Nickolaus Pacione

Warning! Nickolaus will destroy your computers and will be calling Encyclopedia Dramatica quite a few unpleasant names in his new book How to Win Friends and Dazzle Enemies as a Post-Op Transexual !

Photograph recently "unearthed" by Jameth

Everyone loves Nicky.

I has a sugardaddy.

What to expect from Nickolaus: He can't even spell his own name right.

Nicky lieks Mudkips!

Tabloid Purposes 5!

Ethereal GAYzette Cuming Soon!.

Nicky, doing what he loves.

“	She's going to learn an expensive lesson not to practice defamation of character even the asshole who now owns Encyclopedia Dramatica been fucking his dead relatives in the process. I guess he thinks it's perfically fine to spread lies about someone in a public website, encouraging people to load up pictures of children too -- I am thinking people like him jump online contributing to people wanting to kill themselves. I guess the dead relative fuckers get off on that sort of thing.	„
—Nicky

“	There will be an anthology that will be coming soon and submissions will be opened up to only people who've been bullied by Encyclopedia Dramatica. I am not talking the far left or those who are actually dicksuckers, but I am looking for the regular people who've been harassed by such sites without end. I am looking to get this anthology in the hands of Illinois legislature so they can see what kind of shit these people are doing and see if there could get a law passed for cyber-harassment and impersonation, impostor journals are bullshit. There should be a law against it.	„
—Nickolaus

“	I can tell that Encyclopeda Dramatica had something to do with that one and it's proof they are the main source of lying about my career.	„
—Dickoless

Nicky won't go to lulzcon because he'd hit you if he did!

“	And for those fuckers who are doing that convention in Chicago -- fuck off I am not interested. It will be because I would end up punching someone. That whole site involved is devoted to the libel of my name so no, I am not fucking interested. I wish the bitch who made that site will burn in hell, or fined for slander a large amount of money.I guess when they do an convention, they bring all the assholes together.	„
—Dickoless

“	It seems like the more with people like Encyclopedia Dramatica is doing to do libelous postings of me on that site, every chance they get they're going to libel me. I just addressed what they did in the book and waiting for them to choke on their words.	„
—Dickoless

“	I will say the Encyclepedia Dramatica crowd needs to have their computers blown up in front of them or have someone beat their screens with a baseball bat. It's that fucked up, just because someone like me is seeing some success with short stories that are true in magazines so they decide to stir up old shit...	„
—Dickoless on blowing up your computer

Nickolaus Pacione (also known as "Teh Goth and "Nickyboy") is a mentally ill man from Illinois who fancies himself as a horror writer. His many and varied mental illnesses don't stand in his way and neither does his complete and total inability to grasp punctuation, spelling, verbs, nouns, plotting, or grammar. Indeed, it is speculated that perhaps grammar molested him as a child, such is his anger at it.

UPDATE JULY '07 - Nicky was BANNED from xanga for numerous threats thereby violating xanga's Terms of Service.

“	Those books are not free downloads. I will have your blog pulled.and will see to it someone kills you and burns your house down.	„
—Posted 6/24/2007 7:37 PM by nickolauspacione

Later Nick contacted the same person via private message to negotiate a truce:

“	I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU -- do you hear me. Better yet -- I will let the owners of spinetinglers know that you pirated books. Those books are not available as e-books. You pirated them. Now you will die.	„
—I WILL KILL YOU!

Internet Tough Guy

A classic example of an Internet tough guy, Nickolaus is known to send death threats to people who dislike him or who make eye-contact with him on his daily bus ride to hot topic. He routinely creates accounts in gothy forums, makes a whole lot of attention-seeking comments about his "writing" (to use the term very loosely indeed), flames any criticism of his work, regardless of how minor it is. In true lol-cow fashion, he also has a particular fondness for threatening critics with both physical violence and lawsuits (though not always in that order.) Be sure to search for his profiles on DeadJournal, Diary-X, Xanga, and virtually everywhere else attention whores breed.

LJDrama

Nickolaus was featured frequently from 2003 to 2005 on LJDrama, where he was best known for referring to his online antagonists as "mutants", "liberals" "fatherfuckers" and "chickenfucks," among other ostensibly creative epithets. He still can't get over LJDrama, even today [1] [2].

Nickyboy also has a hard- " on for Scarlet, and has actually been conned into paying someone to " hack LJ Drama and Scarlet's journal.

Nicky v. Poppy Z. Brite

He believes he is engaged in an ongoing feud with popular erotic horror novelist Poppy Z. Brite, whose use of homosexuality and sodomy in her stories is the apparent cause for Nicky's hatred (as he considers himself a conservative), although while reading thru one of Nick's older sites, it was discovered that only a few years ago he considered himself a liberal who won't let Bible College kids change him.

Nicky was caught red-handed making fun of Katrina survivors and Poppy Z. Brite who lives in New Orleans. Nick had said in private that if his jokes about her were to get out it would be a PR nightmare, so of course they were released to the public. In order to repair his damaged reputation and to make himself look less like a monster, Nicky announced he would give all the proceeds of the book to charity. But the book was terrible and didn't sell enough copies to buy a bucket which was fine with Nick as he later admitted the purpose of the book was to get his name out.

