Blazger: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 09:31, 31 October 2011

Hey!

This article isn't lulz just yet, but its coverage can spark a lollercoaster.
You can help by reverting people who delete shit, and vandalizing their user pages.
See this article on Google? Want to add something? Join us!

File:Blazger fursuit cock.jpg

This is what 14 year olds see before they die

Blazger is a gay furfag wereotherkin juggalo from Chicago, who has over 9000 lovers and regularly hits on other people. It doesn't matter if they're married, engaged, dating, single, male, female, transsexual, pansexual, asexual, canine or just Condoleeza Rice. If you show interest or flirt with him, ~~he will hit on you back!~~DELETED However, he DOES prefer the Negro (his gay lover is one!), even thinking he is (his fursona is a BLACK tiger!), which is ridiculous for being a rich white trash juggalo kid. But yo, g, don be frontin' in his grill or he be popping a cap in your ass! Actually, he wants to pop a nut in your ass, unless you're a Lucario in which case he wants you to An Hero.

He especially likes kids. In 2006, he had sex with some furry friends who were ages 14-16, even though he was already 23 at the time. Feeling a bit of peer pressure, he decided to confess. This was quickly followed by many hugs from his FurAffinity friends.

Blazger pretends he's an artist by taking other artists' artwork with or without permission, then coloring them in and posting them so that people can tell him what an awesome artist he is. He is particularly fond of Pokémon and Sonic porn. Posting these and incessantly hitting on everyone is the only way that he can get popular in the furry fandom. Of course, popularity in the fandom is like the Special Olympics: No matter how you finish, you're still retarded.

However, he posted way too many pictures of him fucking a horse on FurAffinity and the admins served him notice! Blazger proceeded to whine his ass off. This was followed by lots of ass kissing by his many pets and lovers and there was online yiffinz to be had!

Blazger goes on to show what a sick fuck he by having another fursona that is his main fursona's daughter. Not only that, but his fursona is incestuously fucking the other. I shit you not. Whether that can be seen as incest or masturbation, it's still entirely sick and wrong. Blazger also plans on making a fursuit of his daughter and wearing it to encourage other furries to act out their fantasies on him.

Homeless

Creepy furry is watching you masturbate!

Blazger often finds himself poor and unable to pay his rent to his Jesus freak landlady who hates his faggotness just like God commands her to. Blazger first tried fucking her in the ass. When that didn't work, he tried eating her 70 year old pussy out because they taste best when aged! MmmMMM. That still didn't work! BUT TIGERS DON'T QUIT! So he got the furry fandom to pay his bills for him while he commissioned more incest porn and Super Smash Brothers porn! A month later, he was poor again and couldn't pay his rent again. Fortunately he had his Furry Fandom Mastercard and was able to get other people to pay his bills in exchange for blowjobs and shitting on their chest. Finally, he kicked out his crackhead roommate and got a new one. However, the new one couldn't stand his smell or his green teeth or all the smelly lovers that passed through and left.] Blazger, realizing he'd have to pay for himself, continued to BAWWW and threatened to become an hero unless someone would rescue him. Fortunately, some dimwitted furfag took him in and so the parasite moved to a new host, paying for him because he lost his job due to his green teeth and his fail driving skillz. How does Blazger deal with being jobless and poor and unable to pay rent? Why he throws huge parties and plans raves, of course! Only sexalicious fuzzy buns are invited though!

Later, his boyfriend's mother gave him $1000 for fucking her in the badonkadonk. Jobless, poor, and without a working car, Blazger took the money and went to California for the local fur orgy.

Blazger continues to try to make money by offering special "rides" to little children for a quarter.

Pedophile

On May 20th Blazger became a self proclaimed Pedophile, in his journal "Confession"he admits to having sex with an underage furry male

Gallery

I call a BS on his number 7 truth! possibly plushophile? (number 6)

I call a BS on his number 7 truth! possibly plushophile? (number 6)
At a fur con, everyone can have friends
Blazger pretending not to be a huge faggot
Blazger's sex suit
Blazger likes a good furpile
Ohhh, daddy!
Like every furry, he has an emo whiny LiveJournal too, where he constantly talks about leaving the fandom forevar!
Blazger waits outside supermarkets, offering special "rides" to little children
(Blockatiel added to increase viewing pleasure.)
Breaking news! Blazger admits to being a pedo!
Coming soon to a mailbox near you!