John Pike: Difference between revisions
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[[File:John Pike Jesus.jpg| center| frame|Fuck [[Jesus]]]] | [[File:John Pike Jesus.jpg| center| frame|Fuck [[Jesus]]]] | ||
[[File:Article-2065628-0EE8841400000578-142 306x370.jpg|thumb|right|Look at that chubby expression, he knows what he did, the little [[troll|rascal]]]] | [[File:Article-2065628-0EE8841400000578-142 306x370.jpg|thumb|right|Look at that chubby expression, he knows what he did, the little [[troll|rascal]]]] | ||
'''Lt. John Pike''', a.k.a. '''The Pepper Spray Cop''' a.k.a. '''Dr Pepper''' is a [[badass]] policeman who appropriately dealt with a large line of dirty jobless [[hippies]] at the [[Occupy Wall Street|Occupy CU Davis]] in [[California]], by [[pwn|pwning]] their ugly faces with [[Cum|a nice hot stream]] of pepper spray. Pike couldn't stand their newfaggotry and bitchy whining, plus the little shits were blocking his way to an ice cream van on the other side of the park, so he did what any God-Loving patriot would do: proceed to whip out his [[Dong|Pepper spray can]] and cover the irritating [[nerds]] in liquidized orange pain [[I DID IT FOR THE LULZ|for the lulz]]. | '''Lt. John Pike''', a.k.a. '''The Pepper Spray Cop''' a.k.a. '''Dr Pepper''' is a [[badass]] policeman who appropriately dealt with a large line of dirty jobless [[hippies]] at the [[Occupy Wall Street|Occupy CU Davis]] in [[California]], by [[pwn|pwning]] their ugly faces with [[Cum|a nice hot stream]] of [[Zyklon B|pepper spray]]. Pike couldn't stand their newfaggotry and bitchy whining, plus the little shits were blocking his way to an ice cream van on the other side of the park, so he did what any God-Loving patriot would do: proceed to whip out his [[Dong|Pepper spray can]] and cover the irritating [[nerds]] in [[Tubgirl|liquidized orange]] pain [[I DID IT FOR THE LULZ|for the lulz]]. | ||
Since the incident, Pike has become a [[forced meme]], and every [[hipster]] in the universe has applied their [[retarded|brilliant]] | Since the incident, Pike has become a [[forced meme]], and every [[hipster]] in the universe has applied their [[retarded|brilliant]] Photoshop skillz, [[cuntpaste|cuntpasting]] Pike's chillax lulzy stroll onto every random picture they can find. [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/25/john-pike-uc-davis-pepper-spray-anti-gay-slur_n_1113420.html He also hates fags]. Whatta guy. | ||
===The [[tl;dw|captivating]] true story=== | ===The [[tl;dw|captivating]] true story=== | ||
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==[[Butthurt]] Anonymous== | ==[[Butthurt]] Anonymous== | ||
Among the many people that were butthurt about | Among the many people that were butthurt about Johnny-boy's appropriate use of force was [[anonymous]], [[13-year-old boy|13-year-olds]] everywhere switched on their screechy, lame voice synthesizers, focusing all the [[nerd rage]] they could into JewTube videos, stating that the whole situation is [[Serious business |srs business]]. And the selective vigilantism did in fact work, because John's [[dox]] were thereafter [http://pastebin.com/QghPtQLr posted]. | ||
{{frame|{{fv|needledropvids|background-color: green;|font-weight: soft; | {{frame|{{fv|needledropvids|background-color: green;|font-weight: soft; | ||
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== See Also == | == See Also == | ||
* [[Don't Tase Me Bro]] | * [[Don't Tase Me Bro]] | ||
* [[Gas Mask Girl]] | |||
* [[Occupy Wall Street]] | * [[Occupy Wall Street]] | ||
* [[Zyklon B]] | |||
== External Links == | == External Links == | ||
Revision as of 09:18, 6 December 2011
Lt. John Pike, a.k.a. The Pepper Spray Cop a.k.a. Dr Pepper is a badass policeman who appropriately dealt with a large line of dirty jobless hippies at the Occupy CU Davis in California, by pwning their ugly faces with a nice hot stream of pepper spray. Pike couldn't stand their newfaggotry and bitchy whining, plus the little shits were blocking his way to an ice cream van on the other side of the park, so he did what any God-Loving patriot would do: proceed to whip out his Pepper spray can and cover the irritating nerds in liquidized orange pain for the lulz.
Since the incident, Pike has become a forced meme, and every hipster in the universe has applied their brilliant Photoshop skillz, cuntpasting Pike's chillax lulzy stroll onto every random picture they can find. He also hates fags. Whatta guy.
The captivating true story
U Mad OWS?
Footage of Pike raping hippie's eyes
IN THE FACE |
Faux News coverage
Faux News understand that this pudgy, mustachioed cop was only truly doing his duty in spraying the little jobless bastards, and expressed in utmost sincerity through political pundit Megyn Kelly that they were clearly just being a bunch of whining pussies.
— | ||
.
Of course most other news coverage spoke of this beautiful cop hero as though he is some sort of villain, despite being an astute defender of lulz and our right to walk through a park. Some even insinuated that the unwashed hippies were not explicitly asking for it, which they clearly were, normal citizens need to walk their dog dammit.
Butthurt Anonymous
Among the many people that were butthurt about Johnny-boy's appropriate use of force was anonymous, 13-year-olds everywhere switched on their screechy, lame voice synthesizers, focusing all the nerd rage they could into JewTube videos, stating that the whole situation is srs business. And the selective vigilantism did in fact work, because John's dox were thereafter posted.
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