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| [[Image:Naruto believe.jpg|center|500px|TIME PARADOX!!!1!!1!11!!1|thumb|http://www.fanfiction.net/anime/ 12/29/10 (259,752)
| | <div style="text-align:center; font-weight:bold;">Thanks for your [[Shit nobody cares about|concern]].</div> |
| "Yeah I cant belieave it either"]]
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| {{spoilers|text=[[Pokemon|KABUTO]] REZZED ALL THE AKUTSUKIS BACK TO LIFE AND TOBI NOW HAS A CLONE ARMY OF THAT FLY-TRAP GUY!!11! WHEN DID THIS BECOME [[Star Trek|STAR TREK?]]}}
| | <h2 style="text-align:center;">Were you ''offended'' by what you just saw? Please scroll '''SLOWLY''' to the bottom of this page and we will be happy to rectify your situation.</h2> |
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| [[Image:Naruto pussydeflector.jpg|thumb|''No comment needed.'']]
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| [[Image:F7cea7f7fd732ea5e3e14c19b154dccb1227449607_full.jpg|thumb|The picture that caused 500,000 fangirls to climax simultaneously.]] | | <font size=7><center>[[Kittens|GET ME OUT OF HERE!]]</center></font> |
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| '''''Naruto''''' (also referred to as "''[[Gay|Brokeback Mountain]]''", with more [[Ninja|ninja]]) is an animu about [[Shemale|tranny]] [[Ninja|ninjas]]. It tells the tale of a [[Nazi|blonde-haired, blue-eyed]], half-[[Emo|emo]], [[Weeaboo| foreigner]] [[Furry|half-demon]] [[AZN|ninja teen]] struggling to be accepted into society. As a [[Ninja|ninja]], however, Naruto is not the kind that flips out and kills people. Instead, he is the kind that spews [[Gay|gay]] speeches and dreams about [[Rape|raping]] his [[Homo|homo]]-target, [[Emo|Sasuke]]. With a plot that lame, experts agree that this series is way too [[Retarded|retarded]] to have lasted over 300 episodes on its own, lending weight to the theory that the [[Japan|Japanese]] use [[Animu|animu]] as a form of mind control over [[Wapanese|Wapanese]] [[Basement-dwellers|basement-dwellers]] and [[16_year_old_girls|16 year old girls]]. Good thing more than 3/4 of the anime is simply filler that was just pulled out of some mindless producer's ass. Regardless, scientists have recently discovered that not just Naruto, but all the ninjas in this show [[AIDS|crave cock]], making Naruto one of the queerest anime in existence, second only to [[Tsubasa_Chronicle|Tsubasa: RESERVoir CHRONiCLE]].
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| Legend has it that there may actually be [[Female|female]] characters in this series. However, closer investigation has proven that most female characters either tend to be useless or dead. One example is Tenten, a character so useless that the anime was thankful enough to show her fighting, just so they can create filler space (Which they already do with Hinata). Researchers have concluded that any further attempts to inseminate the existence of girls in this series will be met with [[Surprise_buttsecks|swift and immediate reprisal]] by its creators. It should also be noted that this [[Anime|anime]] has no actual [[Kancho|Japanese martial arts]], and that this show is also, no matter how many fansubs insert the words "Fuck" or "Damn," A KID'S SHOW.
| | GET OVER IT!!! ED is composed of 1000% lies, with the exception of [[You|this page]]. |
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| According to press reports, ''Naruto'' is "a cartoon about Arab on television."[http://www.komoradio.com/news/16479676.html]
| | {| style="background-color:#fff; border:2px solid #000; padding:1px; text-align:center; margin:.1em auto .1em auto;" |
| | | [[File:Offended.gif]] |
| | | style="padding:2px;" | <big><b>Offended?</b></big><br/>If [[you]] have been offended by {{PAGENAME}},<br/>please [http://offended.wikipaste.eu click here]. |
| | |} |
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| | {{Timeline|Article of the Nao April 14, [[2011]]|[[Pool's Closed]]<br />for [[OhInternet|beached]] [[whale]] [[Exploding Whale|removal]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[So i herd u liek mudkip]]}} |
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| ==Plot==
| | [[TL;DR|Thank you, have a good day.]] |
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| ====Part 1====
| | [[Category:Memes]] |
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| [[Image:Eagle8-1.jpg|thumb|right|How Sasuke [[an hero|will die]].]]
