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| [[File:Italian nationalists.jpg|thumb|center|700px|Two italian nationalists displaying their fascist love for Italy.]]
| | NON V'AZZARDATE MAI PIU' A PRENDERE IN GIRO IL MIO PAESE O PER VOI SARANNO CAZZI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| {{天|'''LOLBROKE'''|Friendswillbefriends.jpg|200px|red|20%}}
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| '''Italy''' is a giant boot in [[Europe]] jutting out into the Mediterranean Sea, which is infested with [[Guido]]s, a race of crooks, drug dealers, and thieves, with an animalistic bond to crime, pudgy fingers, greasy hair, leather jackets, an overly aggressive attitude, no emotional control, and a horrible language with the world's most annoying accent. It is a pathetic member of the [[EU]] that is occasionally allowed a seat at very big tables to discuss [[shit nobody cares about]]. The only reason for this is that President [[Mario]] is one mean fucking plumber and also tried to save Britain’s [[Princess Diana]] from being trolled by [[Royal Family]]. Currently, the country is experiencing massive [[butthurt|unrest]] due to an alleged rigged election in which [[Luigi]] was nominated the new President. Having that dipshit elected provoked within the Italians a similar reaction as the election of a black person (that wasn’t Morgan Freeman) did to [[fucktards|honest, ordinary]] [[America|Americans]]. Generally, Italians are greasy, brown and smelly and spend their days cooking pasta and ordering pizza. Before his relocation to Latin America [[last Thursday]], the [[Pope]] lived in a bin in [[Rome]].
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| Elliot Vetoretti (old greasy) comes from this country
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| ==History==
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| [[Image:Mussolini hitler.jpg|thumb|left|120px|An Italian Hero (left)]]
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| [[File:Italian politics - simpsons explainer.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Italian politics is like Italian traffic. Chaotic]]
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| [[Mario|Italians]], also known as [[wop]]s, wogs, dagos, guineas, greaseballs and pizza niggers, are the bastard descendants of [[Roman Empire|Ancient Romans]], <s>Arabs</s> sandniggers, and gypsies. However, although the [[Roman Empire]] was both powerful and respected and the gypsies know how to cause [[lulz]], modern-day Italy is neither. When Italians aren't too busy teaching the world the joys of [[anal]] and [[oral sex|oral]] [[sex]] or raving about how [[unwarranted self-importance|proud they are to be Italian]], they can be found gesturing wildly and pissing everyone else off. They are solely responsible for the atrocious mess that is [[DeviantART]], with their history of pompous art movements. Italy is also <s>famed</s> hated for it's [[fashion]] and, last but definitely not least, ''The Godfather'' parts ''1'' & ''2'' (disregard ''3'').
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| After becoming increasingly bored within their own borders, Italians moved from an agricultural lifestyle of [[bestiality|fucking sheep]] in their own country to slowly [[AIDS|invading and spreading]] across North and South [[America]] and [[Australia]]. Their goal in these countries was to impregnate American and Australian [[fat whore|women]] with their greasy, greasy seeds, thus securing (in a short amount of time) their control over all the illegal activities of those countries, second only to [[Mexican]]s.
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| Italy has a history of Fascism. During [[WWII|World War II]], Italy sided with [[Hitler]]'s [[Nazi]] regime and the Italian people were hapless servants to their own personal dictator, [[Benito Mussolini]]. When [[WWII]] ended [[Benito Mussolini|Mussolini]] was properly [[pwn|pwned]] when his own people hung him from a lamp post.
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| Now a "democratic country", the Italian government is based on corruption, devotion to the [[Catholic]] Church and [[capitalism|personal wealth and interest]].
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| Italy is also the only nation to lose a war to an African kingdom, they invaded Ethiopia in the 1800's and got owned because they are the only fighters worse than the French. They invaded once again in the 30's and almost got owned again due to their own ineptitude, luckily however the spears the Ethiopians were chucking could not pierce their one tanks armor allowing them to win by default.
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| == List of countries who defeated Italy ==
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| [[File:Italian Nuclear Test.jpg|thumb|right|Italian Nuclear test results]]
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| Black people whupped them in the 1800's. The guidos almost lost round 2 in the 1930's but won by using indiscriminate bombings and gas warfare (which was a war crime since WWI). Niggers thought they were fighting a proper western country, so it caught them unprepared.
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| [[Empire|UK]] had its colonies in [[Africa]] attacked by Italy, but even as it was all by itself in the war and under heavy German bombing, they still found the time to raep the invaders, and then conquer some nice Italian colonies at that.
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| [[stupid|United States]] invaded them during WWII.
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| [[fat|Greece]] kicked their asses. The [[jews|Germans]] then invaded and conquered them for the wops.
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| ==Demographics==
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| [[Image:Epic_fail_guy_italian_flag.png]]
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| [[Image:ITALY.gif|thumb|140px|Image of the typical Italian citizen.]]
