Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/August 7, 2013

Alternative Medicine

Alternative Medicine is something stupid people use before they die. It is also known as Complementary Medicine, which is ironic because it is hard to say anything complimentary about it. And it'll show up on your bill.

The logic of it is, there exist miracles that break all known laws of physics. It is possible to connect with these miracles by doing some retarded ritual. This is such a failsafe idea that performing "medical treatments" with these rituals is worth devoting your life to. The whole field is populated by dirty hippies and cognac'd up Asians who still aren't sure that modern medicine isn't a scam. It is often called "Holistic Healing" and can involve anything from over-exuberant chiropractor work to poking yourself with sharp things then lighting them on fire. Practitioners often claim the weird torture they wish to exact on you will cure nearly everything wrong with you, but it will never work. Often enough they also get charged with practicing medicine without a license when one of their retarded clients gets sick or dies. The practitioners themselves are a testament to the stupidity of their clientele. They have copious facial hair (regardless of gender) and liked to wear hideous multicolored clothing which they believe imparts upon them a sort of mysticism; whereas in reality they look like they dyed curtains with skittles and used it for a muumuu.

Alternative Medicine should not be confused with Alternative History or Alternative Science because it is totally true and in no way a scam to get your money.

(( TOO BAD IT WON'T CURE CANCER ))

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