Nicky's Views on Plagiarism

	“	I got another asshole submitting stories that were blatantly stolen from my work, this time the jackhole stole The Ferrymen's Wheelchair which originally showed up on FictionPress.com then appeared on House of Pain E-zine. A story that was previously published in the first Tabloid Purposes. You all want to say hello to the hackhole I could post his e-mail address and IP number. I guess Louise Bohmer condones the fact these assholes are willing to plagiarize my work just to try to get into the magazine. This is the mother fuckers' e-mail, and the plagiarizing jackhole's IP is 127.0.0.1. Hey Sage of All Fields, get a life fucking motherfucker. The mother fucker's IP is the same as the asshole who brags about trying to sneak into my magazine under an assumed name and hides behind the pen name of George Thompson. I don't fucking appreciate the fact you bastards are slashing up my characters. That is the ultimate form of disrespect.	„

Nicky the Author

He writes really terrible "horror" stories (which are so truly awful that nobody will publish them and he's obliged to self-publish.)

An excerpt from from his short story, "Lake Fossil":

There was always something strange about Illinois that had its history; but one thing that told of this was an account that I would share here. The thoughts of this would be something that could not be believed. I am getting a little ahead of myself here but I will start from the beginning, and this started back in 1989. My name is Richard Borland, the journal that I have kept about the events that I wrote of happened back in that time frame, and during the time when I wrote of this would be in 1994 about the time when I was going to graduate from Glendbard North. Though the question baffled me for a while, of there being a prehistoric creature living in the river within the city of Chicago. Baffled me since my trip to Scotland back in 1993; if there being a creature such as the Loch Ness monster (or a related creature) living in Illinois.

One of Nicky's most infamous fuck-ups occurred when he blatantly stole a cover from National Geographic to use as a cover to one of his own vanity press shit publications. This was shocking to many since Nick is a die-hard advocate against using other people's artwork without permission and has threatened on numerous occasions to invoke E-lawyers to punish those who do. When it was pointed out to Nicky that he violated one of his own rules, he quickly assumed the role of Captain Butthurt and blamed his law breaking on those who simply pointed out to him that he committed said crime.

Nick's constant talk of hospital visits and personal sickness has lead many to believe that he contracted AIDs while visiting the grave of Edgar Allan Poe.

As of 04/21/08, Princess Nicky has been declared a "public figure" by LJ Abuse, as his constant butthurt whining and poorly edited "books" have made him e-famous. This means that Nicky-poo's favorite tactic for dealing with criticism on LJ, hurrying off to LJ Abuse like a little girl running to tell her mom, is no longer going to work for hire.

Nicky Videos

Nicky has been spreading his own brand of video lulz on Jewtube and google video as of late usually either promoting his books or dealing with his own personal demons. Hilariously, his first two months of video contain no sound because he hadn't even figured out how to work the audio on his camcorder.

Nicky On DeviantArt

His DA Page is a new and exciting place to see him go postal on just about anyone for no reason whatsoever. Here he calls out other self-important authors and accuses them of being sodomites and infringers of copyright. If they respond they're generally mocked and their post hidden, so Nicky can look like an ultra badass all the while playing the victim. He strives for Anonymous-like cruelty, but fails except for inside his own mind.

Update! Recently good ol' Nicky has taken to flipping out on another Devfag, Simply-tragic (an emofag name if one has ever been heard). When his target was hacked, the following note was found, completely owning Nicky's terrible writing by actually re-writing one of Nicky's stories!

"What is this place? Where have I been transported to?" the violet-skinned figure mumbled as he examined his surroundings. Despite his clouded state of mind, he knew that he was not on the planet from which he had been exiled, for the world before him seemed alien. No matter how odd it was, he knew that his current attire would be considered somewhat suspicious to those around him. The only item of significance that he had was a mysterious, diamond-shaped object of which he could not recall the origin.

A local teenager strolled up to him and gazed with confusion, as he had no idea where the purple man had come from. He looked around the area to see where the man had landed, but found nothing. His eyes gradually found their way back to the creature and a look of understanding graced his face. "Holy Christ -- it's one of those aliens that people talk about!" he exclaimed, nearly losing his balance on his skateboard.

You know what, no. This is enough. Your writing is damn near impossible to wade through, and I have other shit to do. If you really think I'm just pussing out I'll do the whole damn thing, but under no circumstances do I want to. I'm going to work on my novel and be done with you. I've proved my point.

Once again, yeah, I wrote a lot of shitty fanfiction. That's not what I do now. I don't have time to post a lot of shit on DeviantArt. So have fun with your delusions, and have a nice day.

This does not cause his writing to make any sense, nor does it make ST any less of a faggot, but at bare minimum it is an interesting conversation piece.

Gallery

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Audio

WARNING: If you see Nickolaus giving you this look any look, it means he wants to suck your dick. Every piece of audio Nick has ever done (mostly recorded from rabidly furious and barely articulate voicemails he left for some of his "fans") is available!

• Nicky threatens his ex boyfriend
• Nicky confronts SamYoung
• Don't pretend to be his ex girlfriend or else!
• dan gets a piece of Nick's mind
• The Truth About Nick? He's mad!
• Nickolaus reads erotica
• He wants anus penetration
• He wants his salty sperm
• " Nicky admits to e-pirating
• " Poe featuring Nick (Can't Talk To a Psycho Like A Normal Human Being
• Stamper featuring Nickolaus in the gayest rap to date
• A soundboard featuring everyone's favorite five foot sissy

External Links

• Nicky's blog
• TheRustyNail is in Nicky's base, tracking his fail.
• Nicky's past comes back to bite him in the ass.
• A spot-on review of Nickolaus' work.
• LJDrama articles on Nickolaus.
• Amazon.
• defending himself from the fanfic lesbians.
• Z. Brite Site
• his special love of Bukkake.
• Mr. Aaron C. Bennett documents his dealings with Mr. Nickolaus A. Pacione.
• See and hear Nicky live here!
• See his art!
• Kick his ass!
• Kick his ass more often!
• just bust a cap in his hairy homo ass instead!)
• Reporters fear Nicky?

See Also

Don Henrie

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