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| There are too many characters in ''Naruto'' to list because its creator has fucking [[ADHD]], so just know that pretty much everyone either has a [[Angst|Dark Past ©]], is an [[dying alone|orphan]], and has a power level of [[over 9,000]], or has a somewhat normal life, and therefore no screen time. The creator seems to have made a conscious decision to include every fucking [[Animu Archetypes|animu archetype]] known to man, proving what a retarded moron he is.
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| The creator made over [[Over 9000|600 episodes]], 600 of which are [[Shit|filler]]. Basically, Naruto is an [[otherkin]] that has a demon fox inside him that can [[Rape|rape]] anything it wants. So in order for Naruto to not just [[Pwn|fuck everyone over]] with this power, the creator [[Bullshit|bullshitted]] everyone and said that Naruto can't use this power without [[An hero|killing himself]]. Naruto has three fuck buddies in this show, [[fugly|Sakura]] (who does nothing) and [[Stalker|Hinata]] (who also does nothing) allowing for plenty of [[AIDS|different pairings for fanfics!]]
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| Then there's Sasuke. The biggest [[Emo|emo]] you will ever see in a show. Despite the show being called '''''NARUTO''''', it's really about Sasuke because all the [[Bitch|fangirls]] [[Cum|cream over him]] and his brother Itachi...causing a lot of [[Incest|incest fics.]] At about episode [[Shit_nobody_cares_about|whothefuckcares]], Sasuke [[BAWWW|complains]] about his brother Itachi killing his clan and goes from [[Hot Topic|emo to goth]] and joins local [[Micheal Jackson|pedo-bear Orochimaru]] who's actually a [[Penis|snake!]] Sasuke is Naruto's [[Whore|3rd fuck buddy]] resulting in about [[Only 2 percent|90%]] of all fanfictions. These relationships are the main focus of the entire show, [[Lucky Star|causing nothing to ever happen]].
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| [[Image:NarutoLulz1.png|thumb|left|The page before naruto has sum [[Buttsecks]] with hinata.]]
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| ====Part 2: Shitpuden====
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| {{spoilers|text=ITACHI WAS A GOOD GUY! NARUTO&SASKUGAY ARE GONNA KILL EACH OTHER! TOBI IS REALLY AN [[Faggot|UCHIHA!]]}}
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| After the first 600 episodes, there's another 600 punches in the face called ''Shitpuden''. This is when they finally bring out the [[Metal Gear Solid|badass villain ninjas.]]
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| Since Sasuke left the country to go kill his brother with the [[Tim Buckley|creepy pedophile]] Naruto thinks he's just [[Bi|CONFUSED!]] So to get him back, Naruto goes and [[Masturbate|trains]] for three years. Even after three years of not coming back, Naruto still thinks Sasuke is [[ALL CAPS|JUST CONFUSED]] and goes to try to find him. This is [[Boring|when the show picks up]]. [[Image:WHYDOYOUCARESOMUCH.png|thumb|left|I swear its not because I'm gay.]]
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| Then they bring out the [[Hitler|badass ninja group]] that is called [[Nazi|Akutsuki.]] They go around taking in all the [[Final Solution|furries and otherkins]] and [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|KILL THOSE FUCKERS]] so there's [[Iraq|constant war]] or some shit. [[I did it for the lulz|It's never addressed.]] But even with the Akutsuki ninjas [[ALL CAPS|RIPPING OUT HEARTS]] and using them as their own, blowing up shit, [[Jesus|not dying]], maiming, and revealing plot twists they are all pretty much killed by Naruto and Sasuke. Including Orochimaru and Itachi.
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| In one bought of massive [[Lulz|lulz]], Sasuke kills Itachi only to find out that [[HA! HA! Guy|Itachi was a good guy!]] This nearly makes Sasuke [[An hero|kill himself,]] but the show [[ALL CAPS|CAN'T DO WITHOUT THE MAIN CHARACTER!!!1!]] So he just goes out and kills everyone else instead by joining Tobi. [[GG]], [[Loser|Sasuke]].
