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| {{archenemy|WP:DAILYMAIL|Wikipedia}}
| | #REDIRECT [[The Daily Mail]] |
| [[File:Daily mail nhs sperm bank for lesbians.jpg|center|400px]]<br><br>
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| [[File:Daily mail offices clock northcliffe house.png|thumb|right|300px|Please adjust your watches to 1934]]
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| [[File:Daily mail bedding a harlot is wrong february 20, 2018.jpg|right|200px|thumb|Better make that 1834]]
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| '''The Daily Mail''' (moar like '''The ''Faily Fail''''', [[STFU|amirite?]]) is a British [[tabloid]] and website which feeds off of fake indignation and outrage. Founded in 1896, it is basically Britain's <s>answer to</s> equivalent of [[Fox News]]. Edited by [[Hitler|Paul Dacre,]] The Daily Mail is known for its lopsided political views, jumping from one side of The [[Immigrant]] Question in [[France|Calais]] to the other, and overusing many different words.
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| In an ever-changing world, the average [[fag|British man]] in the street needs [[hugbox|stability and reassurance]], and chooses his daily reading material accordingly. Unfortunately, the average British man in the street is a sopping cunt. Therefore, the Mail prospers by mounting a never-ending, full-spectrum tactical assault on the sensibilities of the small-minded, who are led to believe [[Fact|that the UK will very soon be submerged into the sea by the weight of illegal immigrants arriving daily to steal the nation's benefits while raping its children,]] and furthermore that this submersion would be proof that global warming was wrong.
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| (We say 'British man' but in fact [https://www.themediabriefing.com/article/youth-audiences-newspaper-old-demographics-advertising the Mail's readership] is more than 50% [[Women|teh wimminz]]. Ironic, since [[feminists]] believe the Mail is part of the [[Patriarchy|global conspiracy to demean women]] and that the world would be more left-wing [[Self-pwn|if only there were more women like Mrs. Thatcher).]])
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| If you think this makes it a typical joke newspaper, you'd be right. But if you think that means it can be ignored, you'd be wrong. The Mail's website has [http://www.campaignlive.co.uk/article/1313132/newspaper-abcs-digital-figures-august-2014?src_site=mediaweek nearly 12m unique user sessions per day] and is [http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-16743645 the most-read English language newspaper on the planet.]
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| This situation - imagine a parallel universe in which Agatha Christie becomes a Nobel Laureate and the world's best-selling author - is made even weirder by the fact that the planet's second most-read online newspaper is [[The Guardian|The Guardian,]] which is even more fail and Daily Mail kryptonite in that it is written by and for leftie airheads who live in [[Londonistan|north London]] and eat [[irony|avocados while worrying about their carbon footprint]].
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| ==In a nutshell==
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| On 3 October 2011, the Daily Mail reported the verdict in the courtroom saga of [[Foxy Knoxy|Amanda Knox,]] some braindead, white trash [[whore]] who was accused of murdering someone or some shit, it went on longer than [[OJ Simpson]] and by the end no-one could remember what she was originally charged with. It had most of the [[Drama|qualities]] the Mail wants in a story: Sex, blood, murder, depravity, young women, sinister foreigners, alleged miscarriage of justice, Brit in foreign prison, you name it. Quotes:
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| {{morphquote|morphquote|background-color: white; margin: auto;|font-weight: bold;
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| |Amanda Knox looked stunned this evening after she dramatically lost her prison appeal against her murder conviction.|"stunned"
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| |Knox, 24, and her family had high hopes that she would be freed and allowed to return home after spending the last four years behind bars for the killing of Meredith Kercher in Perugia, Italy, in 2007.|"Behind bars"
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| |In December 2009 she had been sentenced to 26 years and last night the judge and jury agreed with prosecutors that she should remain in prison as they accepted that she had brutally murdered student Meredith.|"Brutally murdered"
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| |Judge Claudio Pratillo Hellman also ruled that Raffaele Sollecito, 27, Knox's former boyfriend, should remain in jail and confirmed the original 25-year sentence on the computer studies graduate.|"Boyfriend"
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| |As Knox realized the enormity of what judge Hellman was saying she sank into her chair sobbing uncontrollably while her family and friends hugged each other in tears.|"Sobbing"
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| |A few feet away Meredith's mother Arline, her sister Stephanie and brother Lyle, who had flown in especially for the verdict remained expressionless, staring straight ahead, glancing over just once at the distraught Knox family.|"Distraught"
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| |Prosecutors were delighted with the verdict and said that 'justice has been done' although they said on a 'human factor it was sad two young people would be spending years in jail'|"Justice has been done"
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| }}
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| Sensational stuff. And complete bullshit. The Mail had written two alternative straight-to-plate stories ("innocent" and "guilty") [https://politicalscrapbook.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/mailfail/ but printed the wrong one.] Three minutes later, they tried to cover their tracks by publishing the other one instead. But too late! The word watched in disbelief as the paper self-pwnt with cast-iron proof that they just make up any old shit and say that it really happened.<br><br>
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| [[File:Daily mail amanda knox verdict fail.png|400px|center|thumb|I see what you did there]]
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| ==Mrs. Donald strikes back==
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| [[File:Judge judy wtf r u doing face.jpg|right|200px|thumb|"You printed ''what?"'']]
