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| [[File:Alien-Monkey child.jpeg|200px|right]]
| | Bacteria: Bacteria! We begin with only one! |
| [[File:Why did I trade dinosaurs for humans.jpg|200px|right]]
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| [[File:Pekka13.jpg|200px|right]]
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| '''People''' (also known as '''Humans''', which stands for [[Huge]] [[Ugly]] [[Niggers|Monkeys]]) are a species of smooth, smelly creatures who populate the [[Earth]] and the [[internets]]. They are the third biggest source of [[lulz]] next to [[animals]] and [[LOL|dead babies]]. [[User:Dildo Baggins|TheEvilBlueberryCouncil]] [[hates]] them. While most creatures of [[Earth]] work together to form a better society, humans prefer to [[hate]] each other and disagree on every subject, [[hypocrites|even if they don't mean it]]; they just do it because they can. Humans also like to [[Murder|kill each other]] and [[Suicide|themselves]]. This is because Man's brain is [[over 9,000]] times the size of an apes and is too [[sleep|heavy]] to function properly. The word human derives from Latin "homō" which means gay; the "ō" at the end indicates that this more than just gay; thus, homō = "ultra gay".
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| {{quote|Humanity is a disgusting, wretched, depraved species. If I had it in my power, I would stop at nothing to reduce every single one of you to mountains of skulls and rivers of blood. And rightfully so.|[[Elliot Rodger]], (the ''Supreme Gentleman™'')'s view on humanity.}}
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| == Diet ==
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| The diet of people is varied, and usually includes fruits, grains, nuts, vegetables, [[McDonald's]] and other [[cows|creatures]]. [[Vegetarians]] refuse to eat the other creatures because of the [[Slashdot|karma]], man, so they get an extra helping of lentils instead. Some people, especially [[16-year-old girl]]s, have [[anorexia]] which means their diet consists of pretty much nothing at all except for maybe their fingernails and the occasional razor blade, leaving plenty left over for the [[fatties]]. (See also: [[Food]])
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| == Intelligence ==
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| [[You]] probably thought that humans are really intelligent and much more superior than everything else on this planet because they told you so or you heard it on the news and [[you]] blindly fell for it (especially if you are a true [[obese|Murrican]]). We are sorry to inform you but as usual you are ''wrong''. Most people on the planet are borderline [[retard|retarded]],act without any common sense, and need others to rule them or make up an opinion for them since they are too dumb to think for themselves. Tl;Dr: Most Humans are just Sheep. All the technological achievements ever made are owed to a [[genius|small group of individuals]] who are approximately 0.01% of the living human population and are willing to carry the heavy wagon known as human technological progress along with all the retards in it. [[ALL CAPS|ITS ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS AND IT IS ALWAYS WILL BE]] so learn to live with it [[dumbfuck]]. In fact if you take all the people and release them into the wild without any modern technology which they didn't contribue to make in the first place the vast majority of them will die within the first week.
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| We got you worried if you are stupid or not ???
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| '''How to tell if you are a [[dumbfuck]]''':
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| *[[You]] listen to autotune sounds made by [[Justin Bieber]], [[Lady Gaga]] or [[Kanye West]] and [[you]] think OMG ITS THE BEST MUSIC EVAAAAR!!!!111!1
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| *[[You]] consider [[Fox News]] as a legitimate source of information
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| *[[You]] for that matter believe everything [[Jews|made by the corporate media]] and make strong opinion about it.
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| *[[You]] think that a bunch of filthy [[Arabs]] [[JEWS DID WTC|did WTC]]
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| *[[You]] care about the personal life of [[celebrities]]
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| *[[You]] watch shows like the [[Kim Kardashian|Kardashians]]
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| *[[You]] think [[Handegg]] should be called football
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| *[[You]] can't control the usage of [[drugs]] or [[alcohol]]
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| *[[You]] don't know how to turn on the DVD player
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| *[[You]] are reading this from a [[Mac]]
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| *[[You]] eat fast food everyday
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| *[[You]] eat, breathe, sleep, blink, piss or shit.