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| Akutsuki's leader Pain (or Pein if you're a fag) makes up for this failure easily by killing everyone [[Your mom|you've ever loved,]] making him [[Hitler]] incarnate, but then the [[Butthurt|butthurt]] [[Fantard|fanboys]] made him [[Epic fail|revive them all again by killing himself]]. Tobi (or Madara Uchiha if you want to be a complete [[Wapanese|weeboo]]) then decides it's his turn to make up for the faggotry of Naruto and Sasuke so Tobi tells everyone he's THE FIRST Uchiha, made the FIRST capital of the world, that he trained Itachi to commit some much [[Armenia|needed genocide]] and Naruto's government [[Nazi|ordered the genocide]], AND made Akatsuki purely for the lulz. After all this [[Chris-chan|master trolling,]] Tobi decides that the Akatsuki totally sucked anyway and takes all the captured furries to make one [[Pokemon|uber-Pokemon]], that will somehow blow up the moon causing [[O RLY|a typhoon that will destroy the world]] or some stupid shit like that. Danzo, the George W. Bush of the story, becomes president and immediately declares Sasuke a rogue ninja meaning that the "good" characters of the show would HAVE TO KILL SASUKE! [[Troll|OH NO, SUP3R EV1L UN-KAWAII DESU~!]] Though, knowing the series, nothing will come out of this besides [[Moar|moar]] [[Emo|angst.]] One can only wonder [[WTF|what the fuck]] Masashi Kishimoto is smoking while writing this crap.
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| ==[[Narutard|The Fans]]==
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| [[Image:Narutocosplay.jpg|thumb|small|A typical [[fangirl]] of ''Naruto''.]]
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| Despite the show being the obvious [[The Sandwich Chef|Fail Sandwich]] it is, this show has one of the largest amount of fans out of any animu, and [[Death Note|that's]] [[One Piece|saying]] [[Bleach|something.]] Even to the Jew [[hentai|animu]] watchers the ''Naruto'' fans are retarded, placing them slightly above [[Furry|furries]]. So they were given the [[Clique|label]] '''Narutard!'''
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| All Narutards are [[basement-dweller]]s and [[weeaboo]]s, [[Rules of the Internet|THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS TO THIS!]] Even if they are beautiful, it's just a ploy to convert you to ''[[Scientology|Naruto]]'' and they're probably just wearing the skin of someone far more [[Everyone|superior than themselves]]. The Narutards are also exceptional at [[The Cancer That Is Killing /b/|ruining anything they touch]] since most of them are furfags anyways. Adhering to the natural and never failing rules of [[Furry|furrism]], every single FUCKING person has some sort of strange and abstract fetish that they love to shove into every orifice of the internet. They usually do this by drawing some sort of [[Hentai|uninteresting bishie-desu style shit.]] If the Narutard realizes "it" draws like a [[Chris-chan|deformed pile of flesh with Asperger's]], or never could draw, "it" then attempts to write fanfiction. EVEN IF THAT FAILS, it then moves onto making videos to their favorite Disturbed or Linkin Park song using Windows Movie Editor. Though this only truly scratches the surface of such stupidity.
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| '''[[Narutard|Click here for a more detailed analysis of the Narutard.]]'''
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| [[Image:A Naruto fan's description of the story of Naruto.jpg|thumb|Typical Narutard fanart request]]
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| ====Fanfiction====
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| [[Image:.jpg|left|thumb|-DONT WORRY GAIZ ITS A LIE!]]
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| This was ruined to begin with but the [[Narutard|Narutards]] had to shit in the pool of piss by clogging [[FanFiction.Net]] with '''200,000''' stories of ninjas not being ninjas. To [[Noone|noone's]] surprise, all 200,000 of them are insipid pieces of dread similar to [[Twilight|Twilight.]] [[Some argue|Top Scientists]] also have discovered that there are [[Over 9000|387,506]] different ''Naruto'' pairings, all of them shit. Here are some of them:
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| *[[Homosexual|Naruto x Sasuke]]: The most common of the fanfictions due to the show's [[Nothing|oh-so-subliminal messaging]] of [[faggotry]]. For every [[Sick fuck|sick fetish]] you can imagine, an artist drew it.
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| *Naruto x Sakura: GUYS HAVING A FEMALE FRIEND AUTOMATICALLY MAKES THEM FUCKBUDDIES. [[lie|RIGHT?]].
