|
|
Line 1: |
Line 1: |
| {{stub}}
| | #REDIRECT [[Apology]] |
| | |
| [[Image:Randy_Duke_Cunningham.jpg|thumb|300px|[[Republican]] embezzler 'Duke' Cunningham, in a rare public '''"I'm sorry."''' His tears were more for the anticipated 8 years of prison buttsecks he was in for than actual remorse.]]
| |
| Not to be confused with [[trolls remorse]], '''sorry''' is the last refuge of an [[IRL troll]] when [[bribery]] is no longer an option.
| |
| | |
| '''Sorry''' in this context should never be confused with actual [[butthurt|sorrow]] nor is it an actual [[true|heartfelt]] apology, but is usually a [[the End|last-ditch]] attempt by the troll to save his or her job -especially when the troll involved [[black]]s and [[Al Sharpton]] and [[Jesse Jackson]] are calling for [[unemployed|your head]].
| |
| | |
| <center>
| |
| <youtube>5ypUz1WYens</youtube>
| |
| </center>
| |
| | |
| == The Six Stages of "Sorry" ==
| |
| | |
| This form of 'apology' is usually accompanied by:
| |
| | |
| # An immediate [[bullshit|hyperbolic]] press release spewing [[lulz|remorse]] issued through a [[liar|PR person]].
| |
| # An appearance on The Larry King show. | |
| # Turning your life over to [[God]].
| |
| # Entering [[rehab]] of some sort (from [[Alcoholics Anonymous]] to [[pot|Anger Management]]).
| |
| # Meeting with the [[offended]] group in question.
| |
| # Suicide secondary to crippling guilt.
| |
| # [[????]]
| |
| # [[PROFIT]]!
| |
| | |
| | |
| It is extremely rare, however, for the offender to get beyond Stage 2.
| |
| | |
| == [[Lies|Saying Sorry]] on the Internet ==
| |
| | |
| [[Image:Formal_Apology.jpg|thumb|300px|How to express your remorse on the interbutts.]]
| |
| | |
| Given that the internet has made IRL contact redundant, much to the pleasure of all [[basement dwelling]] [[virgin]]s who sit on their computers 24/7, new methods of apology have evolved.
| |
| | |
| Since no [[serious]] ED user has ever been observed apologizing for anything, completing this section is currently [[Obama|beyond our pay grade]].
| |
| | |
| | |
| == Notable People Who Are "Sorry" ==
| |
| *[[Mary Bale]]
| |
| *[[Rick Sanchez]]
| |
| *[[Helen Thomas]]
| |
| *[[BP]]
| |
| *[[Tiger Woods]]
| |
| *[[Jesse James]]
| |
| *[[Michael Vick]]
| |
| *[[Don Imus]]
| |
| *[[Kramer]]
| |
| *[[Mel Gibson]]
| |
| *[[Kevin Rudd]]
| |
| *[[TV|Isaiah Washington]]
| |
| *[[sport|Tim Hardaway]]
| |
| *[[Rush Limbaugh]]
| |
| *[[England|The English]]
| |
| *[[Ted Haggard]]
| |
| *[[George Allen]]
| |
| *[[Paris Hilton]]
| |
| *[[Lindsay Lohan]]
| |
| *[[Nicole Richie]]
| |
| *[[Eliot Spitzer]]
| |
| *[[Beastie Boys]]
| |
| *[[Toyota]] [http://topnews.com.sg/content/2914-toyota-sorry-product-recall]
| |
| *[http://sports.espn.go.com/ncaa/news/story?id=2999217 Mike Nifong]
| |
| *[http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/threatlevel/2010/02/vision_letter.pdf Max Vision] [http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2010/02/max-vision-sentencing/ brb, jail]
| |
| *[[Judge William Adams]]
| |
| | |
| == Notable [[troll|People]] Who Are Never "Sorry" ==
| |
| {{Finalsolutions}}
| |
| === [[OTI]] ===
| |
| * [[ED]]
| |
| ** ajt
| |
| ** [[BURK]]
| |
| ** [[eppigy]]
| |
| ** [[ODB]]
| |
| ** [[Sheneequa]]
| |
| * [[Anonymous]]
| |
| | |
| === [[IRL]] ===
| |
| [[Image:Sorry_guys.jpg|thumb|300px|The list to the [[wrong|left]] was clearly made by a Jew. [[truth|Hitler has nothing to be sorry for.]]]]
| |
| * [[Adolf Hitler]]
| |
| * [[Alberto Gonzales]]
| |
| * [[Andy Kaufman]]
| |
| * [[Ann Coulter]]
| |
| * [[Bernie Madoff]]
| |
| * [[Bill O'Reilly]]
| |
| * [[Borat]]
| |
| * [[Fred Phelps]]
| |
| * [[Geoffrey Leonard]]
| |
| * [[George Bush]]
| |
| * [[John Howard]]
| |
| * [[John Mark Karr]]
| |
| * [[Michael Phelps]]
| |
| * [[Nancy Pelosi]]
| |
| * [[Osama bin Laden]]
| |
| * [[OJ Simpson]]
| |
| * [[R. Lee Ermey]]
| |
| * [[Rod Blagojevich]]
| |
| * [[Sarah Palin]]
| |
| * [[White people]]
| |
| * [[Me]]
| |
| * [[I did it for the lulz|People who did it for the lulz]]
| |
| | |
| == See Also ==
| |
| | |
| *[[Trolls remorse]]
| |
| *[[Rehab]]
| |
| *[[Confession]]
| |
| *[[Sorrow]]
| |
| *[[Canada]]
| |
| *[[You]]
| |
| | |
| {{Language}}
| |
| {{Trolls}}
| |
| | |
| [[Category:IRL Shit]]
| |
| [[Category:Events]]
| |
| [[Category:Trolls]] | |