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| *[[You]] (if you are [[American|Amerikunt]]) find nothing wrong with your health care system
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| *[[You]] (if you are [[American|Amerikunt]]) think justice is blind and for all
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| *[[You]] (if you are [[American|Amerikunt]]) join the [[Army]] because you think its patriotic
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| *[[You]] (if you are [[American|Amerikunt]]) you think [[America|Amerikkka]] invaded Iraq for 9/11
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| *[[You]] (if you are [[American|Amerikunt]]) you think [[America|Amerikkka]] won the war in Vietnam
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| *[[You]] (if you are [[American|Amerikunt]]) think [[America|Amerikkka]] is number 1
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| *[[You]] can't find your country on the world map
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| *[[You]] don't eat pigs because God said so
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| *[[You]] think women would want to sleep with you for being a nice guy
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| *[[You]] think [[Twilight|Robert Pattison]] is a good actor or in any way hot
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| *[[You]] are a [[blogger]]
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| *[[You]] cry like a [[faggot]] for the death of a [[Daddy|dictator]]
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| *[[You]] exist.
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| == Recreation ==
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| Aside from exploring the [[internets]], people enjoy hill walking, eating meat, stamp collecting and white-water rafting. Also the most favorite of these activities is the good-old sport "piss the fuck out of your neighbor", a humorous [[game]] used when a human has nothing else to do and feels a deep emotion known as ''malice''.
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| == Mating Habits ==
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| {{Main|Sex}}
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| Humans are divided into two sexes, male and female. Generally, the woman signals that she is ready for sex by showing the man her bung hole. The man responds by getting an erection. Then the mating occurs just like in lower animals, except that the woman lies on her back with her legs in the air, except when resting on her legs with her butt in the air. Usually this occurs only if the individuals are familiar with each other, and "special friends".
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| For [[at least 100 years]] people have used [[sex]] for breeding purposes. During this time many [[sexual]] deviations (such as [[furry]] [[yiffing]] and [[arborphilia]]) have evolved. Curiously, most of these contribute no special advantage whatsoever to the development of the people gene pool. This is because the object of the mating act is to get the penis inserted into the vagina. The actual selection of genes happens over long periods of time prior to mating, and involves candle light dinners and chocolate, so that the woman can see if the man she will mate with is really committed to the relationship or not. [[Over 9,000]] people in [[America]] have [[AIDS]].
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| Creatures like [[Chin-chan]], who can't use [[sex]] for obvious reasons, try to reproduce by buying [[sperm]] at sperm banks. The only [[losers]] at this situation are [[children]], who get picked on all the time, because they have [[ugly]] mothers.
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| == Warfare ==
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| {{Main|Warfare}}
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| Warfare is the humans' favorite activity. It has been so for their entire existence, even before people decided that things needed to be written down. Wars have mainly been fought over [[Freedom]], [[Pr0n]], [[Jew Gold]], [[Period|Menstrual cycles]], [[Oil]] and the last ''Halo 2'' copy in the store. Two of the most popular wars were World War I and [[World War II]]. As a species, humans have never lost a war. Humans are extremely dangerous fighters and will readily fight to the [[death]], especially if you steal their [[weed]] stash, destroy their pr0n or call them [[fags]].
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| == Human Nature ==
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| {{Main|Crap}}
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| *Can only consider one side of an argument at a time, and become completely convinced they are right by arguing it.
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| *Think it is OK to do controversial things as long as other people are also doing them.
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| *Wacko Jacko sang [[death|this]] on his Back-o.
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| == Look-Alikes ==
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| * [[Spics]] - Not people.
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| * [[Jews]] - Not people.
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| * [[Niggers]] - Not people.
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| * [[Arab]] - Not people.
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| * [[Ginger]] - Not people.
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| * [[Women]] - Not people.
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| == In denial ==
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| * [[Furries]] - Wish they weren't people: achieve this by dressing up in [[fursuits]].
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| * [[Otherkin]] - Wish they weren't people: achieve this by claiming they have the souls of [[dragon]]s.
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| == Gallery ==
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| {{center|
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| <gallery>
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| Image:humandrawingis4xy4.jpg|Example of how people are fucked up.
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| Image:People111.jpg|People are so famous that they named a whole magazine after them.
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| Image:Packed_people.jpg|In some parts of the world, people are a delicacy and can be purchased prepacked.
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| Image:Statuettes.gif|wimins have the tits!
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| </gallery>
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| }}
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| == See also ==
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| * [[Earth]]
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| * [[King Of The Nerds]]
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| * [[Life]]
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| * [[Old people]]
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| * [[PeopleOfWalmart]]
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| * [[ppl]]
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| * [[Voluntary Human Extinction Movement]]
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| * [[You]]
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| == External links ==
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| * [http://www.dpjs.co.uk/misanthropy.html "People are Shit"]
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| {{life}}
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| {{stub}}
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| [[Category:People| ]]
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Bacteria: Bacteria! We begin with only one!
