|
|
| Line 1: |
Line 1: |
| {{an hero}}
| |
|
| |
| {{ib|[[File:Gian Luigi Ferri.jpg|250px]]}}
| |
| {{Ibhead|<big>'''Gian_Luigi_Ferri'''</big>}}
| |
| {{Ibrow|'''Born'''|December 29, 1937}}
| |
| {{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]] [[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
| |
| {{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|8 killed, 6 injured}}
| |
| {{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|lol no}}
| |
| {{Ibrow|'''Style'''|FPS, Single player}}
| |
| {{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|Yes}}
| |
| {{Ibrow|'''Motive'''|[[Depression]]}}
| |
| {{Ibend}}
| |
|
| |
| Gian Luigi Ferri (born Gianluigi Ettore Ferri) is the [[wop]] responsible for the [[lulziest]] day in the history of [[San Franshitshow]]. Armed with a pair of TEC-9's and the fact that his life had gone down the fucking shitter, Mr. Ferri went out to set the new [[American]] [[High Score]], but he [[failed]], just like how he failed at literally everything else in his life. However, he found solace in the form of creating massive amounts of [[butthurt]] across the country.
| |
|
| |
|
| ==Background==
| |
|
| |
| Not much is known about Mr. Ferri's [[sad]] and miserable life, except that he was [[poor]] for most of it. His entire professional career in the [[Donald Trump|real estate business]] had been defined by the fact that he kept getting [[Jews|kiked]] out of his rightfully earned [[shekels]]. Even after winning a [[Money|1 million dollar]] settlement, he still couldn't manage to unfuck himself from the hole dug around him. His own mortgage business couldn't get any clients, his credit score was down the shitter, and he couldn't even [[The Rent Is Too Damn High|pay the damn rent]]. He blamed all of his troubles on [[The Man|more successful companies]] instead of himself for not knowing what the fuck he was doing. One of these companies, Pettit & Martin, would be the eventual target of Mr. Ferri's [[rage]].
| |
|
| |
| The last straw came when Mr. Ferri couldn't even file bankruptcy, [[Capitalism|because he couldn't afford the bankruptcy fee]].
| |
|
| |
| ==Previously on Let's Play==
| |
|
| |
| [[Image:No fun allowed exploitablee.png|thumb|left|California passing gun control (c. 1989)]]
| |
|
| |
| The topic of [[gun control]] was fresh in all of [[California|Commiefornia]] due to another [[shitlord]] who attempted at setting the [[high score]] four years earlier. That shitlord is none other than [[Patrick Purdy]], who [[pwned]] 5 [[Gook|gooklets]] at Stockton Elementary in 1989 before an heroing. Since Mr. Purdy used an [[Gun|assault rifle]], Commiefornia set out to be the ultimate [[buzzkill]] by completely [[Retard|banning any kind of "assault weapon"]]. This proved difficult for Mr. Ferri to set the High Score, because we all know shit disappears once it's banned, right?
| |
|
| |
| ==The Shooting==
| |
|
| |
| Channeling his inner Hans Gruber, Mr. Ferri took an elevator to the <s>35th</s> 34th floor (a [[thot|secretary]] ruined his plans by pushing an elevator button on the 34th floor), and began what was to be the the single best day in the history of the entire Bay Area. Using his loadout, he first [[pwned]] an [[Feminist|entitled bitch]] and her [[Jewish]] lawyer; he then began moving down from the 34th floor, ultimately leaving 6 more [[noobs]] [[rekt]] before the [[party van]] showed up in hopes of cutting the madman's spree short. Seeing the [[cops]] come up the stairs, Mr. Ferri had no other choice but to end his spree in the most logical way possible; by becoming [[an hero]].
| |
|
| |
| ==The Ultimate Lolcow==
| |
|
| |
| As mentioned before, gun control was in the minds of all Californians after the Stockton shooting. However, this didn't stop the entirety of [[America]] from going [[Full Retard]] around 1994. Led by none other than [[Dianne Feinstein]], a pity-party full of [[pathetic]] sobbing [[losers]] descended onto [[Washington, D.C.]] in hopes of spreading their [[buzzkilling]] to the entire fucking country. Collectively they descended onto [[Congress]] screeching for gun control like the liberal harpies they are (hmmm, I wonder [[David Hogg|who else]] this could describe). Unfortunately for the rest of the 49 states, they succeeded in banning big scary boomsticks in what was to be known as the 1994 Assault Weapons Ban. At least their incessant groveling worked this time around (spoiler alert, [[Columbine|it didn't]]).