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| *Sasuke x Sakura: What's better for an [[Emo|emo]] guy then a [[Bitch|whining]] [[Stalker|stalker]]? The answer would be a razor blade, but at least this has [[Boobs|tits]].
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| *[[Orgy|Sasuke x Naruto x Sakura:]] Was choosing one of the earlier three too hard for your tiny brain? Then don't worry, just make Naruto [[Bi|bi]], Sasuke gay (as always), and Sakura [[Straight|straight]].
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| *[[Lulz|Naruto x Karin:]] JUST FUCKING BECAUSE. Besides, glasses are hot.
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| *Naruto x Hinata: ANOTHER Naruto [[Sechs|pair up]] but replace the [[Cunt|whiny bitch]] with a [[God|meek stalker]] that would [[Hentai|fuck your brains out]] just like in all that hentai you watch.
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| *[[Fail|Akutsuki pairings:]] What happens when you take some <s>truly badass ninjas and turn them gay?</s> <s>HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, THEY WERE ALWAYS GAY.</s>HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS, but regardless they are still [[4chan|Absolute fail.]]
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| *[[Jailbait|Hinata x everyone]]: Even with the show's [[over 9000|ridiculous shitload of characters]], every single one of them has been paired with Hinata at some point in time. This is because Hinata having breasts automatically means she's [[Asking for it]], and that paired with the fact that she even exists makes her a [[cocktease]]. These pairings usually start out as [[Rape|non-con]], but eventually turn into [[prostatot|fetish sex]] because again, she is [[Asking for it]].
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| =====Theory=====
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| A leading theory suggests that at least every [[Linkin Park]] song that has ever existed will have a ''Naruto'' AMV video with it. And don't forget [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fq3QmtV8vT0 Disturbed!] Even though Disturbed is used much more extensively by the ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' crowd. It also theorizied that the "Ultimate Naruto Fanflashes" are among the most [[Pain Series|heinous]] [[Offended|things]] [[Goatse|on]] [[Snapesnogger|the]] [[4chan|internet.]] To imagine this eye-gougingly stupid series of flashes, one must first imagine [[Family Guy]] mixed with the faggotry of Naruto and then castrated of all remaining manhood and humor. Once you realize that these are the only [[bukkake|pools]] of [[lol|talent]] these [[wigger]] [[weeaboo]] [[faggots]] choose from, [[an hero|an heroing]] [[milf|starts to look pretty attractive.]]
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| == I ACCIDENTALLY SCREWED THE VIDEOS UP SORRY ABOUT THAT - LEO ==
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| <center>{{fv|Narutofansfv01|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
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| |<center>'''Do you like waffles?'''</center>
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| <youtube>T0cHBj9_nv8</youtube>
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| |<center>'''Of course, there's some that are glaringly bad, even for ''Naruto'' AMVs'''</center>
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| <youtube>GBGb0w55Fvg</youtube>
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| |<center>'''''Naruto'' Opening'''</center>
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| <youtube>ROnLZAntc1Q</youtube>
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| |<center>'''The crazed fans, retarded and dedicated at the same time.'''</center>
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| <youtube>5XT1CpGEGDk</youtube>
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| |<center>'''The first episode of the popular anime, ''Naruto''.'''</center>
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| <youtube>fAHdqR6IqZ0</youtube>
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| |<center>'''"I love ''Naruto'', that show’s friggin awesome." - Narutard'''</center>
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| <youtube>r6LkCVIIPM0</youtube>
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| |<center>'''"I hate ''Naruto''" - Any decent person'''</center>
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| <youtube>6SzTRV3D4BY</youtube>
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| |<center>'''[[No u]]'''</center>
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| <youtube>qQMOKJW79IE</youtube>
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| |<center>'''[[Fail|VICTORY IS MINE!]]'''</center>
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| <youtube>-8OWzP65mQ4</youtube>
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| |<center>'''[[Cool story bro]]'''</center>
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| <youtube>fw-_agEJxXc</youtube>
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| |<center>'''Swedish asspies trying to get actors for ther naruto "movie"'''</center>
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| <youtube>QK1qR87s5Ck</youtube>
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| }}</center>
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| ==Winning Quotes==
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| [[Image:Lolmoarphailure.PNG|thumb|That's <s>one</s> the only way to summarize this show.]]
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| Naruto is in a constant flux between being [[emo]] and '''Extreme''' [[faggotry]]. However, once in awhile, they come together and create the [[bukkake|perfect storm]].