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| On 20 August 2016, <strike>Aluminum</strike> Meldonium Trump, wife of [[Drumpf|The Donald,]] was the unwilling star of a Daily Mail exclusive. The paper dredged up a load of muck-raking rumors about her past, including the claim that her modelling agency was a front for a [[Brothel|knocking-shop]] and that she had worked as a [[Whore|top-end escort.]]
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| Needless to say, this had a YUGE headline, and the fact that there was no evidence at all for any of these claims was tucked away at the end of the article, in journalism's time-honored 'bury the disclaimer' fashion.
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| Madame la Trumpe immediately [http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-election-trump-melania-idUSKCN11760T filed suit against the Mail for defamation,] to the tune of [[OMG|$150,000,000]]
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| The Daily Mail, realizing that it had finally picked on someone who (a) wasn't afraid of the Mail and (b) could afford the best [[Jews|lawyers]] known to the human race, panicked, shit itself, [[Delete fucking everything|retracted the story from its online version]] (but couldn't re-call the [[Dox|hard copies)]] and [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3769798/Melania-Trump-retraction.html printed a grovelling apology] with the [[Sob story|excuse]] that [[Dubious disclaimer|'we were only informing our readers about rumors that might be damaging even if they were not found to be true'.]]
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| But she's [[LOL|still going to sue them anyway]] and by retracting it they have [[Self-pwn|officially admitted it was lies.]]
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| The Mail's lawyer has advised them: "Prepare your anus." Said anus, already semen-crusted and full of AIDS, convinced the Mail to wise the fuck up and settle with the Stepford cunt and in April 2017, the Mail forked her over an undisclosed amount and then promptly STFU about her.
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| {{clear}}
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| ==Cancer fetish==
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| [[File:Daily mail "blairitania" insane comment piece (by simon heffer, 2001).jpg|250px|thumb|If only we had listened.....]]
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| The Daily Mail's [[12 year old boy|health experts]] are [[fetish|obsessed]] with [[cancer]]; for example, they helped [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-453843/Oral-sex-cause-throat-cancer.html expose] that [[blowjob|oral sex]] will give [[you]] [[fail|cancer]]. These [[an hero|heroic]] individuals have helped expose the [[truth]], hidden by [[The Guardian|politically correct]] [[leftard|liberals]], as to the full extent of shit that causes cancer, including: | |
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| * [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2611376/These-toys-arent-sharing-How-sex-aids-spread-cancer-causing-HPV-virus-partners.html Dildoes]
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| * [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1064547/Black-men-times-likely-prostate-cancer.html Being] a [[nigger|black]] man
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| ** Or [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-508753/Black-women-develop-breast-cancer-decades-earlier-white-women.html woman]
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| *[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-506501/Prostate-risk-having-family-according-new-study.html Curry]: is this why black people are more at risk? [[I'm so confused|Who knows?]]
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| * [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-191219/Did-sex-cancer.html Unprotected sex]
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| ** What's that? You think you're safe using contraception? [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-181273/Cancer-risk-45-higher-Pill.html Think again]
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| ** Only joking, [[you]]'ll never have [[truth|sex]].
