Alligator

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The Alligator Alligator mississippiensis or the American Alligator is a big toothed, overly friendly lizard that does neighborhoods and and housing community a favor by eating different kinds of rodents such as rats, stray cats and small dogs.

A living fossil, 35 million years ago it was the Alligator that was home and got the memo when Raptor Jesus put out the call that a flood was coming when G-D decided to throw a flow at the Earth Giants because HE was getting sick of seeing Wimmins Yiffing with T-Rexes a nd kids being birn scales and tails.

A very friendly animal that can be fed by hand. You should always run right up to one and scratch it behind the eyes, better yet, they are so safe, docile and trustworthy it is safe to sit in front of one and slap the edge of the water it is hiding beneath.

Florida's Easter Bunny

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Every year, to celebrate the birth of Raptor Jesus, inbred Trailor park hicks staple bunny ears onto to heads of freshly hatched Alligators and sell them to the children of tourists for $25 a pop where they are later flushed down the toilets of major metropolitan areas when they are found in the child's suitcase to later grow into the man eaters of legend.

Shoes

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If you can actually break yourself away from the comfort of your basement apartment to walk up the steps and can actually make it upstairs, all the way without your feet swelling up to two times their original size then you should think of getting yourself a pair of these pimp walking bad poys because they are proper uniform for playas and men with balls big enough to face the sun and go outside and approach a girl in a bar.

Averaging about $800 a pair for the low end brands, you might have to go without your Xbox One, PlayStation 4, Junk Food and computer to get yourself a pair.

It'd be better if you didn't. Like all your promises of going outside to talk to girls, they'll just be like you are, sitting in the basement gathering dust. More so, these are shoes that must be properly cared for. You can't even keep your promise to your mother to take a shower every week so it might be best if you stick with your Dollar General brand flip flops.

If you want a pair but are worried about libtard things like sustaining the species, don't worry, Alligators have survived for over 30 million years - they will survive another 30. If they don't, who gives a fuck. It's all about looking good.