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Revision as of 03:18, 21 March 2022
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BREAKING NEWS!! VINE IS FUCKING DEAD!!!1 |
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Vine is what happens when you combine the short attention span of Twitter, the attention whoring of YouTube, the autism of 5secondfilms and cram it all onto a tiny cell phone screen.
Vine is a free app created by Twitter that's available for iOS and Android. Because it's both free and retard-friendly the majority of it's userbase consists of niggers making race jokes to get views and likes from stupid white people.
Content
Some time ago, a few entrepreneuring young negros discovered that being black and making references to watermelon and kool-aid was the perfect formula for making popular Vines. As a result, half of the videos on Vine are niggers (usually from Florida for some reason) making nigger jokes, with the other half being irrelevant, unfunny shit made by white teenage girls.
Rumor has it that deep in the bowels of Vine there are genuinely good videos with actual effort put into them. This statement has yet to be confirmed, mostly because nobody wants to dig through all the shit to find them.
Vine "Celebrities"
Since Vine got popular a lot of teenage faggots decided they could get the attention their parents deprived them of by filming themselves acting like retards for the internet to laugh at.
Jack Jones
Britfag meets with freedom
Joey Essex wannabe Jack Jones is a Britfag Vine celebrity who has amassed a following of Viners by going up to people in the street and seeing how long he can act like an obnoxious autistic virgin before he gets punched in the face by a big black guy who made him cum in his pants. He leads the trend of faggots who walk around with smartphones filming people who aren't attention whoring ass-lickers.
Nash Grier
Unfortunately this cancer is not contained to Britfags. Nash Grier is a 17 year old with a face as punchable as everyone who posts on Vine. He is a Jesusfag who uses Vine to copy Fox News by bleeping out swearwords and talking about how he wants to kill faggots and negroes and Asians. Despite his offensive content he caused the most controversy over an innocent video where he talked about what type of girls he liked because white knights and social justice warriors are fags.
The Gabbie Show
An unfunny whore who got her phone broken by some scrawny little asian.
Amanda Cerny
Former playmate who made top quality vines that heavily featured her showing her ass and tits for laughs.
Brandon Bowen
Obese cuckservative who made that fucking retarded blocking out the haters video, and for some reason is 20 years old, yet he looks like he's 11.
Celebrities try to cash in
Jerry Seinfeld jews it up
Notable "Vines"
Some of these 7-second recordings have garnered attention from all the fucktarded 13-year-olds from around the world. As expected, all of these fads were created by lazy Niggers who just happened to be smart enough to figure out how to operate a Smartphone camera. The following examples offer quite an interesting insight into the social lives of Niggers and their obnoxious "culture":
- 9 + 10 = 21: A video showing a Niglet answering a mathematical equation with the incorrect answer. The ape behind the camera claims that it's companion is "stupid", and proves his theory by presenting him with a question; "What's nine plus ten?". The young coon replies with the number "21". As a result of this fuck-up, the number "21" has become a degenerate mockery to the formal science of mathematics, and is forever cursed by the unfunny faggots of society. If the people in this video were White, no one would give a fuck.
- Deez Nuts: A video of a retarded nigger playing a prank call over the telephone, exclaiming to the recipient; "Oh, 'cause something came in the mail today... DEEZ NUTS! ... HAH; GAHT 'EEM!!!1" That's it. It's narrative is completely out of context, not to mention that it's one of the shittiest attempts at prank calling ever made. Again, people only think it's funny because he's black... and retarded.
- What Are Those?!: In this miserable failure of an attempt at comedy, some street nigger from da hood is being questioned by a black police officer when
heit says out loud; "Officer I got one question for you." followed by the camera pointing down to the officer's shoes and screaming "WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOSE?!" This faggot managed to spawn an entire cult following on social media as a result of his stupid and ignorant "prank". Based on what we know of this specimen's intellect, it's astonishing that this shit-for-brains fuckwit has managed to survive past the age of three without accidentally killing himself/others.
- Back At It Again At Krispy Kreme: Some nigger is filled with joy that he has acquired a job at a high class resturaunt, so he decides to do a black flip and knocks down one of the fucking signs.
The Compilations
Since Vine is somehow so popular, tons of compilation channels have popped up. 99.99% of them follow these guidelines.
- Give no credit to those who made the vines
- Have misleading thumbnails (ex. woman's ass, tits)
- Make money off of other people's work
Previous Video | Next Video
When Instagram heard of this genius invention, they instantly got jealous of the fact that their app was no longer the coolest. They got so jelly that they added an identical feature to their app - possibly the only thing Instagram could have done to make their app even more retarded.
External links
See also
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Vine is part of a series on Visit the Social Media Portal for complete coverage. |