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| * [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-68946/Do-women-need-periods.html Menstruation] (but the pill causes cancer, so you're fucked either way)
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| * [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1025915/Wearing-FLIP-FLOPS-skin-cancer-doctors-warn.html Flip flops]
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| * [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-363477/Left-handers-likely-breast-cancer.html Being left handed]
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| * [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-206243/Skiers-warned-cancer-risk.html Skiing]
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| [[File:Daily mail can the sun cure cancer.jpg|center|500px|thumb|Provided for balance]]
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| {{clear}}
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| ==Daily Jailbait==
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| Daily Mail love [[loli|young poon]]. LOVE IT. A regular article they feature is some teenage socialite in underwear/bikini where they pretend to be judgmental about loose morals. Somehow, they always have a dozen zoomed images of the aforementioned teenager's gash and asshole while she bends over.
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| A fun game to play is to search "all grown up" on the site's search engine. This brings up a list of girls who have just turned sixteen-years-old showing as much flesh as is legal.
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| <br>
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| <br>
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| {{frame|<gallery>
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| File:Dailymailkj.png|How the DM talks about 14 year old girls [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2169997/Kendall-Jenner-dons-string-bikini-retro-swim-cap-new-dance-video-friend.html SOURCE]]]
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| File:Daily mail jailbait 1.jpg
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| File:Daily mail jailbait 2.jpg
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| File:Daily mail jailbait 3.png
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| </gallery>|background=white|margin=auto}}
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| ==Gallery of news==
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| [[File:Daily mail letters page.jpg|thumb|right|200px|A [[typical]] Daily Mail letter, yesterday]]
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| [[File:Daily mail letter 10 june 2010.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Another Daily Mail letter, also yesterday.]]
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| [[File:Daily mail letter 27 dec 2016.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Etc]]
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| [[File:Dailly mail could your fridge kill you.jpg|thumb|right|thumb|200px|The answer might surprise you]]<br>
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| {{frame|<gallery perrow=4>
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| File:Daily mail next stop uk headline.jpg
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| File:Daily mail benefits jackpot headline.jpg
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| File:Daily mail comment enough is enough.jpg
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| File:Daily mail join the dustbin revolt.jpg
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| File:Daily mail flying asylum seeker.jpg
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| File:Daily mail what have we done.jpg
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| File:Daily mail how much worse.jpg
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| File:Daily mail jeremy corbyn as mao fantasy.jpg
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| File:Daily mail got what they deserved.jpg
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| File:Daily mail year of our lord.jpg
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| File:Daily mail nhs ice cream bill.jpg
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| File:Daily mail foreign rapists and murderers.jpg
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| File:Daily mail can scotland yard find maddie.jpg
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| File:Daily mail jeremy corbyn apocalypse fantasy.png
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| File:Daily mail migrants how many more.jpg
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| File:Daily mail foreign workers 3 in 4 jobs.jpg
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| File:Daily mail thatcher dead victory dance breast implants.jpg
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| File:Daily mail nhs doughnuts and pizzas.jpg
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| File:Daily mail old people auctioned off.jpg
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| File:Daily mail who can make a sandwich.jpg
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| File:Daily mail vacuum cleaner stampede.jpg
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| File:Daily mail loch ness monster surgeon photo scoop.jpg
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| File:Daily mail criminals break into cushy jails.jpg
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| File:Daily mail sign up for an nhs death.jpg
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| File:Daily mail asylum you are right to worry.jpg
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| File:Daily mail lolwut bizarre gay feud.png
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| File:Daily mail labour party leader's dad hated britain.jpg
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| File:Daily mail kindergarten sex lessons under labour.jpg
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| File:Daily mail end this human rights insanity.png
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| File:Daily mail social media harms kiddy brains.jpg
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| File:Daily mail sunbeds lethal as cigarettes.jpg
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| File:Daily mail another cannabis-crazed killer.jpg
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| File:Daily mail pope's battle to save christmas.jpg
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| File:Daily mail disgrace to your country.png
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| File:Daily mail tax on tea-ladies.jpg
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| File:Daily mail the great lightbulb revolt.jpg
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| </gallery>|background=white|margin=auto}}<br><br>
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| ==That whole "Hitler" thing==
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| [[File:Daily mail lord rothermere portrait.jpg|thumb|right|250px|The face of a reasonable man]]
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| [[File:Lord rothermere hitler telegram.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Fanmail]]
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| If you mention the Daily Mail to any card-carrying bleeding-heart libfag, they will automatically mention [[Hitler|Our Patron Saint,]] as surely as [[Samefag|a parrot will ask for a cracker.]] But none of them actually understand what went down between the paper and the Fuehrer. So here it is.