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| Shitaly's midget population is mostly the [[Guido]]s who don't infest the U.S. East Coast, but also a small population of [[apes|gypsies]], whom the Italian [[fascist|government]] loves to discriminate against, disposess, and deport. The population of Italy comprises mostly of people with the names ''[[Mario]]'', ''[[Weegee|Luigi]]'', ''Antonio'', ''Marco'', ''Francesco'', ''Danilo'', ''Giovanni'', ''Alessio'', ''Michele'', ''Roberto'', ''Carlo'', ''Franco'', ''D'Angelo'' and ''Andrea''. Note that most names that elsewhere are feminine, like ''Andrea'', ''Michele'', ''Daniele'' or ''Simone'', are used by [[transsexual|males]] in Italy. Italians are only allowed to read one book in their lives (Dante's Divine Comedy, the first and last book written by an Italian) since Italian scientists proved that reading non-Italian books damages Italian cultural cohesion and that Catholics aren't allowed to read the [[Bible]]. Surprisingly, Italy is also home to an unrestricted [[emo]] scene, as the Guido sect of the [[MySpace]] site clearly shows a great density of [[indie|scene kids]], [[straight edge]] kids and [[punks]]. Since Italians can only speak local dialects, their tribes fall short of [[LiveJournal]] accounts in English.
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| ==Language==
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| [[Image:WopFood.jpg|thumb|140px|This is what Wops Actually eat. Cheese with Maggots in it. Yummy!!!!!!]]
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| The Italian language is [[Latin|Neolatin]], so it is known to be antiquated, inefficient and [[retarded]]. As a consequence of so much conditioning with a [[gay|florid]] language, Italian-speakers are generally less intelligent than English-speakers. This is evidenced by the fact that the Italian government can never come to consensus with their highly fictionalized excuse for a parliament. Something that should be pointed out among Italians [[OL]] is that they can be split in two categories: the [[Internet Tough Guy]]s and the [[noob|ones that don't know the internets existed]] before they signed in to some [[retarded]] [[forum]]. [[Esperanto]] is a successful reform of the Italian language.
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| ==Culture==
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| [[Image:Palermo Catacombe dei Cappuccini.jpg|thumb|Italians have [[necrophilia|deep respect for the deceased]].]]
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| Notable Italian cultural highlights include:
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| * '''Tower of Pisa:''' a leaning tower that somehow has managed to not fall for centuries, despite the rest of the world hoping for its demise. The fact that it's still standing indicates that the [[Jews]] have not [[JEWS DID WTC|discovered it yet]].
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| * '''[[Pizza]]:''' the staple food of [[basement dwellers]] and [[Wiki]] editors.
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| * '''Gondola:''' Venice's idea of a boat. Kept alive only to scam [[white trash]] and [[Japan|Japanese]] tourists (200 Euros just to ride on it for twenty minutes!).
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| * '''[[soccer]]:''' Awesome sport that they are [[pussies]] at but still <strike>won the last world championship</strike> lost to [[Spain|Dagos Mk II]]
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| * '''Mafia:''' look behind you. No, [[srsly]].
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| * '''Capuchin Catacombs of Palermo:''' a shrine of [[death]].
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| * '''Spreading Sexually Transmitted Disease:''' being devout Catholics, the Italians still prefer sex without a condom. Can you blame them?
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| * '''The [[Pope]]:''' he resides in a little state inside the city of Vatican and avoids paying taxes. When questioned about that, he unleashes the brutal force of his Swiss Guard and [[Tori Sue Heck|elderly Italian women]] to silence the petitioner. The best pope was [[Pope Benedict XVI|Darth Benedict]], who [[Sarah Palin|quit]] like a pussy.
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| * '''[[Homosexuality]]:''' The only country in Europe gayer than Italy is Greece. Italians picked up homosexuality and pedophilia from Alexander the Great who was uber gay. Julius Caesar and Leonard Da Vinci are two of the most influential gays in Italian history. The Italians are so gay that the German word for homosexual was "Florenzer", which literally means a person from Florence. Renaissance Italy let the gays make great arts and inventions while the rest of Europe was in the Medieval habit of stoning teh gays.
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| == Football ==
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| Just kidding! Not the [[bullshit|REAL]] football, where you get to literally [[rape]] the shit outta any other player on the field (even if they are on your team). No this is soccer and its something the Italians are VERY proud of (troll for instant [[lulz]]) but also something no one likes them for because of their incredible diving skills that won them the [[serious business|World Cup!]]! [[butthurt]] [[retards]] keep [[trying too hard]] to troll about - seriously, [[Nobody|who gives a shit]]. Italy were the defending world Champions of the [[Fifa World Cup]] (as of June [[2010]]) but yet they don't seem to be able to beat a small little country that has more sheep than humans in the group stage! [[butthurt|Of course I am referring to New Zealand, to make matters worse for these fat pizza loving hairy mongrels, they only got their goal by diving like little girls. That is how italians are taught to play football. The Strikers are for scoring, Goalkeeper for saving goals, Defenders for defending from the opposition, and mid fielders for diving, resulting in penaltys which save their team from embarrasing defeats, such as Australia (2006) and New Zealand (2010)]]
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| ==Food==
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| [[Image:Towercat.jpg|thumb|150px|Towercat: Pisa's inspiration.]]