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| {{tinyquote|[[emo|My only goal is in the darkness. I have long since closed my eyes...]]|[http://www.onemanga.com/Naruto/464/09/ Sasuke]}}
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| ==Rating==
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| *''Action:'' 1/10. When there are ninja battles, they're [[shit]] and could be anywhere between 50 to 150 episodes.
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| *''Lulz:'' 1/10. Very little lulz. The only lulz that can be gained from the show are from trolling the [[Basement-dwellers|fans]].
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| *''Faggotry:'' 100/10. Everyone is gay in this show, except for the girls which gets rid of the [[Lesbians|GOOD kind of gay]]. Even though the show never flat out says gay, anyone with an IQ over 50 can tell pretty damn clearly, proving that the [[Japanese]] are MASTERS of subtlety.
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| *''Furry Fandom:'' 9/10. The show is about otherkins with [[FYIAD|SUpER PoW3RS!1!,]] but thankfully, the l33t Akutsuki kills them off or at least tries.
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| *''Straightness:'' -1/10. Absolutely no focus on the girls, only the faggots.
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| ==Gallery==
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| {{cg|Gallery|fail|center|<gallery>
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| Image:SakuravsSasuke.jpg|Chapter 482 in [[Slut|Sakura's]] head. Also a main [[women|characteristic]] for Sakura.
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| Image:Itachi_steals_Klondikes.PNG|BECAUSE HE FUCKING CAN.
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| Image:Just_437_mangas 3.jpg|2/25/09, NEVAR FORGET
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| Image:NarutoLulz2.png|What happens when you troll a [[weeaboo]].
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| </gallery>|<gallery>
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| Image:Kanyevsasuke.jpg
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| Image:Transpa_entry.png|In during [[Dynamic Entry|Internet Image Macro Copypasta]]
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| Image:sasubitches.jpg|Typical Rival scene between Sauce kay.
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| Image:DND.jpg|Double Niggers [http://i256.photobucket.com/albums/hh175/wackyzacky777/DND.jpg]
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| Image:NARUTOLOLIJUTSU.jpg|90% of fangirls cosplay like this, most notably [http://supernovadobe.deviantart.com/ supernovadobe].
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| Image:Vlcsnap-90120.jpg|Typical Naruto Anal Scene
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| Image:Yaoi itasasu.jpg|Sasuke and Itachi: a lovely brothers relationship.
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| Image:Epic_Boob_Jutsu.gif|Sadly the most epic ninja technique is the only one not used in the show
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| Image:narutobestiality.jpg|A scene from the animu where [[poeticirony|Kakashi]] makes his [[Bestiality|dog-slaves]] rape his enemy.
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| Image:Narutoisafag.png|Proof Naruto & Gaara are fags
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| Image:narutotentacleraep.jpg|Huge fucking tentacles.
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| Image:Narupedo.jpg|[[Shotacon]], [[necrophilia]], and ninjas, together at last.
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| Image:The_Real_Sasuke.jpg|Honestly, THE REAL UCHIHA SASUKE [[IRL]]
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| Image:SASUKE_FANBOI.jpg|Sasuke Fanboy doing it wrong...
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| Image:Deicooldood.JPG|Deidara adresses /b/
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| Image:Naruto_No_miracles_.jpg|God disapproves of ''Naruto''.
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| Image:Garaandrocklee.png| FUCKING BUTT BABIES.
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| Image:Oiroke_no_Jutsu_-_Boy_on_Boy_by_Dynamic_Dragon.jpg|Not fan-art.
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| Image:Kisame.jpg|This is what [[IT'S_OVER_NINE_THOUSAND!|99999%]] of the fandom looks and dresses like.
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| Image:Naruto guro.jpg|Here's your [[guro]].
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| Image:Naruto-hentai1.jpg|BEHOLD MY NINJA POWERS!!1
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| Image:Naruto-hentai2.jpg|Sadly [[4kids]] edits scenes like this out and replaces them with [[yaoi]] [[crap]].
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| Image:Narutentacles.jpg|Even most [[fanart]] doesn't cover as many hentai themes as the new opening.
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| Image:Tsunade Akamaru.jpg|Upcoming scene in ''Naruto Shitpooden''.
