I've made this ..." |
imported>Sidecar |
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==Why They Exist== | ==Why They Exist== | ||
[[retards|People]] are such cheap bastards that can't go to [[losers|newegg.com]] and buy a decent computer for around 10,000 dollars. A result of their cheapness is an interest in [[Linux]], which is fast only on slow computers. | [[retards|People]] are such cheap bastards that can't go to [[losers|newegg.com]] and buy a decent computer for around 10,000 dollars. A result of their cheapness is an interest in [[Linux]], which is fast only on slow computers. | ||
[[File:Us government's oldest computers 2016 foia.jpg|center|600px|thumb|The US Government's oldest computers, heading for their 60th birthdays and still calculating your taxes]] | |||
[[Image:Computerroom.jpg|thumb|Intel is working on a smaller model due by <strike>this October</strike> <s>next June</s> [[last Thursday]].]] | [[Image:Computerroom.jpg|thumb|Intel is working on a smaller model due by <strike>this October</strike> <s>next June</s> [[last Thursday]].]] | ||
==What can I do?== | ==What can I do?== | ||
*Not use Linux | *Not use Linux | ||
Revision as of 03:00, 1 October 2016
Legacy computers are anything more than a week old. It's a nice way of saying, "Hey you computer is shit and I've made this software especially shitty for your computer, enjoy." Legacy computers can't do shit.
Why They Exist
People are such cheap bastards that can't go to newegg.com and buy a decent computer for around 10,000 dollars. A result of their cheapness is an interest in Linux, which is fast only on slow computers.
What can I do?
- Not use Linux
- Purchase the most expensive computer you can find, wait a month, and repeat.
- ????
- PROFIT
Classification
Legacy PCs usually are known as the following:
- Macs (common yuppy masturbation device)
- Anything without an Official Windows 9 Certified sticker.
- Less than 32 GB DDR3 ram
- Only 4 cores
- Non-dual-layer-blu-ray-DVD-disk-drives
- Computers with clogged tubes, i.e. Google Chrome
- Any computer that dies when you take out the ram while it is running.
- Cheat Code: Trade your used-up, rotten Fleshlight on Craigslist for a legacy computer, affix an Official Windows Vista Certified sticker to the chassis, and then sell it on Craigslist (with a picture including the sticker) for a tidy profit: more than enough to buy a new Fleshlight!