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[[File:Alex.jpg|thumb|[[an hero]]]]
[[File:Alex.jpg|thumb| What he looked like in the 90's.]]


'''Alex Chiu''' is an [[azn]] fraudmaster who sells finger-magnets to [[16 year old girls|gullible morons]]. The magnets supposedly grant "immortality" through the power of, um, magnetism, and Chiu insists that he will enjoy an eternity of fucking up computer equipment and sticking to elevator doors.
[[File:Alexchiu.jpg|thumb|What he looks like in 2018. Notice the wrinkles and receding hairline. Those eternal youth rings sure are working, aren't they?]]


{{Quote|[http://www.alexchiu.com/eternallife/backgrnd.htm One day in year 2003, this guy showed up in my back yard begging for food. He became the love of my life ever since. I open 3 cans of cat food for him every meal, and I treat him well. If God wants me to choose between this guy or a beautiful woman like Hilary Duff, I will dump the girl and be with my cat.] | Chiu, confirming once and for all that he will die alone.}}
'''Alex Chiu''' is a batshit insane[[azn]] neo-Nazi snake-oil salesman and "inventor" of utterly nonsensical devices that either don't work in the slightest or straight up don't even exist. Alex Chiu was infamous during the days of dial-up for [http://www.alexchiu.com/ his self titled site] that he literally hasn't updated at all since the 90's besides now including a link to his [[Jewtube]] channel. That website hawked what is still his biggest claim to fame: rings that supposedly give you eternal youth just by wearing them when you sleep. Despite being mocked for over a decade for how his imbecilic "invention" is a completely fraud and couldn't possibly work he not only still believes in his immortality rings but gets ludicrously butthurt whenever someone says they don't work or God forbid, demands a refund on the invention the great [[lolcow| genius]] Alex Chiu selflessly created to give people physical immortality! In fact Alex [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mov-xRds-Lo was arrested in 2010] for not giving people refunds for his scam.
[[File:Toes.jpg|thumb|left|It really works!]]
[[File:Toes.jpg|thumb|left|It really works!]]
Chiu, like many frauds and weirdos, has attracted attention from [[Uncyclopedia]] faggots and their ilk who pass [[old meme]] links around and giggle so hard over their own wit that they [[diaperfur|piss their pants]].
 
==Fuckin' magnets, how do they work?==
This is [http://www.alexchiu.com/eternallife/index.html his explanation] for how his immortality rings quote unquote "work":
 
"''When placing the magnetic devices, the magnetic pole on the right side of the human body is opposite to the left side. With a opposite pole on each side of the human body, blood circulation and electric current of the body are enhanced. The enhanced blood circulation and electric current increase metabolism in order to fight the aging process''.
 
''The Eternal Life Rings and The Eternal Life Foot Braces invented by Alex Chiu are believed to allow humans to stay physically young forever or turn humans physically younger, (Our lawyer told us to use the word "believe") as long as you wear the rings or foot braces every night during sleep''."
 
There's your answer, Insane Clown Posse.


==Radio interview cock up==
==Radio interview cock up==
Once, in a radio interview, a host asked Alex Chiu if he spoke Chinese, since he is of Chinese descent. Alex Chiu, being a compulsive liar and utterly retarded in terms of foresight, said that he did indeed speak Chinese. The radio host said a few simple words to him in Chinese that any moron who had taken a remedial Chinese class or bothered to look it up on the internet would have understood. Sadly for Chiu, his only response was an epically lulzy protracted silence as his deceitfulness and idiocy was revealed yet again. They were chinese words that even someone who only knew a local dialect would have known, so there was no reasonable excuse.
In [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twHn5BaVKek a radio interview], a host asked Alex Chiu if he spoke Chinese since he is of Chinese descent. Alex Chiu, being a compulsive liar and utterly retarded in terms of foresight, said that he did indeed speak Chinese. The radio host said a few simple words to him in Chinese that any moron who had taken a remedial Chinese class or bothered to look it up on the internet would have understood. Sadly for Chiu, his only response was an epically lulzy protracted silence as his deceitfulness and idiocy was revealed yet again. They were chinese words that even someone who only knew a local dialect would have known, so there was no reasonable excuse.