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| Image:Typical Naruto Scene.jpg|''Naruto'' proves child molestation is a two-way street.
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| Image:Ehhhhhhhhh_crap....JPG|Not even Angelina Jolie is safe in this manga.
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| Image:Narutofags.jpg|Some overweight [[fangirl]] is probably [[masturbating]] to this.
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| Image:NarutoPedophileLies.JPG|[[pedophile|Lies.]]
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| Image:WolverineinNaruto.JPG|Thieving bastards.
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| Image:Boobies_copy.jpg|Naruto: A delicious hidden center of [[porn|porn]] in every bite!
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| Image:NarutoJew.jpeg|Jew star no jewtsu!
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| Image:LoliNinjaRape.jpg|[[Win|Naruto likes them younger still than Hinata.]]
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| Image:DEIDARA RIDES TEH COCK.jpg|[[trap|Deidara]], riding the cock as usual.
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| Image:Disgise as female.jpg|The secret to Naruto's sexy jutsu.
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| Image:naruto yaoi.jpg|Naruto and Sasuke training.
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| Image:SasukesEMO.jpg|With moar emo than evar before!!!
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| Image:Naruto Endorses Barack Obama.jpg|Weeaboo narutofaggots lurve Barrack Jewssein Obama.
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| Image:SLJ Naruto.jpg|[[ENGLISH_MOTHERFUCKER_DO_YOU_SPEAK_IT|CHAKRA MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU USE IT?]]
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| Image:BeastMizuki.png|Does he look like a [[furry]] to you?
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| Image:Beast2Mizuki.png|HOW ABOUT NOW!?
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| Image:Wapanese child abuse.jpg|A [[Narutard]] and his unfortunate offspring. Almost as bad as being raised by furries.
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| Image:Sexynojutsu.jpg|A TRAP!
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| Image:Sasgay trollface.jpg| Sasuke, moments before trolling Karin. Note the striking similarity to [[Rape_Rodent|rape rodent]]
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| Image:Where_Is_My_Dinner.jpg|Every guy in the series has punched Hinata at least five times.
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| Image:Naruto_physics_go_where.jpg|<strike>Most</strike> <strike>two</strike> three of the villains in ''Naruto'' suffer from Giant Fucking Sword Syndrome, commonly known to be caused by [[ITTY BITTY BABY ITTY BITTY BOAT|Itty Bitty Boat Disease]].
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| Image:Naruto_Threesome.jpg|[[Threesome|Bonding the right way.]]
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| Image:Stupidest shit ever.jpg|Fucking hypocrites.
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| Image:NarutoandJeebus.png|Even [[Jesus]] is cool enough to hang out with Naruto.
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| Image:Savethebeer.jpg|Fanmade Naruto humour is already funnier than anime Naruto itself
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| Image:Narutocafe.jpg|No, this is not Photoshopped. This is real.
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| File:Cowboybebopvsnaruto.gif|The makers of naruto [[tracing|fail]] just as hard as their [[narutard|fanbase]].
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| File:NarutoandJeebus.png|Naruto loves [[jesus|Jeebus]].
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| </gallery>}}
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| | |
| ==External Links==
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| *[http://www.narutoxxx.com/ Fapfodder for Narutards]
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| *[http://www.adultgameplay.com/game/252/Naruto-Hentai-Slideshow.html Naruto gallery]
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| *[http://www.adultgameplay.com/game/439/Naruto-quiz.html Naruto Quiz]
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| *[http://www.adultgameplay.com/game/591/Naruto-Hentai-quiz-2.html Naruto Quiz 2]
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| *[http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page/ WTF it has its own Wiki!!!! Vandalize NAO!!!!!!!!!!!111]
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| *[http://narutofanon.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page There's a fanon wiki too! Hit it with your best shot!!!]
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| *[http://vocaroo.com/?media=v1WETeqAHuHDbInYl DAT FAMOUS COPYPASTA] - now in audio form
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| | |
| ==See Also==
| |
| *[[13-year-old boys]]
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| *[[16-year-old girls]]
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| *[[Dynamic Entry]]
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| *[[Narutard]]
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| *[[Kraken's ghost]]
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| *[[Codey Porter]]
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| *[[Chibi-kisame]]
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| {{Anime}}
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| [[Category: Anime]]
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| [[Category:Faggotry]] | |