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| [[Rich and beautiful|Lord Rothermere]] became owner of the Mail in the 1920s [[Shit no one cares about|(and the Daily Mirror, the Evening News, the Sunday Pictorial and the Sunday Dispatch)]] and therefore one of the most powerful men in Britain. By 1926 the Mail shifted [[Over 9000|2,000,000]] copies every day and Rothermere was also the third richest man in Britain. He was also a rabid anti-communist. When big money and big media meet far-right politics there can only be [[Rupert Murdoch|one outcome.]]
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| {{quote|Shortly after the Nazis' sweeping victory in the election of September 14, 1930, Rothermere went to Munich to have a long talk with Hitler, and ten days after the election wrote an article discussing the significance of the National Socialists' triumph.<br>
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| The article drew attention throughout England and the Continent because it urged acceptance of the Nazis as a bulwark against [[Jeremy Corbyn|Communism...]] Rothermere continued to say that if it were not for the Nazis, the Communists might have gained the majority in the Reichstag.|''Who Financed Hitler: The Secret Funding of Hitler's Rise to Power'' by James Pool (1979)}}<br>
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| Rothermere was a big fan of [[Protocols of the Elders of Zion|The Protocols of Zion]] and editorialised that Hitler had saved Germany from [[Jews|"Israelites of international attachments"]] and that the [[Unrealistic expectations|"minor misdeeds of individual Nazis will be submerged by the immense benefits that the new regime is already bestowing upon Germany."]]
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| Hitler wrote torrid love-letters to Rothermere in return, stating this sort of thing: "I should like to express the appreciation of countless Germans, who regard me as their spokesman, for the wise and beneficial public support which you have given to a policy that we all hope will contribute to the enduring [[faggotry|pacification]] of Europe [...] I am convinced that no one who fought in the front trenches during [[WWI|the world war,]] no matter in what European country, desires another conflict."
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| Rothermere also enthusiastically endorsed the UK's home-grown fascist movement, which led to the notorious op-ed piece entitled '''Hurrah for the Blackshirts!''' (January 22, 1934), praising Britfag Hitler knock-off Sir Oswald Mosley for his [[Racism|"sound, commonsense, Conservative doctrine".]]
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| [[File:Daily mail front page hurrah for the blackshirts.jpg|right|thumb|250px|Read all about it]]
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| {{quote|Timid alarmists all this week have been whimpering that the rapid growth in numbers of the British Blackshirts is preparing the way for a system of rulership by means of steel whips and concentration camps.<br>
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| Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under Blackshirt government. The notion that a permanent reign of terror exists there has been evolved entirely from their own morbid imaginations, fed by sensational propaganda from opponents of the party now in power.<br>
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| As a purely British organization, the Blackshirts will respect those principles of tolerance which are traditional in British politics. They have no prejudice either of class or race. Their recruits are drawn from all social grades and every political party.<br>
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| Young men may join the British Union of Fascists by writing to the Headquarters, King's Road, Chelsea, London, S.W.}}
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| [[File:Daily mail outrage at german jews pouring into uk 1938.jpg|right|300px|thumb|[[Rapefugees|Rapefujews]]]]
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| Rothermere suddenly shut his piehole about Mosley in July 1934 when the [[Jews|International Zionist Conspiracy]] stepped on his windpipe [[Typical|by threatening to withdraw all ads from his papers:]] Rothermere told Hitler how the "Jews cut off his complete revenue from advertising" and that it was "quite impossible at short notice to take any effective countermeasures."
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| But like any loyal fantard, Rothermere simply learned to keep his love secret. He employed a [[Attention whore|pro-fascist European princess]] as a go-between with the Nazis, to the tune of [[Over 9000|£300,000]] a year (about £13 million in 2016 prices). He also got one of the Mail's reporters to publish [[Propaganda|a pro-Hitler book]] called ''I Know These Dictators'' (1937) which remarked "Behind the forceful character which he displays in public he had a human, pleasant personality" and played up his love of children and animals and downplayed his, er, firm views about a certain race with big noses and deep pockets.
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| [[File:Lord rothermere meets hitler december 1934.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Rothermere and Hitler, sitting in a tree]]
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| [[File:Daily mail outbreak of wwii 3 sep 1939.jpg|thumb|right|250px||About... TURN!]]