==See also==
==See also==
*[[Arthur Chu]] his obese nephew with bad health because he does not use the rings
*[[David Icke]]| another batshit insane loon who's often mistaken for a mere pretender.
*[[Girlvinyl]], one of Alex's more notable romantic partners
*[[Helen Chiu]] his little sister who will become gorgeous with GorgeousPil


==External Links==
==External Links==
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* To his credit, he can make [http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/45257 faggy Engrishy dance music].
* To his credit, he can make [http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/45257 faggy Engrishy dance music].
* [http://www.youtube.com/user/AlexYCChiu YouTube channel showing how successful his other scam, GorgeousPil, works].
* [http://www.youtube.com/user/AlexYCChiu YouTube channel showing how successful his other scam, GorgeousPil, works].
*[http://www.superiching.com/ Another website that he hasn't updated since 2001.]


Forums:
Forums:

Revision as of 01:46, 31 July 2018

What he looked like in the 90's.
What he looks like in 2018. Notice the wrinkles and receding hairline. Those eternal youth rings sure are working, aren't they?
   
“ 		 
One day in year 2003, this guy showed up in my back yard begging for food. He became the love of my life ever since. I open 3 cans of cat food for him every meal, and I treat him well. If God wants me to choose between this guy or a beautiful woman like Hilary Duff, I will dump the girl and be with my cat.
  		„
  		 

— Chiu, confirming once and for all that he will die alone.


Alex Chiu is a batshit insaneazn neo-Nazi snake-oil salesman and "inventor" of utterly nonsensical devices that either don't work in the slightest or straight up don't even exist. Alex Chiu was infamous during the days of dial-up for his self titled site that he literally hasn't updated at all since the 90's besides now including a link to his Jewtube channel. That website hawked what is still his biggest claim to fame: rings that supposedly give you eternal youth just by wearing them when you sleep. Despite being mocked for over a decade for how his imbecilic "invention" is a completely fraud and couldn't possibly work he not only still believes in his immortality rings but gets ludicrously butthurt whenever someone says they don't work or God forbid, demands a refund on the invention the great genius Alex Chiu selflessly created to give people physical immortality! In fact Alex was arrested in 2010 for not giving people refunds for his scam.

It really works!

Fuckin' magnets, how do they work?

This is his explanation for how his immortality rings quote unquote "work":

"When placing the magnetic devices, the magnetic pole on the right side of the human body is opposite to the left side. With a opposite pole on each side of the human body, blood circulation and electric current of the body are enhanced. The enhanced blood circulation and electric current increase metabolism in order to fight the aging process.

The Eternal Life Rings and The Eternal Life Foot Braces invented by Alex Chiu are believed to allow humans to stay physically young forever or turn humans physically younger, (Our lawyer told us to use the word "believe") as long as you wear the rings or foot braces every night during sleep."

There's your answer, Insane Clown Posse.

Radio interview cock up

In a radio interview, a host asked Alex Chiu if he spoke Chinese since he is of Chinese descent. Alex Chiu, being a compulsive liar and utterly retarded in terms of foresight, said that he did indeed speak Chinese. The radio host said a few simple words to him in Chinese that any moron who had taken a remedial Chinese class or bothered to look it up on the internet would have understood. Sadly for Chiu, his only response was an epically lulzy protracted silence as his deceitfulness and idiocy was revealed yet again. They were chinese words that even someone who only knew a local dialect would have known, so there was no reasonable excuse.

See also

  • David Icke| another batshit insane loon who's often mistaken for a mere pretender.

External Links

Official sites:

Forums:


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