Cash Items

STEP THE FUCK OFF! Cash Items looks like shit but it is NOT a {{crapstub}}. It is a work in progress! If you require assistance beefing up this article, then hit up the experts on our IRC.

Cash Items are items found in the various free to play (and more recently some of the pay per month) online games played by basement dwellers worldwide, in an attempt to line the pockets of the games' proprietors with more and more of mom and dad's money. Years ago some enterprising jew realized that they could sell pixels and sometimes not even that (in the form of simple numeric increases in stats, storage space, and similar) to the aspie's who feel that such additions are necessary to increase their status' in their confused merger of real life / online avatars necessary for their validation. The following is a list of the various online games where such jew gold mining of the pockets of government supported 30 year old pederasts and 12 year olds' parents occurs.

Gaia Online

Cash items are items you obtain on Gaia Online by funneling your money into valueless virtual shit, that you could instead use it to get at least 100 gallons of gas on but instead sent the fucks at least $100 because you wanted to get those "awesome pixels" for your "awesome avatar"! Unlike the Monthly Collectibles, all the items are complete shit and nobody cares about them. However Gaiafags like em because it's what they wanted and that they're GAIAFAGS.

Items range from 25¢ - $9.99

Evolution Items

The developers of Gaia decided to give the oldfags the finger and make items that transform periodically. This caused a major shitstorm as many gaiafags not only believed they were similar to monthly collectibles (looking more detailed, having multiple ways to wear them, and being generally more weeaboo-tastic than other items), but took it as a way for the staff to just get moar moneys off them (see Gaia Drama). Over 9000 users later quit FOREVAR. Some are now considering about starting a revolution on the site, for the faggots feel that the staff members dont give a shit about them but their money instead.

Lulz from Gaia Developers

Last thursday one of the evolving items (The shitty Bottle, an item made very popular by Narutards) made its final transformation and turned into a sword that made over 9000 Gaiafags BAWW over its pixellated shit of fail. Some fags didn't believe this was real but after at least 100 complaints they finally accepted it. However, some Gaiafags now use this as an example of Gaia's faggotry when bitching about something, they will frequently be heard saying things like: "DIS FEATUR SUKS! IT SUKS AS MUTCH AS DA BAWWWWWTLES FINAL FORM!!!1!!11!".

Money for "Money"

Some games, while avoiding the direct crime of obviously selling nothing for something as many other games have fallen into, there are a select few that have gone the sneakier route of, on top of their monthly fee, giving users a way to pay money and in return are given in game currencies for their valuable real world moneys. Such offenders are the following:

===EVE Online=== - While not directly selling money for "money" they nonetheless have a sneaky manner in which they provide their users with the ability to do so for them. EVE sells game time cards to those with entirely too much money to invest in their online gaming experience and with the added "Securely Sell EVE Time Codes" functionality in a users account section, provides a way to sell these real money investments for in game currency to smart gamers who choose to instead waste time hoarding ISK (EVE's in game currency) to purchase game time. This allows these more saavy gamers a way to spend the entire month mining away for ISK so they can purchase next months game card from those with too much money on their hands, all for free.