Dennis Avner: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:Stalking Cat face.jpg|thumb|Yes, this is his face]] | [[Image:Stalking Cat face.jpg|thumb|Yes, this is his face]] | ||
Once upon a time '''Dennis Avner''' was your run of the mill [[basement dwelling]] [[furfag]] working as a sonar technician in the [[Navy]], but thanks to his [[Native American]] heritage, he was advised by a Chief to "follow the ways of the tiger". Young Dennis [[stupid|took this literally]] and spent bazillions of dollars to turn himself into a giant fucking cat and gave up his "slave name" to go by his [[WOW]] name of '''Stalking Cat'''. '''Cat Man''' as he is known by the media, spent all his life's earnings on irreversible plastic surgery, tattooing, and other forms of mutilation such as whisker implants, fang dentures (he had all his real removed!) and a [[lol wut|bionic tail]] and will not stop [[unrealistic expectations|until he is 100% feline]], [[what|which includes grafting fur onto his body and being modified to walk on all fours]]. His [[lol|lulzy]] dreams and batshit insane passions have landed him regular spots on many TV <strike>freak</strike> talk shows and TV specials (such as ''[[Larry King]] Live'', ''Ripley's Believe It or Not'' and VH1's ''Totally Obsessed'') making him the most <strike>famous</strike> notorious and <strike>prolific</strike> retarded furry in the world. Though he claims he is "not a furry" and that this is only a part of his cultural heritage, he regularly appears at [[furry|furcon]]s (He was a Guest of Honor at Rainfurrest in 2007) and is known to be extremely rude to con staffs, volunteers, and artists because he thinks he is [[teh]] [[shit]]z. He is hailed by furfags everywhere as a <strike>legend</strike> [[fuck|fucking]] [[faggot]]. | Once upon a time '''Dennis Avner''' was your run of the mill [[basement dwelling]] [[furfag]] working as a sonar technician in the [[Navy]], but thanks to his [[Native American]] heritage, he was advised by a Chief to "follow the ways of the tiger". Young Dennis [[stupid|took this literally]] and spent bazillions of dollars to turn himself into a giant fucking cat and gave up his "slave name" to go by his [[WOW]] name of '''Stalking Cat'''. '''Cat Man''' as he is known by the media, spent all his life's earnings on irreversible plastic surgery, tattooing, and other forms of mutilation such as whisker implants, fang dentures (he had all his real teeth removed!) and a [[lol wut|bionic tail]] and will not stop [[unrealistic expectations|until he is 100% feline]], [[what|which includes grafting fur onto his body and being modified to walk on all fours]]. His [[lol|lulzy]] dreams and batshit insane passions have landed him regular spots on many TV <strike>freak</strike> talk shows and TV specials (such as ''[[Larry King]] Live'', ''Ripley's Believe It or Not'' and VH1's ''Totally Obsessed'') making him the most <strike>famous</strike> notorious and <strike>prolific</strike> retarded furry in the world. Though he claims he is "not a furry" and that this is only a part of his cultural heritage, he regularly appears at [[furry|furcon]]s (He was a Guest of Honor at Rainfurrest in 2007) and is known to be extremely rude to con staffs, volunteers, and artists because he thinks he is [[teh]] [[shit]]z. He is hailed by furfags everywhere as a <strike>legend</strike> [[fuck|fucking]] [[faggot]]. | ||
==External Links== | ==External Links== | ||
*[http://dennisavner.com/ a site about him] | *[http://dennisavner.com/ a site about him] | ||
Revision as of 00:54, 27 September 2011
Once upon a time Dennis Avner was your run of the mill basement dwelling furfag working as a sonar technician in the Navy, but thanks to his Native American heritage, he was advised by a Chief to "follow the ways of the tiger". Young Dennis took this literally and spent bazillions of dollars to turn himself into a giant fucking cat and gave up his "slave name" to go by his WOW name of Stalking Cat. Cat Man as he is known by the media, spent all his life's earnings on irreversible plastic surgery, tattooing, and other forms of mutilation such as whisker implants, fang dentures (he had all his real teeth removed!) and a bionic tail and will not stop until he is 100% feline, which includes grafting fur onto his body and being modified to walk on all fours. His lulzy dreams and batshit insane passions have landed him regular spots on many TV freak talk shows and TV specials (such as Larry King Live, Ripley's Believe It or Not and VH1's Totally Obsessed) making him the most famous notorious and prolific retarded furry in the world. Though he claims he is "not a furry" and that this is only a part of his cultural heritage, he regularly appears at furcons (He was a Guest of Honor at Rainfurrest in 2007) and is known to be extremely rude to con staffs, volunteers, and artists because he thinks he is teh shitz. He is hailed by furfags everywhere as a legend fucking faggot.
External Links
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