Austin Fullmer: Difference between revisions
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'''Austin Fullmer''' is a 19 year old second-generation [[Scientologist]] who completely [[failed]] at his [[American Idol]] audition, and freaked out Simon Cowell. Austin's real job is processing [[feces|sewage]] so that it can be re-used in [[LA]] as [[Jenkem|drinking water]]. Appearing at one of the early auditions, when people are most likely to be complete [[retards]] and utterly lacking in talent, Austin attempted to sing a song by lame [[1970s]] [[rock]] band Cheap Trick. | '''Austin Fullmer''' is a 19 year old second-generation [[Scientologist]] who completely [[failed]] at his [[American Idol]] audition, and freaked out Simon Cowell. Austin's real job is processing [[feces|sewage]] so that it can be re-used in [[LA]] as [[Jenkem|drinking water]]. Appearing at one of the early auditions, when people are most likely to be complete [[retards]] and utterly lacking in talent, Austin attempted to sing a song by lame [[1970s]] [[rock]] band Cheap Trick. | ||
<youtube>rSNfXXTzbk8</youtube> | <center><youtube>rSNfXXTzbk8</youtube></center> | ||
{{tinyquote|'''Austin''': This is my purpose in life. '''Simon''': No, it's not.}} | {{tinyquote|'''Austin''': This is my purpose in life. '''Simon''': No, it's not.}} | ||
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Apart from his horrible [[fashion]] sense, which is common in Scilons, former [[OSA]] agent Gary Scarff ("Smurf" on [[Enturbulation|Why We Protest]]) declared that he has known Austin's parents for years, and that they are [[hardcore]]. His [[batshit]] screaming at the judges has also been identified as an attempt at Scientology [[magic]] (Tone 40) to make people do what he says. Scientology works and it helps people. | Apart from his horrible [[fashion]] sense, which is common in Scilons, former [[OSA]] agent Gary Scarff ("Smurf" on [[Enturbulation|Why We Protest]]) declared that he has known Austin's parents for years, and that they are [[hardcore]]. His [[batshit]] screaming at the judges has also been identified as an attempt at Scientology [[magic]] (Tone 40) to make people do what he says. Scientology works and it helps people. | ||
==Moar== | ==Moar== | ||
Revision as of 11:27, 27 June 2015
Austin Fullmer is a 19 year old second-generation Scientologist who completely failed at his American Idol audition, and freaked out Simon Cowell. Austin's real job is processing sewage so that it can be re-used in LA as drinking water. Appearing at one of the early auditions, when people are most likely to be complete retards and utterly lacking in talent, Austin attempted to sing a song by lame 1970s rock band Cheap Trick.
How do we know he's a Scilon?
Apart from his horrible fashion sense, which is common in Scilons, former OSA agent Gary Scarff ("Smurf" on Why We Protest) declared that he has known Austin's parents for years, and that they are hardcore. His batshit screaming at the judges has also been identified as an attempt at Scientology magic (Tone 40) to make people do what he says. Scientology works and it helps people.
Moar
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