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| Many claim that the food of Italy is the best in the world, and most likely was invented at the Olive Garden. This is simply [[lies|not true]]. The reality is that most of the food made or associated with Italy is made from stolen [[marijuana|pot]] from [[pimp|African-Americans]] and [http://www.thefirstpost.co.uk/59830,people,news,italian-tv-chef-sacked-for-saying-stewed-cat-is-better-than-chicken?DCMP=NLC-daily cats]. This creates a euphoric effect, much like ham.
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| Italian food can be used to:
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| *Get laid.
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| *Please a superior at work, if they [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Situation_comedy invite themselves to your house.]
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| *Cure [[homosexuality|homosexuality]].
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| *Apply to the anus for a fairly sufficient anal lubricant.
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| The grease within Italian food has been linked to the increase in [[autism]]. Instead of Italians noticing this trend, Chef Tony continues to release official statements (because you know he's actually from Italy) that deny these claims. He then adds "buy my new shit" and spits at the [[liberal|news interviewers]].
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| ==Facts==
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| [[Image:Italians niggers of europe.jpg|thumb|Still better than being American, but not by much.]]
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| *All Italians are douchebags.
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| *All Italians have greasy hair.
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| *All Italians are at least distantly related to someone who is in the [[Mafia]].
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| *All Italians idolize Jew culture.
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| *All Italians think that Mariah Carey is a talented artist.
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| *All Italians deserve [[rule 34]], NO EXCEPTION. (There are some [[Italian Spiderman|exceptions]])
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| *All Italians carry [[cocks|pistols]] in 2 different [[buttsex|holsters]].
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| *All Italians [[butthurt|shout in Italian]] when they are mad.
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| *All Italians are to blame for bulimia.
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| ==Environmental Concerns==
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| <center><gallery>
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| Image:Napoli_01.jpg|Streets of Typical Wop City (Napoli).
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| Image:Napoli_02.jpg|Wop city.
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| Image:Napoli_03.jpg|Wop city.
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| Image:Napoli_04.jpg|(Ir)responsible Wop family in the streets of Napoli.
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| </gallery></center>
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| ==Economy==
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| Italy's GDP is made up almost entirely of [[Pope]] souvenirs and hardcore pornography; [[Aria Giovanni]] alone accounts for [[at least 100|at least 50]]% of Italy's GDP, while another consistent 49% is generated by [[Cock|Rocco Siffredi]]. Other notable incomes derive from extortion, racketeering and money laundering, something the Swiss aren't too happy about, since they thought they had the exclusive rights for these activities. It's absolutely legal for a politician in Italy to have other business + the wage they get as ministers, no matter if the rest of the wop people are eating their own shoes for lunch and dinner.
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| ==Trolling Italians==
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| [[File:Italian Baptism.png|thumb|right]]
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| * Mention that they were the only country in Europe to be ruled by an [[Benito Mussolini|archetypal comic book supervillain]].
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| * Remind them of how they couldn't conquer Ethiopia.
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| * Tell whatever individual you're talking to how much they resemble Ron Jeremy.
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| * Remind them of the fall of the Roman Empire.
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| * Ask for directions in Latin.
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| * Remind them that they were not even considered citizens of Rome until the very end of it.
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| * Ask them if they work as a chef, plumber, or marionette maker. If they say they don't, tell 'em to quit lying.
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| * Tell them you prefer [[Russia|Russian]] food over theirs.
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| * Tell them Rome copied everything from Greece, and every other civilization they conquered.
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| * Ask them why they don't have a moustache.
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| * Tell them America was a pretty cool place until the 1880's when they showed up.
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| * [[Coincidence|Point out their lack of creativity in their mythology]].
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| * Ask them why they eat rotting maggot cheese and watch them try to explain.
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| * Remind them that they have a long line of terrible Engineers, they built a city that sunk and a tower that's falling.
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| * Remind them that they're not white(anymore).
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| * Remind them of their humiliating military failures in [[Libya]] (Fuken Retards).
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| * Remind them that Rome was a melting pot, and Italics only made up a small percentage of it.
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| * Call them Wogs or Guineas.
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| * Tell them that the Jersey Shore faggots are accurate depiction of most Italians.
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| * Tell them the only half decent looking Italians are those of the northern tip.
