Mars: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 16:33, 30 October 2016

Equality

Scientists have concluded that all Martians have green skin, but it is debated whether they are capable of being racist or even know about of the concept. That said, careful analysis of recent invasions suggest that Martians may favor negroids over caucasoids, the reason for this is unknown. Amongst themselves, discrimination is possible based on other factors, such as how massive a Martian's cranium is, this is still under investigation.

It has been documented that Martian send more transvestites to the battlefield than females, suggesting that homosexuality is not only tolerated but may even be encouraged. Most females are observed staying at home taking care of babies, a clear indication that Martians are more advanced than Earthling who allow their females to run around and cause problems.

Invasion

For nearly a billion years, the Martians were an environmentally friendly race that could easily put Green Peace to shame. That all changed when an enterprising Martian opened up a small business and soon idea of a free market and capitalism spread, within 75 years all natural resources were depleted. In desperation, the Martians set their sights on Earth, a planet who's indigenous population was technologically inferior. Some debated the morality of an invasion, but the idea of divine destiny prevailed soon thousands of shiny flying saucers were headed to Earth. Unfortunately for the little green men, their success at interplanetary invasions proved worse than France's at winning wars.

Martian spy on Encyclopedia Dramatica

After a decade of bloodshed between Wikipedia and Encyclopedia Dramatica, a ceasefire was called. As gesture of good faith, Jimbo Wales was invited to Encyclopedia Dramatica so he could browse hipcrime's personal fap vault.

Knowing that peace would make another invasion difficult, Mr. Jonzz attempted to attempted to assassinate Wikipedia's leader. For this act of savagery, Mr. Jonzz was dragged into court and charged with treason. Jonzz's defense was successful: "Why the fuck are we negotiating with a bunch of Jews from Wikipedia?" The charges were dropped, the war against Wikipedia rages on, and the exonerated Jonzz is currently doing outreach to recruit other extraplanetary EDiots.

He carries on with his daily routine, editing the wiki while patiently waiting for his next opportunity to strike.

Mr. Jonzz

Gallery of truth

Last Thursday, Google landed a streetview car on Mars. Codenamed 'Curiosity', it has been photographing the region where it landed and not going very far due to being powered by AA batteries and piss. Fortunately, it has landed in an area of Mars that is full of life, structures, and a fair amount of trash. Experts have named this region 'New New Jersey'.

Experts have been poring furiously over these photos for evidence, and lo and behold they make amazing discoveries every day of the week. The fact that NASA doesn't draw attention to this stunning new evidence proves there is a cover-up of advanced civilisations with a littering problem living next-door to us in the solar system.

Fortunately, we have Youtube so the truth cannot be suppressed, and with over 8,999 different channels dedicated to Martian revelations, the lucky internet user can see discoveries such as are displayed in this gallery, with fresh finds appearing daily!