| |
|
| |
| <center><youtube>M1k5JpmOg-E</youtube></center>
| |
| <center>'''''Cry harder you [[Jew|Hook-nosed]] gun-grabbing [[manchild]]'''''</center>
| |
|
| |
| ==Loadout==
| |
|
| |
| <div align="center">
| |
| {|class="wikitable" width="40%"
| |
| !colspan="2"|Class Setup
| |
| |-
| |
| !Item
| |
| !Accessories/Bonus
| |
| |-
| |
| |
| |
| *'''Primary''': Intratech TEC-DC9
| |
| <center>[[File:Dylan Tec9.jpg|70px]]</center>
| |
| |
| |
| *Your typical jam-o-matic machine pistol. Same model that would be used by [[Dylan Klebold|Papa Dylan]] later on. '''21-33 Damage.'''
| |
| *'''Attachment 1: Akimbo.''' Allows dual-wielding.
| |
| *'''Attachment 2: Extended Mags.''' Allows the user to fire longer without reloading.
| |
| |-
| |
| |
| |
| *'''Secondary''': Norinco M1911
| |
| <center>[[File:CODMWR1911.png|70px]]</center>
| |
| |
| |
| *Shitty Chinese knock-off of the Colt 1911. Used only to an hero. '''Causes Instant Death to User.'''
| |
| |-
| |
| |
| |
| *'''Perk 1''': Ghost Pro
| |
| <center>[[Image:ATS_Ghost_Pro.png|50px]]</center>
| |
| |
| |
| *Invisible against Spy Planes.
| |
| |-
| |
| |
| |
| *'''Perk 2''': Stopping Power Pro
| |
| <center>[[Image:ATS_Stopping_Power_Pro.png|50px]]</center>
| |
| |
| |
| *Hollow Point bullets enable all guns to do 40% More Damage.
| |
| |}
| |
| </div>
| |
|
| |
| ==Graded Score==
| |
|
| |
| {| style="{{roundy|18px}}{{gradlinear|red|orange}}box-shadow:0 3px 6px gray;padding:1em;margin:0 auto 1em auto;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" border="0"
| |
| |-
| |
| ! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:red;box-shadow:0 3px 6px orange;" | <big>Graded score</big>
| |
| |-
| |
| | colspan="2" style="height:9px;overflow:hidden;" |
| |
| |-
| |
| ! style="text-align:right;" | Kill count:
| |
| |8/20
| |
| |-
| |
| ! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Accuracy:
| |
| |17/20
| |
| |-
| |
| ! style="text-align:right;" | Style:
| |
| |20/20 ''High Rise Horror''
| |
| |-
| |
| ! style="text-align:right;" | Butthurt:
| |
| |20/20 ''America banned a bunch of guns''
| |
| |-
| |
| ! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Bonus:
| |
| |20/20 ''Had the same effect as [[Parkland]] 25 years before''
| |
| |-
| |
| ! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:orange;box-shadow:0 3px 6px yellow;" | <big>Total score: 85/100 ('''B''')</big>
| |
| |}
| |
|
| |
| <center>'''The Italian Stallion.'''</center>
| |
| <center>'''[[High Score| See full ranking]]'''</center>
| |
|
| |
|
| |
| <center>
| |
| <div style="{{roundy|10px}}border:2px solid #000;width:30%;background:linear-gradient(#e18f80, #666c05);background:-moz-linear-gradient(#002db3, #4da6ff);background:-webkit-linear-gradient(#002db3, #4da6ff);background:-o-linear-gradient(#e18f80, #666c05);padding:10px;font-weight:bold;font-size:larger">
| |
| <span style="font-size:16pt;">'''Wanted Level:'''</span>
| |
| <br>
| |
| <span> ___________________ </span>
| |
| {|align="center"
| |
| |[[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]]
| |
| |[[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]]
| |
| |[[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]]
| |
| |[[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]]
| |
| |}
| |
| <span> ___________________ </span>
| |
| <br>
| |
| {|align="center"
| |
| |[[File:Wanted3fbi.png|128px]]
| |
| |}
| |
| <br>
| |
| <span style="font-size:12pt;">'''Federal Bureau of Investigation'''</span>
| |
| </div><br>
| |
| </center>
| |
|
| |
| ==See Also==
| |
|
| |
| *[[9/11]] - Another tragedy involving high rise towers
| |
| *[[James Huberty]]
| |
| *[[Patrick Purdy]]
| |
| *[[George Hennard]]
| |
| *[[Nikolas Cruz]]
| |
| *[[Mass Shooting]]
| |
| *[[Gun Control]]
| |
| *[[An hero]]
| |
|
| |
| {{Anheroes}}
| |
| {{High Scores}}
| |
| {{Gun control}}
| |
| [[Category:People|Ferri, Gian Luigi]]
| |
| [[Category:Murder]]
| |