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| {{quote|Rothermere pays me great compliments... Enquires in detail about German press policy. Strongly anti-Jewish. The princess is very pushy. After lunch we retire for a chat. Question of Spain comes up. Führer won't tolerate a hot-bed of communism in Europe any longer. Is ready to prevent any more pro-Republican volunteers from going there. His proposal on controls seem to astonish Rothermere. German prestige is thus restored. Franco will win anyway... Rothermere believes British government also pro-Franco.|Joseph Goebbels's diary, January 7, 1937}}
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| The morning after [[WWII]] broke out the front page of Rothermere's Daily Mail boomed: [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|"No statesman, no man with any decency could think of sitting at the same table with Hitler or his henchman the trickster von Ribbentrop, or any other of the gang.]] We fight against the [[DOUBLE_NIGGER|blackest tyranny]] that has ever held men in bondage. We fight [[For the lulz|to defend and to restore freedom and justice on earth."]]
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| Behind the scenes, he was trying to convince the government that it was [[Truth|a bad idea]] to try to save [[You Forgot Poland|Poland]], saying: "whether victorious or not, Britain will emerge from such a conflict with [[ass rape|her social and economic fabric destroyed"]] and that this would mean [[Jeremy Corbyn|"a revolution of the Left in these islands, which might be more deadly than the war itself".]]
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| But when immoral people get greedy, trouble is inevitable. At some point, Rothermere decided to stop paying his pro-fascist go-between, and [[Internet lawsuit|she sued him for breach of contract.]] It then emerged that [[Blackmail|she had wisely kept photographs of all the love-letters between Rothermere and Hitler,]] and these were entered into evidence. Rothermere shit himself and paid her off to [[GTFO|leave the country.]] But he couldn't get the [[Dox|letters]] back and they were passed to [[CIA|MI5.]] When Rothermere found out that the spooks were [[I see what you did there|wise to his capers,]] he realised that he was about to be [[v&|arrested for treason.]] He immediately "emigrated" to Bermuda, where he died in November 1940. The Daily Mail decided that [[Delete fucking everything|its history was best erased and never mentioned again,]] and the paper remains under the control of Rothermere's family to the present day.
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| ==Words or phrases overused by the Daily Mail==
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| *[[Unfunny|Hilarious]]
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| *[[lulz|Shocking]]
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| *[[Stop posting|The moment when]]
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| ==Examples==
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| [[File:Typical daily mail reader.jpg|thumb|right|170px|Typical Mail reader, tomorrow]]
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| *[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3263289/Hilarious-moment-baby-projectile-vomits-family-photograph.html Hilarious]
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| *[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/video-1239164/Shocking-moment-bamboos-spill-truck-pierce-car.html Shocking]
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| *[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3368553/The-moment-little-girl-fell-Sound-Music-Live.html The moment caught on video] *SHOCK WARNING*
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| == Related Articles ==
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| * [[The Guardian|Guardian (The)]]
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| * [[Katie Hopkins|Hopkins, Katie]]
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| * [[Richard Littlejohn|Littlejohn, Richard]]
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| * [[Placeholder]]
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| * [[Propaganda]]
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| * [[The Sun|Sun (The)]]
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| * [[Tory]]
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| * [[WP:DAILYMAIL]] - the truth of the sordid escapades that led to Wikipedia blacklisting the Daily Mail
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| == External Links ==
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| * [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/ Dailymail.co.uk]
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| * [https://medium.com/@bestofthemail/i-was-upvoted-for-posting-nazi-propaganda-about-migrants-in-the-daily-mail-8996899810b4#.4tjys6do4 Submit Nazi propaganda to Daily Mail's BTL comments, get upvoted]
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| * [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4804050/Jihadi-propaganda-available-view-Wikipedia.html The Mail is on the case of the online encyclopedia of evil]
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| * [https://twitter.com/_MarwanMuhammad/status/1025786653040889856 Devastating takedown of Mail shit-stirring that resulted in the reporter being suspended] (Achived: {{archive|pi4Sb|1}} {{wayback|https://twitter.com/_MarwanMuhammad/status/1025786653040889856|title=2}})
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| <br>
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| [[File:Daily mail helpful icloud explanation.jpg|center|300px]]
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| <br />
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| {{Sites}}
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| {{Britfags}}[[Category:Communicae]][[Category:Fake News]]
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