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| * Remind them how even East Asians are taller than them.
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| * Remind them of their African admixture.
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| * Ask them how does it feel to know that blondism & blue eyes are more common in Ashkenazi Jews than Italians.
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| * Tell them they look like Arabs or Turks.
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| * Remind them the Asian migrants in the last 30 years have made a greater economical impact for the United States than the Italians have in the last 100 years.
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| ==Italian Americans==
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| [[Image:Alcapone.jpg|thumb|140px|Al Capone, prominent Italian, and Julius Caesar's assassin.]]
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| [[Image:200px-ItalianPopulationMascott1888.jpg|thumb|The proper wayy of dealing with WOPs.]]
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| [[Guidos]], despite not being Italian or even human, mistakenly believe themselves to be descendants of the first Italian heroic model, Aeneas. Despite speaking no Italian whatsoever (apart from 'Oogatz' which isn't even a word, but a derivation from 'Il Cazzo' translated as 'The Dick', accustomed to the sexual and gastronomic desires of Italians), and believing the pinnacle of Italian cuisine to be a meatball sandwich, they still cling to this pseudo-history. They enjoy swearing, haircuts and huffing Axe body spray.
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| Many families left Italy in the 1940s on boats or [[Power Rangers|megazords]] in hopes of opening pizzerias in the [[United States]]. Instead they raised a generation of tanned [[steroids|olive oil]] guzzling assholes who, to this day, populate America's [[rave|club]] [[scene]]. It should be noted that today in New York City, home of the first [[Mario|Italian-American family]], all the pizzerias are now owned by [[Mexicans]] or Mr. [[Jeff Goldblum]]. Some come to America just to play [[guitar]] e.g. Satriani and Petrucci.<br><br>
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| [[File:Mafia jews aka kosher nostra obvious joke.jpg|center|600px]]<br>
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| ==The Italian Chan==
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| [[Diochan]], AKA Pastachan, is the only existing [[chan]] in Italian. And it sucks.
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| ==Berlusconi gets hit with a brick==
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| [[Image:Berlusconibaww.jpg|thumb|140px|Berlusconi bricked!]]
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| [[Image:Miss italy.jpg|thumb|140px|Berlusconi [[I see what you did there|hard at work]].]]
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| Silvio Berlusconi, the PM of Italy and all around dickhead has always been a true cocksucking champion. Sadly, this was changed when he got hit in his dicksucking instrument(mouth) with a brick by a butthurt guido.
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| ==Galleria <s>Italiano</s> Greaseball==
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| {{cg||ItalyPix|center|<gallery>
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| File:Berlusconi.jpg|Typical Italian imitation of Cockmongler.
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| File:Massimo-small.jpg|[[Reaction guy]]
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| File:Veltroni.jpg|Reaction guy 2
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| File:Bossi.jpg|No caption needed
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| </gallery>|<gallery>
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| File:Lustifera_bee.jpg|The height of [[Lustifera|Italian fashion]].
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| File:Mario_1.jpg|Your average Italian: short, chubby, and filthy. Hygiene is not in their vocabulary.
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| File:Pompeii Garden of the Fugitives 02.jpg|[[Lol]] [[pwnt]].
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| File:Berlusconismacks.JPG|Italy's godfather about to smack Putin's pet chihuahua in the muzzle
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| File:LuigiNoLikePasta.png|Contrary to popular opinion, not all Italians like Pasta.
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| File:Veltroni-CSB.jpg|[[Cool Story Bro]]
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| File:Veltroni kills threads.jpg|What italian politicians do on [[4chan]]
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| File:Obama-chuck-norris-berlusconi.jpg|American interpretation of why Berlusconi was hit in the face
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| File:CostaConcordia.png|Italian cruise ship captain [[Costa Concordia|doing it wrong.]]
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| File:super_mario_and_luigi.jpg|Dago siblings wear different colors so that [[You|you]] can tell them apart.
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| File:Efg italy.jpg
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| </gallery>}}<br>
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| == WopTube ==
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| {{center|
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| <youtube>UhHhXukovMU</youtube>
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| ;[[Italian Spiderman]]?
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| <br/>
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| <br/>
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| <youtube>9BJThn0IDrY</youtube>
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| ;Traffic in [[Redneck|Naples]]
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| }}
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| == See Also ==
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| [[File:Julius caesar - italian souvenir.jpg|right|350px]]
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| *[[Guido]]
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| *[[Hacking Team]]
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| *[[Hetalia]]
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| *[[Wop]]
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| *[[Mario]]
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| *[[Wario]]
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| *[[Weegee]]
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| *[[Roman Empire]]
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| *[[Costa Concordia]]
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| {{clear}}
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| {{commonwealth}}
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| {{timeline|Featured article May 22 & 23, [[2012]]|[[Raziel]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[The Legend of Korra]]}}
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